Mr. Leguignon Lampiste (Monsieur Leguignon, lampiste)

The case is closed. Verdict at 8 o'clock.

Bailiff, the next case.

Public prosecutor versus Leguignon.

What's your name?

Leguignon, Diogène Emile Ernest, my president.

Call me Your Honor.

Alright, Your Honor.

Occupation? - Many skills.

I have all skills.

No, no. I mean your job.

Ah, I'm a lamp-lighter for the railway.

I see you've appeared in court before.

For minor offenses. Too bad it's so often.

I'm an eternal victim.

In the police report about me,

you're described as a troublemaker, whiner, and hothead.

Depends on who you ask.

You're charged with slander and assault

on a court officer. Explain.

Well, Your Honor, it's all because of my joke...

No, no... What joke?

My wife. Mrs. Leguignon.

She wanted to eat a small piece.

I don't see the connection.

It's simple: the officers came to evict me.

I understand less and less.

Don't you have a lawyer?

Yes, but he's not here.

May I, Mr. Chairman?

Leguignon refused to comply with an eviction order.

His house blocks a road relocation, needed for public utility.

Great public utility, blow up my house!

We're not discussing city planning.

Leguignon wasn't on the street; another house was offered.

Let's discuss that.

A wooden shack on a vacant lot.

Between the gas factory and the garbage dump.

What a view.

You wouldn't even put your pig in it.

Leguignon, please.

Maybe Mr. Leguignon wants a fairy-tale palace with rooftop garden,

ponds, white elephants, and a harem.

A harem... I just don't want another chicken coop, that's all.

A harem. What would I do with a harem?

I'm happy with my little piece.

Forget the harem, let's get to Leguignon's pieces.

As he said, Leguignon refused to change the chicken coop.

I mean, to change his house.

And the police commissioner came with officers to evict him.

What does the piece have to do with it?

Explain, Leguignon.

Well, Your Honor.

The commissioner comes with his officers and says: Out, now!

One second, I said, let me put these pieces away, then I'm yours.

Do you realize what you said?

I didn't have time.

Then two guys grabbed me by the collar and pushed me down!

Nose in the pan.

What are you talking about? Which pan?

The pan with the pieces.

That was a huge pan.

They were small pieces.

But pieces take up space.

How many pieces in that pan?

There were two. My wife ate one, I ate one too.

I see now that you're accused of insulting a police officer.

Because I wanted to eat a piece? I see no insult there.

That explains it.

No, I understand.

You called an officer a piece,

a piece for an officer. I've lost track.

Should have brought an interpreter.

I mean, a lawyer.

Anyway, he assaulted a court officer.

I didn't assault him.

When I got up, I bumped him.

Barely.

Yet four officers were hurt.

You don't look like a strongman.

Of course not. I can't help it.

I'm telling what happened.

I got up, bumped one, he stepped back

onto the back of his friend behind him.

He jumped and with his elbow, bang!

Hit the head of the next. Knocked him out.

He fell against the commissioner's head.

It looked like dominoes. Four fell, two remained.

Silence.

Then you moved.

Couldn't, because the two still standing

took me gently.

I had to go and now I'm in jail.

I'd move if they'd release me.

Officer?

Counsel? Right, no lawyer present.

Hearing is closed.

Since the defendant used force against eviction officers,

considering no proof of intent,

considering eviction can only occur if not in custody,

we order his immediate release

and sentence him to the minimum fine of 16 francs.

The next case.

Sorry, I'm a bit late. I was held up.

It's fine, sir. Your client got the minimum sentence.

But I didn't plead.

A lower sentence is impossible. - Never mind, it's settled.

I was appointed, so I will plead for acquittal.

But that is your right, sir.

Go ahead.

Mr. Chairman, at all times, since early Antiquity,

people have tried to forget their hardships

in sleep where nothing remains.

But for complete relief from fatigue and worries...

from their loves. There is no wrong, however numerous,

that cannot be remedied.

And that is why, Mr. Chairman,

after this brief explanation of my client's situation,

I ask you to acquit him. That's all.

That's all? Are you finished? Do you have nothing more to add?

No, I have many arguments that prove his innocence,

but I don't want to take too much of your time.

But since you ask, the law...

We believe you. The hearing is closed.

Considering the new arguments presented,

I convert the 16-franc fine to 6 months in prison.

Suspended, as at least he is quiet.

The other cases are postponed 2 weeks.

The hearing is closed.

You missed a chance to take it easy.

Oh, don't make that face.

You were my first case.

For one lost case, ten won.

I am going to pack boxes. Goodbye and my friends.

Are you leaving now? - I must hurry.

I will come help you tomorrow.

Okay. - Then we'll discuss it.

I'd rather discuss other things.

And for those vocal cords...

Sorry, I'm a bit late.

As usual. It's better. Did you oil the lie machine?

I will help you.

This is the last trip. You may push.

Excuse me, gentlemen. Can you tell me the time?

Of course, sir. It is quarter past twelve.

Perfect.

I note that you should have left the house 15 minutes ago.

You are Mr. Leguignon, right?

Mr. Barbenbois, bailiff at the Seine court.

What a bastard. You could get hit.

Threat. Perfect, I note it.

Calm down. - You see...

Insults. Getting better all the time.

We leave immediately, Mr. Bailiff.

Can't you watch where you're going!

Come on, we have no time.

You're overtaking at an intersection.

I can testify for you.

Thank you.

No officer in sight.

I will find one for you.

Always the same. Issue fines, but when you need them,

they aren't there.

Hope you are insured.

Hello, tell me, is this the police station?

Two old men just collided.

What did you say?

Two men collided. Their bumpers are in the ditch.

Where?

Right opposite your office, at the intersection.

Is it serious? - I don't know. Come see.

We're coming,

They are coming. I ordered a battalion.

Are you insured for third parties? - No.

That's unfortunate. It will cost you a lot.

For repairing our cars.

Me? - You are responsible.

Are you not twisting the case?

Not at all. Your position left us no overview.

Wow, you have guts.

Who broke the alarm glass? - Me.

It costs 180 francs. - Why?

It bothers the police car.

It was for them. - Did you call?

Then pay 180 francs.

This goes too far.

With a receipt, social security will reimburse.

I'm not sick.

Handle it yourself. What's going on?

Tell my wife nothing about the accident.

There's that nasty Maltestu.

That jerk.

Hey there! Move your wheelbarrow further.

I want to park my car there.

I'm going. - No, we have the right.

Yes, but now I'm careful with cars.

So, will something happen?

Park further. We're in front of our house. This roof is ours.

It's your roof. Then I'll tell you something.

Your awning sticks out over my dividing wall.

Take it down by tomorrow, or I will file a complaint.