You'll Find Out

Would you please turn off that radio?

Why, lady, that's Kay Kyser.

Hey! Will you shut off that radio? My wife's trying to sleep.

Yeah, well, you'd better wake her up, buddy, or she'll miss Kay Kyser.

You know who that is, honey? That's Kay Kyser.

- Students! Bing Crosby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Are you sure? Yeah.

Well, all right. That's right, Bing Crosby is a crooner who has four boys...

...and he's not making a picture called My Son, My Son, My Son, My Son.

I'm sorry you missed that, Mr. Corey. Miss Gabby Lawson, for your last question.

Mr. Ray Wolfe of Chapel Hill, North Carolina, wants you to name this song.

- "Pop Goes the Weasel." - What?

- "Pop Goes the Weasel." - You popped it right on the head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, what's the difference between a weasel, an easel and a measle?

What's a measle?

Go ahead, break out with it.

Uh, a measle is one of the measles, I guess.

Ha, ha, that's all right. Now, if there is such a word as "measle"...

...it's the singular of "measles," is that right? Or am I too rash?

Now, what's an easel?

- Well, an easel is a... - Yeah, yeah.

Oh, no, don't use your hands.

Describe it in words for our radio audience.

Well, an easel is a sort of stand for artists to put their paintings.

Right, right. That's good enough.

An easel is a frame to support a painter's canvas...

...or on which to place an object of art or a painting.

That's what you said, isn't it? Ha, ha, yeah.

Now, what is a weasel? This one's very "easel."

A weasel is a little man.

A little man?

Are you sure?

That's what I've heard my mother call my father.

Oh, now. Could be, could be.

As a slang expression, you're absolutely right.

Although a weasel is really a small four-legged animal.

But that's very good, Miss Lawson. Thank you.

Thank you. Now, Mr. Corey, here's your last question.

Mr. Frank Martinelli of San Francisco...

...wants you to name this song and tell us from what picture it was taken.

"Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho."

- Correct. "As off to work we go." - That's right.

Is that song from Gulliver's Travels...

...Snow White, Pinocchio or Gone With the Wind?

- It's from Pinocchio. - No, take another guess.

Don't let this get you "Disney." Go ahead, take another guess.

- Students. Snow White.

Right. "Heigh-Ho" was the marching song...

...of Snow White's friends, the Seven Dwarfs.

Now, can you name three of the Seven Dwarfs?

Cut it out.

- Sneezy. - Sneezy. I wonder how he got that?

Now, two more, ha, ha.

Oh, boy, boy.

- Happy. - Happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're doing fine. Sneezy and Happy and one more...

- Oh, Dopey. - What are you looking at me for?

- Just for that you have to sing. Oh.

The song is "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean."

And in case you're nervous... By the way, here are the words to the song.

In case you're nervous, we're gonna give you a bite of this cake every now and then.

Just to help you along.

All right, let's go, and don't stop singing. Take it away, Lyman.

My Bonnie lies over the ocean

A bite.

My Bonnie lies over the sea

- Another bite. Ha-ha-ha.

My Bonnie lies over the ocean

A bite.

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me

A bite.

- Bring back - Bite.

- Bring back - Bite.

- Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me - Bite.

- To me - A bite.

Bring back, bring back Oh, bring back

All right, all right, nice work.

The final round is over, and the judges have decided...

...the winner of this evening's session of the College of Musical Knowledge...

...is none other than Miss Gabby Lawson of Chicago.

- Enjoying the program, honey? - I certainly am.

I can't understand how they make it come out on time.

Good management. Where do you suppose Kay would be if it weren't for me?

- Right out there where he is now. - Ha, ha, you're a very smart girl.

What a session. What a session.

And now, no more cogitation, it's time for relaxation.

So off with your thinking caps, on with your shoes with taps.

And like a fella once said, "Grab yourself a coed."

What I mean is, come on, children, just dance.

Just like the fella once said

It's Sully Mason, Ginny Simms, Harry Babbitt, Ish Kabibble and all the gang.

Take it, Sully.

Like the fella once said Who sat on his hat

I'm telling you, baby I'm leaving you flat

Like the bale of hay said That dropped from a load

I'm telling you, baby I'm hitting that road

Yes, hitting that road

BOTH Admitted, you fooled me for a spell

But just like the farmer told the well

I dug you

- Like the bicycle pump said to the spare Ooh

Uh-huh

- I'm telling you, baby, I'm giving you air Ooh

- So there So there

- Like the fella once said Like the fella once said

Like the fella once said To the mule that was sick

I'm telling you, baby

You're losing your kick

Know what the short chair said to the tall chair?

