Hornblower

- Shore boat, ahoy! - Aye, aye!

Jump! You'll be all right!

Welcome to purgatory.

Mr. Eccleston, sir.

- Come aboard, sir. - Your name?

H-h-Horatio Hornblower, sir. Midshipman.

Eccleston, first lieutenant.

Mr. Chadd, lieutenant of the watch.

Did you bring your dunnage aboard with you?

My sea chest is coming aboard for'ard.

I'll see it's sent below, where you should go too.

Get out of those wet clothes.

Yes, sir. I mean, aye, aye, sir.

Mr. Kennedy, take Mr. Hornblower down to the midshipmen's birth.

Aye, aye, sir.

Mind your step.

Difficult to say who smells the worst,

the men or the beasts in the manger for'ard.

One gets used to it.

Watch your head.

There goes His Majesty's latest bad bargain.

Belay that, Styles

unless you want to find yourself at the gratings.

Aye, aye, sir.

They're not bad men for the most part,

provided they're kept busy.

But this, endless waiting

most of us have been here six months already.

Discipline, you see?

Things will be different once we transfer to a fighting vessel,

I don't doubt, but who knows when that may be.

Our only hope is that the unpleasantness in France

might come to something.

You've heard the latest rumors, of course?

That Louis was captured just before Christmas.

What do you think they'll do with him? You can't kill a king.

It's as my father explained to his gillie.

Perhaps some of these people have missed the odd meal or two

but lopping the heads of the nobility

isn't going to fill their bellies, is it?

Still, that's Johnny Crapaud for you.

Well, allow me to introduce

the midshipmen of His Majesty's ship of the line, Justinian.

Known else wise to her intimates as the good ship.

Slough of Despond.

What's this, Archie?

Another mess mate, gentlemen.

And whose pretty rear did you neglect kissing to find yourself

among the fleet's forgotten, eh?

- Well, speak, Apparition! - My name is Hornblower.

What an infernal piece of bad luck for you.

How old are you, Mr. Hornblower?

Seventeen, sir.

Seventeen, sir! You hear that Cleveland?

If you wanted to be a seaman, boy,

you should have started at twelve.

I doubt he even knows the difference between

a head and a halyard.

No, but I'll make sure it's the first thing I look up in...

in Norrie's Seamanship.

Now, gentlemen, if you will excuse me.

- Seasick! - Seasick in Spithead!

Your pardon, sir.

There. Just lie quiet until you feel yourself again.

The captain's coming aboard.

Captain Keene...

if ever a man was wrongly named. He looks frailer by the day.

I must thank you for your earlier kindness, Mr?

Clayton.

You mustn't mind Hether and Cleveland.

It's just their way till they get used to you.

Present arms!

Your father writes that you are a solitary boy.

Well, on a vessel of over 800 souls,

you are unlikely to find either time or place for solitude.

How is the good Doctor Hornblower? Well, I trust?

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

He said to be sure to thank you for accepting me

in Justinian as midshipman, sir.

One good turn deserves another.

Your father is an excellent physician.

Yes, sir.

The son of a doctor! Ha!

You'd have done better to choose a lord for your father

if you wanted to make a career in His Majesty's navy.

How far did your education go?

I was a Grecian at school, sir.

- Speak up. - I was a Grecian, sir, at school.

You construed Xenofot, then, as well as Cicero.

Yes, sir. But, not very well, sir.

You'd have done better if you knew something

about sines and cosines.

Better still if you could foresee a squall

in time to get t'gallants in.

We have no time for ablative absolutes in the navy.

- No, sir. - Obey orders, do your duty,

and no harm will come to you.

That will do.

Ah, the Indies, now that's the place, Horatio.

Clear blue skies, and waters too.

I should very much like to see that, Mr. Hether.

So you may,

if we ever get off this stinking hulk and put to sea again.

You're in my seat.

The head of the table is my place.

Come on, up!

How now, my sweet brother officers?

No cheer for Jack's return?

We took you for a lieutenant by now, Jack.

- Did you? - Your commission?

- Refused. - Oh, bad luck.

Bad luck indeed.

So, acting lieutenant Simpson is once again

Mr. Midshipman Simpson.

At your service.

What's this? A new face among our august company. Mr??

Hornblower, sir. Pleased to meet you.

What have you there?

Mutton, sir.

Very fine. Very fine indeed. A mite salty for my taste.

What do you mean by helping yourself to my vittles, sir?

I should have thought my intention was quite obvious.

Kennedy.

You'll acquaint young Snotty here with the way of things

or have you forgotten so soon?

N-n-no. I,

Mr. Simpson may levy a toll upon our seachests for fresh shirts.

Likewise, our issue of spirits, and the best cuts

of meat go to him.

- Why? - He is senior officer in the mess.

We are all midshipmen.

That smacks of republicanism to my mind, Mr. Hornblower.

Is that what you are?

To my knowledge there is nothing in King's Regulations?

I pee on your regulations!

There is but one law in this mess render unto Caesar.

And I'll leave it to you to figure which of us is Caesar

and which is to do the rendering.

He takes your meaning, Jack.

Oh Clayton, you gin-soaked sot.

Strangle a tune from that fiddle of yours.

Hornblower...

Cut a reel.

Didn't you hear me, sir? Dance, I said.

Dance! Dance! Dance!

I've seen men caper more lively on the end of a gibbet.

Mr. Kennedy,

that Mr. Hornblower might learn who runs this mess,

you'll wake him every half-hour day and night

until I tell you otherwise.

Kennedy! Archie!

Kennedy! I said wake Hornblower, not me and the whole darn ship.

- He's sick. - I don't care if he's dying. Keep him quiet.

Archie!

He's started again. I feared as much.

Clayton! If he's unfit, you'll take his duties

in respect to waking Hornblower.

- Do you hear? - As you please, Jack. As you please.

Help me get him back to his bed.

It's all right, Archie,

it's all right. A bad dream. Sleep now, sleep.

What ails him?

What ails us all?

Sir! Mr. Hornblower!

Mr. Eccleston asks if you can attend him in the fighting top.

- The fighting top? - Aye, sir. At once, he said.

Not afraid of heights, are you, Snotty?

Mind you, mighty long drop.

Help me! Please.

Help me... please.

Time, gentlemen!

Let's see how you have fared with the problem

set for you by Mr. Bowles.

Mr. Simpson? E must all rejoice,

the sources of the Nile have been discovered at last.

Your ship, as far as I can make out from your illiterate scrawl

is in central Africa.

See what other terrae incogitiae have been opened up

by the remaining intrepid explorers.

Mr Cleveland, No.

Mr. Hether, No.

Mr. Kennedy, No.

Mr. Hornblower.

You must be proud to be alone successful

among this crowd of intellectual giants.

If you double your attainment while you double your years,

I'm a-feared you'll leave the rest of us behind.

Well done, Mr. Hornblower.

Mr. Bowles! Be so good to see that Mr. Simpson

pays even further attention to his mathematical studies.

Good day, gentlemen!

I've been thinking, gentlemen.

It's time to reconvene the proceedings of the Inquisition.

Who shall we question? There can only be one candidate

who else but the captain's favourite

Mr. Hornblower. Cleveland, Hether table.

- Jack... - Do it unless you want to take his place.

Leave me go!

Quiet boy!

You're a bit of a dark horse, aren't you, Snotty?