Robot Chicken

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

IT'S ALIVE!

MM! OH, NO! OHH!

AHHHHH...

YEAH.

YOU'RE A BITCH.

- HA HA HA! SORRY, LITTLE GIRL,

BUT QUEEN BERYL NEEDS YOUR LIFE FORCE

IN ORDER TO TAKE OVER THE PLANET EARTH.

HA HA HA!

- SERENA, CHANGE INTO SAILOR MOON, QUICKLY.

RIGHT. MOON. PRISM. POWER.

OHH...

IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I WILL PUNISH--

OH, MY GOD.

HA HA HA! HMM!

WHAT? WHAT IS IT? OH, MAN! OH!

I--I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT HAPPENED.

- JEEZ. - I'M SO SORRY.

THAT IS SO DISRESPECTFUL OF ME.

YOU ARE PRETTY HOT, THOUGH.

SHOULD WE STILL FIGHT?

BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY WANT TO ANYMORE.

- UM, YOU KNOW, THE MOMENT HAS DEFINITELY PASSED.

ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

YEAH, SURE. OK. ANOTHER TIME.

- AW, YEAH, MAN. I AM RIDGED FOR HER PLEASURE.

BIG TALK FOR A VIRGIN.

- IF I POON ENOUGH NOOBS, I CAN RAISE MY RANK

IN THE SERVER FROM 3 TO 1.

BE OUR 99th CALLER RIGHT NOW

TO WIN OUR "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 3" CONTEST.

OOH, OOH.

- HELLO. YOU'RE OUR 99th CALLER. - EXCELLENT!

- YOU WIN YOUR CHOICE OF A GAMEBOY ADVANCE

OR A DATE WITH "M:I 3" STAR SCARLET JOHANSSON.

- CAN I HAVE BOTH? - NO.

- DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE RIGHT NOW? - YES.

OHHHHHHHHHHHH...

OOOOOHHH...

UMMMMMMMMM...

UHHHHHHHH...

UMMMMMMMMMMM...

OHHHHHHHHHHH...

UHHHHHHHH...

I GUESS I CHOOSE SCARLET JOHANSSON.

[PIANO PLAYING FIFTIES ROCK-AND-ROLL BALLAD]

- LOOK. CAN'T I JUST ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW AND SHAKE HIS HAND?

- NO. THE CONTEST SPECIFIES LUNCH.

CRAP IN A HAT.

SO DO YOU EVER PLAY THE SIMS?

I MADE A SCARLET JOHANSSON SIM, AND SHE LIVED IN MY HOUSE,

AND SOMETIMES WE WENT IN THE HOT TUB TOGETHER,

BUT I FORGOT TO BUY A FIRE EXTINGUISHER,

SO THERE WAS A GREASE FIRE IN THE KITCHEN,

AND SCARLET DIED.

- MM-HMM. - GIVE US ALL YOUR MONEY.

- AAH! LEAVE US ALONE, YOU HOOLIGANS.

HI-JAH! KI-CHA!

HE FIGHTS LIKE A TIGER.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

THAT WAS SO STELLAR.

- GARY IS TOTALLY GONNA SCORE NOW.

- YOU--YOU SAVED ME. YOU'RE MY HERO.

MMM...

- DO YOU TAKE THIS BE'HOM TO BE YOUR BE'NAL?

HI-JAH!

A-GOO. GOO GOO GOO.

SCARLET, MY LOVE,

THERE'S SOMETHING I MUST TELL YOU BEFORE I DIE.

WHAT IS IT, MY LOVE?

- I STAGED THE WHOLE FIGHT ON OUR FIRST DATE.

I WON YOUR HEART UNDER FALSE PRETENSES.

OH, THANK GOD.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU, TOO.

I'M NOT REALLY SCARLET JOHANSSON.

I WAS JUST A PROFESSIONAL SCARLET JOHANSSON IMPERSONATOR.

AHEM.

MY REAL NAME IS RAYMOND DiBONATELLO

FROM QUEENS, NEW YORK.

THAT EXPLAINS WHY SCARLET JOHANSSON

HAD A GIANT JOHANSSON.

OH!

OH, GO IN PEACE, MY ANGEL.

- QUEEN BERYL, I HAVE FAILED TO BRING YOU SAILOR MOON'S LIFE FORCE.

YOU FOOL!

YOUR UTTER INCOMPETENCE IS DWARFED

ONLY BY YOUR SHEER STUPIDITY.

EW! - OH! OH! I'M SORRY, YOUR MAJESTY.

I JUST--I KIND OF LIKE IT WHEN YOU YELL AT ME.

IT'S HOT.

- IT'S MY JOB TO PROVIDE A BRIDGE

BETWEEN THE BLOKES AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER

LIKE COBRA COMMANDER AND SERPENTOR

AND THE PEONS AT THE BOTTOM.

I HELP THE PEONS FEEL VALUABLE,

ALTHOUGH IT HELPS NOT TO CALL THEM PEONS.

- HERE'S THAT REPORT YOU WANTED, SIR.

- I TOLD YOU NOT TO STAPLE IT, WRETCH!

SO I'M THE BRIDGE.

- YEAH. CLONING IS AN INTEGRAL PART

OF COBRA'S PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION.

- HAIL COBRA! - HAIL COBRA.

BASICALLY, MY JOB IS TO DEFRAG THE DNA SEQUENCER

BEFORE EACH CLONING AND JUICE THE CAPACITOR--

- HAIL COBRA! - HAIL COBRA.

AND MONITOR THE PLASMA FEED.

I STARTED OUT IN ACCOUNTING,

BUT THERE'S A LOT MORE ROOM FOR ADVANCEMENT DOWN HERE.

- BAIL NOBRA! - BAIL NOBR--OH.

OH, HANG ON A SECOND.

YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW,

ESTABLISHING THE COBRA BRAND NAME IS A PRIORITY FOR US,

SO WE PUT THE COBRA LOGO ON JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.

- HEY, SAFETY IS JOB ONE HERE AT COBRA.

WE FULLY COMPLY WITH OSHA STANDARDS.

IT'S BEEN 34 DAYS SINCE OUR LAST ON-SITE ACCIDENT.

THE WEATHER DOMINATOR EXPLODED,

AND, UH, WE LOST ABOUT 110 GUYS.

YOU CAN STILL KIND OF SEE

WHAT'S LEFT OF SCOTT ANDERSON UP THERE.

WE REALLY SHOULD GET THAT DOWN.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN CHUCKING A SOFTBALL AT IT,

BUT IT'S UP THERE PRETTY GOOD.

- INTEROFFICE ROMANCES ARE STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.

THERE'S A VERY GOOD REASON FOR THAT.

THEY'RE A DISTRACTION.

THEY CUT DOWN ON PRODUCTIVITY, AND THEY ALWAYS END BADLY.

BWAH HA HA HA!