The Hot Seat (Dans la sauce)

HOSTED BY PAUL DE SAINT SERNIN

Dôme de Paris,

we've brought you world champions!

That's right, I said "world champions!"

On one side, France '98!

The legends that inspired us!

They brought home France's first World Cup!

One, two, three nil against Brazil!

They're here tonight!

On the other side…

France 2018!

They also inspired us!

They faced Croatia in the final and brought home the trophy.

They're here tonight!

For the first time in France,

for the first time in history,

they're getting roasted.

They've agreed to be made fun of, to take some heavy hits.

Facing them are some of my friends,

France's greatest comedians.

We're in for an exceptional evening with a single goal.

Just one.

THE HOT SEAT

Don't end up in the hot seat!

How are you guys doing?

This is The Hot Seat , on Netflix.

I'm Paul de Saint-Sernin,

and we're in for a night to remember.

Make some noise, Dôme de Paris!

Let's introduce tonight's real stars.

They've agreed to play along. Here they are.

The triumphant 1998 French national team!

Emmanuel Petit!

Marcel Desailly!

Frank Lebœuf!

Christophe Dugarry!

And Mr. Robert Pirès!

And on the other side, let's hear you, Dôme de Paris, France 2018!

With Adil Rami!

Samuel Umtiti!

Presnel Kimpembe!

Steve Mandanda!

And my man, Blaise Matuidi!

How are you doing? Are you guys comfortable?

Feeling good?

Can you believe it, guys? On this stage,

there are ten World Cup winners who have ten years of education combined.

You guys are my idols.

You inspired me. I made some choices because of you.

I started playing soccer to be like Zidane.

I started reading so I didn't end up like Rami.

Why are we all here tonight? Let me tell you.

Each and every one of us spends our lives

thinking about soccer's big questions.

Who is better, Messi or Ronaldo?

Is there too much money?

Does Fabien Barthez's head look like a testicle?

Is that why Laurent Blanc kisses him?

The question we're all thinking about right now, every person here,

is the question, "Hi, I'm Frank Lebœuf,

do you know how much your car is really worth?"

I just signed on for another two years, so get used to it! Thanks.

The question we're all asking is,

"Which team is better, the 1998 French team or the 2018 French team?"

At first, to answer this question,

we thought about having them play a game, but no one watches parasports.

So we thought we'd do a roast.

That's when you insult someone, but they're okay with it.

That's why Patrick Bruel's not here.

That's very important.

In a roast, you make fun of someone, but they're okay with it.

They're in on the joke.

Otherwise, it's just a Netflix documentary about Raymond Domenech.

As long as it's done with respect, and I can't stress this enough,

you're free to discuss any topic.

Even personal, difficult topics, like illegitimate children.

Speaking of which, how are you, Marcel Desailly?

Marcel has more illegitimate children than championship titles.

And he's won a lot of titles.

Statistically, in the audience, ten of you are Marcel's kids.

-I can take it. -Thank you, Marcel,

for coming by tonight for the DNA tests.

The birth rate in France is falling,

so let me help out…

There you go.

We can talk about painful topics,

like, for example, injuries.

Speaking of which, how are you, Samuel Umtiti?

His knee went out in 2018,

and it never came back.

He won the World Cup

and the right to park in disabled parking spots.

You've been through some tough times.

Depression, veganism… Tell the truth, Samuel.

You're white.

This is all about love and kindness.

Hello, Christophe Dugarry.

He used to own a bar in Bordeaux.

It was called "Nowhere Else."

That's exactly what Barcelona fans said

when he left the club.

"Nowhere else."

Presnel Kimpembe… What did you say?

I can confirm that.

You can confirm it?

-He played for Barcelona. -You did? I don't remember.

Christophe…

Presnel Kimpembe is with us tonight. How's it going, Presnel?

Presnel won the World Cup without taking part in the final.

He won the Champions League without taking part in the final.

He has three kids with his wife. Did you take part?

Steve Mandanda, how are you doing?

How are you, Steve? You all know Steve.

Goalkeeper for Marseille, substitute goalkeeper for France.

I don't need to roast Steve. His career already has.

-Robert Pirès, how are you? -I'm doing great.

Guys, is genetics crazy or what?

His dad is Portuguese and his mom is Spanish,

yet he's such a boring commentator.

We all know that great players don't always make great coaches.

Now we know that they don't make great commentators either.

I'm kidding, Robert. You were never a great player.

Speaking of players who weren't great, Blaise Matuidi.

No, stop.

Blaise Matuidi has written a book.

End of joke.

Adil is here too.

-Adil. -Yeah.

Let me explain.

You sit there and watch, just like at the World Cup.

Do you understand?

Does everyone understand? For each joke about the '98 team,

their meter will rise.

For each joke about the 2018 team, their meter will rise.

At the end, we'll see which one overflows.

Only one team can win, and they'll go home with the trophy.

To put it to the test,

here's someone who won't spare either team.

Waly Dia!

Wow.

So, Israel or Palestine?

No, that's not it. Depardieu or Patrick Bruel? No.

'98 or 2018? That's it.

I have something in common with Mbappé, Zidane, Thuram, and Dembélé.

I didn't want to come either.

It's difficult to roast people you like.

Luckily, Dugarry is here.

He's the first one who said yes.

We needed players with time on their hands and who need money.

He ticks both boxes.

Thanks for being here. Thanks for being broke.

I know who got paid the least, and who got paid the most.

Yes, Frank Lebœuf. Some people were paid.

You make enough money from those ads. We've had enough.

You look like a bald thumb with eyes trying to sell a used Twingo. Enough!

Cars, shoes, sports bets, meat…

If you go out at night, you'll bump into Lebœuf

trying to sell you drugs. He needs to stop.

Frank, if…

Frank, if you need money that badly,

can't you just rob Pogba like everyone else?

Aren't you tired of being a walking billboard?

Take Zidane, for example. Who does he do ads for

besides Adidas, Volvic, Orange,

Audi, Dior, Vuitton, Ford, Danone, Mango,

Canal Sat, Grand Optical, Lego, France Télécom, Montblanc,

Alpine, Generali, EA Sports, Leader Price, and even Qatar?

He keeps a low profile.

Do you have an ad deal for Marcel Desailly?

He's broke.

He's the first World Cup winner to go on welfare.

He's struggling to pay child support for his 57 kids.

Marcel, you don't need a budget. You need a vasectomy.

It's much simpler.

Immense, Desailly.

An immense defender.

You stopped the best attacking duos in the world.

You stopped Ronaldo and Rivaldo, Vieri and Del Piero.

The only duo that ever beat you was your ex-wife and the judge.

Paul's right, you have too many kids.

What if I'm your son?

I started a charity with Tsonga, Shy'm, and Mister V

called "Dad, where are you?"

It's nothing but mixed folks with doubts and questions.

For the inheritance, we're screwed.

Even if you leave us a million, we'll get only 20 each.

The World Cup is coming up, which means we're in for the usual debate.

Are there too many Black players on the French team? Yes.

Because we want to win.

When you look at '98 compared to 2018, things have changed.

The '98 team looked like a bunch of undercover cops.

The 2018 team looked like they got beaten up by undercover cops.

Arriving at the Clairefontaine team camp has changed too.

They look like Fashion Week models now. Pants, skirts with a matching handbag.

Back in '98, they turned up looking like trash.

Barthez would drive a van, smoking, pleather wallet in his shorts.

"Guys, do you want to train or just fuck around?"

So true.

Speaking of goalkeepers, Mandanda…

He's the only one I'll go easy on,