Lip Service

I found these keys last time I was here. Are they yours? Never seen them before.

And who's Alma Carter? Is she my mother?

Alma Carter's not interested. She didn't want you.

Who's that then?

It's Hayley, the fit intern.

She's been flirting with me non stop. Hayley?

Tell her to take the day off tomorrow, right? And ring me.

I had to fire her. You recommended her. She's your protege.

I'm Tess, Chloe's ex. Who the hell are you? Shona.

Were you seeing her before you finished with me?

Is there anything I need to worry about?

You... you and Frankie, you go back a long way...

She's a friend, that's all.

Is there someone? Anyone?

Cat... It's always been Cat.

Oh, my god!

Oh! Oh, god!

Morning.

I think I love you...

I'm sorry.

No...

I like it.

Do you just like it, hm?

Or...

I need to go to work.

I feel your heat, but cannot touch.

A lonely moon orbiting the sun.

The gravity between us,

The only thing stopping me from falling back to earth...

Audition script? Sorry.

I wish. No, it's Ed's book.

Well, first draft. It's really good.

You sound surprised. Well, I'm not, but I mean, really good,

like a proper book you'd pay money for and everything.

It's about these two scientists working on a space station...

and he really loves her but he can't do anything about it because she might

be from this race of aliens they're researching and he might be a robot.

It's brilliant. Brilliant...

So, um...

did you and Jay stay up long after I crashed?

Not really.

Cos I got up in the middle of the night to get a drink and...

You saw. I couldn't help it.

Yeah, well, it was nothing. It was Jay! He's a man! He's...

he's got, like, bits. It's just like a strap-on without the strap.

Aagh! What...

but what about Becky? How's she going to find out?

Well, I won't tell her. Neither am I, and I doubt Jay's going to be shouting it from the rooftops.

We were drunk, it felt like a good idea at the time. All right.

As long as you're not going all hasbian on me.

Becky throw you out early or something? No, no.

I didn't stay there last night. Thanks.

Everything all right? Uh-hum.

I just thought you two were in training for domestic bliss.

When did you know? That you loved her?

Why you asking me that? When does anyone know?

You're a keeper, you tell me.

Morning.

How's the hangover?

All right, yeah. I think I...

got away with it. I just got to go... photocopy these things.

I didn't expect you in today.

You walked in on them? No, the door was open. They're actually having an affair?

No! Apparently it was just a one night thing.

Has Frankie always been...

Well, she's always been out with girls but I know she's fucked

a couple of guys here and there. Is that...

I mean, have you ever?

And Jay? Jay'd probably fuck you if you had tits.

What is this?

Early birthday present.

Argh, you remembered.

But you're not allowed to open it. I'm going to open it!

Ah!

Ah, that's so sweet!

Thank you.

It's you and me, Mykonos '08! Yeah.

Look at your pasty little chest.

So what we doing for it?

Er, there's not much to celebrate.

It's your 30th!

Exactly.

By now I was supposed to be guesting onstage having already built up a Hollywood fan base.

Instead it's like I'm in some shit version of Groundhog Day.

It's not that bad.

Well. So we're what, successful?

There's no point dressing it up.

But what am I doing about it? What are you doing about it?

You've got this great book... Did you read it? Yeah.

And? It's brilliant.

But instead of getting it out there you're here drinking tea.

Where's the drive, the bloody-minded determination to push your life to the next level?

I've sent it off.

Oh!

Well done. Just to some agents.

I was going to ask if yours had a literary division, actually.

No. I don't think so. Um...

I mean, I could ask? I was going to pop in today actually,

big push and all that...

Hey. Hey.

I'm sorry about last night, the police and everything. It's no excuse...

I saw my Uncle after you gave me Alma's details. And what'd he say?

That she didn't want me.

So she is your mother?

Yeah.

What now? I don't know. It's not like I've got any way of finding her even if she wanted to be found.

Well, if you do get another lead, try leaving me a message instead of going nuclear.

Yeah, speak to you later. Well...

nice to see you two getting on again.

The site is an old school but the developers are doing an appraisal to turn it into flats.

They've asked us for our input. No way...

Don't worry, the orphans have all been rehoused.

No. This is where we went.

You were schoolgirls together? Yeah, uniforms and everything.

We were a couple of years apart.

I wouldn't mind going back. I could take some pictures.

The brochure's almost done. You just need to choose the photos that you want.

I'll do the school as part of the same fee.

That's really not necessary...

No, hang on! Anything that improves the pitch...

Unless you think your personal feelings could cloud your judgement again.

They won't. Right. Perfect.

I'll expect something on my desk when I get back from Germany then.

What's his problem?

Doesn't matter.

I had it in my head that I wanted a fry up.

So I went to this all-night cafe, fell asleep, and by the time I woke up it was time to come in...

Really? Here, I'll phone the estate agents right now. No, you won't, cos we're not doing it.

Becks?

I want you.

All this stuff can wait till we're both ready, OK?

But don't think going AWOL's the way to get round me... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I love you, OK?

I want what you want. I promise.

I'll see you later. Bye.

See you.

Hey. What are you doing?

Nicotine?

Right. Jay!

It was only a fuck. Listen. It was a fucking mistake.

Yeah, well, it was both of us. I didn't have to twist your dick.

I just want to forget about this, OK?

I already have. Hello!

Hey. Hands up if your head hurts today.

Yeah. What you doing here?

I wanted to talk about Tess' birthday.

Is my sister around?

I could get a new haircut.

Like a pixie bob, accentuate my cheekbones, fringe over the wrinkles?

It isn't as if I haven't been trying for you, Tess, but...

I know. You have seen most of the casting directors in Scotland.

And?

And the feedback I get is...

you have a tendency to...

What?

Too physical? I don't project enough?

Be a little negative.

What? You did cry at audition.

Once! Then there was the balcony incident at the Shakespeare workshop.

Romeo had a hard-on!

So what do I do, Saphia?

Cheer up.

You're an actress...

contort your face into a smile and be happy!

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Er, yes, I'm just finishing with a client...

Oh, Tess...smile. OK!

She said she didn't want a fuss. She always says that.

But I think that's what she needs after Lou.

Yeah, well, you are the Tess expert. What are you thinking? Surprise...

The Dykes of Hazard.

Friday night at Gravity.

Country and western.

Tess does love it. It's got Kenny Rogered, Billy Gay Cyrus...

Playing to a bunch of hen nights in stetsons...

Yeah, and how are we going to get her down there without her realising? Why not do it at my flat?

It's not like we haven't got the space.

As long as it doesn't get too messy again.

Messy how?

The...flat warming last night...

Tess puked. I passed out.

You'd have hated it.

What do you think I am? That sounds exactly what you'd want from a party! Yeah, exactly.

Tess has been going on about the local.

I could take her down there while you guys set up. Or I could?

I mean, I already talked to her about doing something...

so if you guys say you're busy, if she does try to make other plans,

then she'll have no other option. Fine.

You all right?

Yeah, it's just...

Hayley. I feel like if I'd looked out for her a bit more she might still be in a job.

She's a big girl, Cat.

Someone gave her the ketamine. She didn't say who?

She wouldn't tell me. She thinks I'm like a teacher or something.

You always were a bit of a girl scout. Thanks.

No, in a good way!

How's it good?

You think about stuff,

you don't just dive in.