The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox

Well, I saw him first.

But he was looking at me, you pig!

I'll teach you a lesson if you mess with my fruit.

You son of a bitch!

Get off me!

I've warned you now.

Get out and don't come back!

With the greatest pleasure, you shithead!

And in case that isn't perfectly clear...

it means you're the biggest shithead in the city of San Francisco.

Ta-ta!

Out! Out!

Fifty dollars.

All right, gentlemen, how many cards?

Gimme two.

- Malloy? - One.

Two.

Your bet, Malloy.

Fifty dollars.

Okay, Malloy, I'm in.

Hey, you cheap, two-bit bum! You wanna feel it, you buy it!

What do you think I'm doin' here, volunteer work?

- Keep your hands to yourself! - Come on, Trixie!

Here, have another drink! Come on!

Be a nice little girl! Have another drink.

Huh?

What do you got, Malloy?

Full house. Aces over kings.

Beats three queens.

Out.

Thank you, gentlemen.

As the saying goes...

the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong...

but that's the way to bet.

See ya next payday.

Somebody drop that?

You did, you son of a bitch.

- Hang that cheating cardshark! - Get the noose!

- String him up! - "String him up"?

What are you talking about? String him up! What kind of talk is that from nice people?

String him up!

- Hang him! - String him up!

Hold it. Hold it! Hold it!

Now, let's not get carried away with bloodlust.

Where is our cup of human kindness? Where has it runneth to?

It runneth right up your ass, that's where it runneth to!

Somebody get the rope!

- Hang him! - Charlie!

Charlie!

God be with you, Charlie Malloy!

And don't ever forget, you're the only one who ever got it for free!

I'll keep it in mind.

It's the Bloodworths!

- Watch out! It's the Bloodworths! - Bloodwoths, Charlie!

It's the Bloodworth gang! Hit the dirt!

Go! Get those kids outta here!

Oh-ho! Easy!

Let's get him out of here.

Easy.

Come on, boy!

Come on, boy! Come on, Blackjack! Blackjack!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Gentlemen, will you help Mr. Malloy to his horse?

Ooh! Easy.

Hey, easy. Easy!

Easy!

Sure would like to thank you, Mr. Bloodworth.

Forever in your debt.

You bet your ass you're in our debt.

You're gonna help us with a lady to help us pull a job.

- What lady? What job? - Dirtwater.

Oh, can't. Just got kicked out of there for screwing the banker's wife.

And that's the lady.

And then you're gonna be real nice to her and get the key to the bank.

- What about the banker? - He's out of town.

Ain't gonna be any more killin', is there?

Oh, hell, no.

It's just gonna be fast and friendly.

You think you can be fast and friendly?

Never been too fast, but I always been friendly.

You better be, boy.

- Come on! - Hyah! Hyah!

Hey-hyah! Hey-yah!

All right, Romeo. She's up there.

She's fat, she's ugly and she's bowlegged.

You don't have to whisper, because she's deaf too!

It's all set up for you, Malloy.

The keys to the bank are under the mattress.

She's on top of the mattress. Now, when you get up there, you grab her by the--

Mr. Bloodworth, I don't tell you how to rob banks.

Don't tell me how to get keys.

Just remember, sonny boy-- fast and friendly.

Got it, Mr. Bloodworth.

Easy. Easy.

- Street's clear. - All right, let's go, boys.

Come on, Malloy.

Holdup! Holdup!

You said there wouldn't be any killing.

You're still breathin', ain't ya, sweet lips?

You wanna keep it that way?

- Yes, sir, Mr. Bloodworth. - Then shut up. Ride!

Let's go.

Aaah! Where were ya?

Huh?

So the Dirtwater sheriff's got himself a posse.

Let's move.

Get the money.

Psst. Come on. Get up.

Get up. Posse coming.

Come on. Get up.

Get goin'.

Come on. Hurry up now.

No, no. Let them take care of him.

- Whoa, horse. - Get the money.

I got the money.

- Hyah! - Hyah!

Well, the old Fox finally did it. Didn't he, Blackjack?

They gonna have themselves some kinda surprise

when they open up that big bag of what they think

is money and find out it all came from you.

Yes sir, handsome, we're on our way to Australia to spend a little of this 40,000

on the good life.

And there's only one place to catch that boat, and that's little old San Francisco.

Let's go.

Split at the fork.

We'll meet at the other side of the canyon.

All right, we got 'em off our back.

Let's get the money, divide it up and get outta here.

What the hell?

What's the matter? What is it?

Forty thousand dollars' worth of horse shit.

Why, that connivin' son of a bitch. Get him!

Where are we goin', Bloodworth?

San Francisco!

All right, all right! Hold it down! Hold it down!

And now, our eight little lasses from old Brittania...

the Piccadilly Pixies...

starring the one, the only...

Bluebird of Billingsgate!

Staying in town long?

She don't know you're alive.

She's just got a sense of humor, that's all.

Playin' a little game with me. Just watch.

Uh, pardon me, sir. Uh, pardon me, madam.

It, uh, so happens I read palms.

Maybe the little lady would like to know what's in her immediate future.

Go suck an egg.

I like that, what you said just then.

"Go suck an egg." That's very good. Very good.

Well, let him read it. Who knows? Maybe there's a spot in there for me.

That's right, stranger. Maybe there's room for all of us.

Oh! Look at that.

Look at that.

I can tell you right now, the little lady's got the longest lifeline I've ever seen.

Just look at this. I don't believe it.

Look at that line.