What did the short chair say?

"High, chair."

Like the fella once said While shaving his mush

I'm telling you, baby You're getting the brush

Know what the bug said to the windshield?

"That's me all over."

Yeah. "That's me all o..."

They'll be off the air in two minutes.

- Let's wait in Kay's dressing room. - All right.

Well, nothing old-fashioned about radio, is there?

Nothing except the comedian's jokes.

You know tonight's the first time I've seen you in six months?

- Let me take a look at you. - Let me take a look at myself first.

Something tells me your face is gonna be an awful shock to Kay's mirror.

Ha, ha, my lips just won't stay on.

- They stay on me just fine. - Oh...

You can't improve on that face and you know it.

Sometimes I think I ought to break down and ask you to marry me.

- Why don't you? - You're not rich enough.

Oh, but my Aunt Margo is. Incidentally, I wrote her all about you.

You know, auntie is a lady who is very hard to please.

Say, what...?

What "what"?

Oh, uh, what did your Aunt Margo say?

Well, she said she'd be very glad to have me back home...

...after so many years at school.

She's glad I invited friends for the night I arrive...

...because it's the eve of my 21 st birthday, and I should have a party anyway.

She'll be very happy to meet my young man...

...and hopes Mr. Kyser won't charge her much for playing at my party.

"Love and kisses, Aunt Margo."

- Chatty old babe, isn't she? - Heh-heh-heh.

- Kay. - Say, Chuck...

...there's a few things I want you to do for me...

Whoa, hold the striptease. This lady comes from nice people.

- Whoa, oh, excuse me. Ha, ha.

- Kay, I want you to meet Janis Bellacrest. - Hello, Mr. Kyser.

The name is Kay. How do you do?

I don't usually undress in front of strange ladies.

- I'm sure you don't. - Come to, Kay.

Janis is the girl you're gonna play for tomorrow night.

- Oh, of course, that's the birthday party. Yes.

- Then you're the girl that Chuck, uh... - That's right.

The girl Chuck met when you were playing Boston.

Say, you told me she was just a schoolgirl.

- She was when I met her, finishing school. - Oh, but now I'm finished.

I know you have a lot of things to do, so I'll run along.

- Did you tell Mac we'll be using the bus? - It's all taken care of.

- I'm looking forward to tomorrow evening. - Thanks.

- So long, boss. - So long.

You're not going back to Bellacrest Manor tonight, are you?

- Mm-mm, I have to finish my shopping. - That's all I wanted to know.

How about a short rumba a long Cuba libre?

- Oh, I can't argue against that. - Swell. I'll get a cab.

Go.

Let her through.

Taxi!

Drive down Broadway.

I'd like to get my hands on the drunk who was driving that car.

He couldn't have come much closer if he was trying to hit you.

He was, Chuck.

- What? - I don't believe that man was drunk.

- I think he aimed at me deliberately. - Well, how do you figure that?

Chuck, that's the third near accident I've had in two weeks.

I didn't mention it because I can't be sure of it...

...but I think somebody's trying to get me out of the way.

So that's why you're packing that artillery in your bag.

I saw it in the mirror.

Oh, but it doesn't make sense, honey.

Who would wanna flatten out those curves of yours?

I haven't the slightest idea who or why.

- You know what I think? - Mm-mm.

I think that you've been the victim of a series of unpleasant coincidences.

You get back home tomorrow, and never give it another thought.

Maybe you're right.

- I'm probably dramatizing the whole thing. - Certainly.

Just the same, I'm glad you're coming to the house.

I'll feel a lot better with you and Kay and the gang around.

Sure you will.

We ought to be pretty near. Two or three minutes maybe.

This'll be a pleasure. I enjoy playing for the 400.

You made the Society page today, Kay. Listen.

"The guests at Janis Bellacrest's 21 st birthday party tonight...

...will dance to the music of Kay Kyser and his band.

Miss Bellacrest returns home today after an absence of three years at school.

Some may remember that the luxurious Bellacrest Manor...

...was built by the late Elmer Bellacrest, noted financial magnate and explorer."

He must have been slightly peculiar too.

I read once that the old boy used to sit by the hour and play the piccolo.