Materialists

Hey!

Are you single?

I'm a matchmaker at Adore.

Please give me a call if you want to meet somebody.

We have a lot of great matches for you.

Talk soon.

James, hi.

Thanks for calling me back.

Um, I just wanted to get some feedback on your first date

with my client Sophie.

I'm actually on my way to meet her right now...

but I had a quick chat with her this morning...

and the headline is, she had a great time

and would love to see you again.

Hello? James?

Yeah, I'd like to be taken off the service.

May I ask why?

I thought you were going to set me up

with high-quality women.

I said: a fit woman in her 30s with a nice smile.

She's 40 and fat.

-She's 39. -39 is not 30s, that's 40.

I would never swipe right on a woman like that.

I'm sorry you feel that way.

I'm so happy.

You did it, Lucy.

When you said that he's 47 and only makes 150K a year...

I almost said no, but I'm really happy I trusted you.

I know it's only been one date

and I need to manage my expectations...

but this is probably the best first date I've ever had!

Uh, Sophie, so I just got off the phone with him.

And he loved meeting you,

he had a great time...

But he doesn't feel like the chemistry

is there for him at this time.

So.

Onward and upward.

He doesn't want a second date?

No.

He's balding.

How fucking dare he?

Dating is a risk.

You took a risk. It's brave.

Why did you set me up with someone like that?

He checked a lot of our boxes...

and you checked a lot of his.

So, onwards and upwards.

Let's talk about your next match.

I have an amazing guy for you.

His name is Mark, he's a doctor,

he's very handsome...

he has a full head of hair, he's 48.

That's almost 50.

He looks great for 48.

He's very fit. He looks like he's 40.

-How tall? -5'11".

Is he actually 5'11" or is he actually 5'9" and is lying?

What's a couple of inches?

I don't want to waste my time.

I am not asking for a miracle.

I'm just asking for the bare minimum.

I'm trying to settle.

Sophie.

I know how it feels right now.

But I promise you...

you're going to marry the love of your life.

I don't believe you.

That's okay.

I believe it.

Girl of the hour!

Tonight, we're all gathered

to celebrate the most talented Lucy.

One hell of a matchmaker with razor-sharp instincts...

and an eagle eye for chemistry because this weekend...

her client Charlotte B. is getting married!

Charlotte B. is marrying Peter C.

The Prince Charming

Lucy matched her with 20 months ago.

How many marriages are you responsible for now, Lucy?

Nine.

Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!

Lucy, do a speech!

Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!

Okay.

My speech is...

that if the girl asks for

a 6-foot-tall drink of water...

in his 40s with a salary over 500 grand

and a... good hairline...

you deliver.

How did it go with Sophie L. today?

It took our membership team an hour to get her to renew.

Hopeless.

I'm afraid there's not a single man in New York City

that'll date this girl.

What seems to be the issue?

That's the thing. There is nothing wrong with her.

She's okay attractive...

okay money, okay educated, okay personality.

There's just not a standout quality.

She's not competitive in the mainstream market...

and there is no niche market for her.

Exactly.

And if there's no specialty appeal...

then there's no place for her in any market.

That is tough.

And she's my favorite client right now.

I mean, she's entitled like everyone,

but she's sweet...

and she's realistic, she's not crazy.

She's a nice girl.

There's got to be a guy out there

who just wants a nice girl.

What about Mark P.?

He's okay.

I pitched him to her already.

She's afraid he's not actually 5'11".

And I'm like, can we please not worry

about a couple inches right now?

Because you're about to die alone.

You know there's a surgery for that.

For dying alone?

For getting taller.

Up to six inches.

You break your legs, and...

extend it, let the bone heal itself.

That's a game changer.

It costs like 200K.

Six inches can double a man's value in the market.

If you can afford it,

it's definitely worth the investment.

What's the saying?

"You're not ugly, you just don't have money."

Right.

Do you have a dress picked out for the wedding?

Yes.

Are you going alone?

Mm-hmm.

Lucy M.: The Eternal Bachelorette.

A voluntary celibate.

Do you want me to set you up with someone?

No, I'm gonna die alone.

Or get a rich husband.

Same thing.

Hi, Charles.

Good to see you.

You look beautiful.

Oh, my God, look how big they are.

Mom.

Congratulations.

Nice to see you.

You look beautiful.

Nice to see you again.

Hi, Henry. Hi.

I have been saying to everyone

that Peter and Char are my couple goals...

and I need to find my own Peter

and you're responsible?

Well, I'm how Charlotte and Peter met, okay?

But it's up to the client

to build a strong enough relationship...

that leads to marriage.

But how did you know that

Peter would be the perfect guy for Char?

Well, she can't tell, it's her industry secret.

There are no industry secrets.

We can always meet our life partner

out in the wild or swiping on apps.

But the happy ending to a first date...

is not the second date.

It's changing each other's diapers

and burying each other.

You're looking for a nursing home partner

and a grave buddy.

Who our partner is...

it determines our whole life...

and how we live.

Not for one, two, ten years, but...

forever.

Oh, my God.

I need you so badly.

Yeah, I'm desperate.

Can I give you my card?

Of course.

I'm going through a divorce, but once it's over...

I would really, really like to give you a call.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Lucy. She needs you.

Excuse me.

I just need five minutes alone with her.

-Hi, Charlotte. -Hey, Lucy.

How're you holding up?

Not good.

What's going on?

What's going on...

is that I am a modern woman.

Like, I could've been anything.

Anything.

But I chose to become...