The Mad Phoenix (南海十三郎)

"A fair lady cries in silence.”

"She doesn't know where she is heading to."

"Hung-siu steals snow from a frozen river at night.”

Bravo.

This time, I will tell you a story of...

Mr. Thirteen.

Mr. Thirteen? Who is he?

What is he?

Thirty years ago, there was a night,

it was terribly cold and dark.

The telephone of the police station rang.

Listen carefully. This is an emergency call.

It was a robbery!

Just robbery? It's no big deal.

Hey, this is nothing particular nowadays,

but at that time, it's something very astonishing!

Stop interrupting!

Go on.

So, many policemen set out for the investigation.

They were all armed to carry out the duty.

PC228. go up and take a look.

Yes sir.

Who called the police?

Could someone be robbed in such place?

Speak up.

Who called the police?

I did it.

You called the police?

He stinks!

Yes, I did.

Are you robbed?

Sure.

What valuable thing of yours could be robbed?

A pair of shoes.

Who stole your shoes?

Two guys, but you dare not arrest them.

Are they superior? Don't you think we dare not arrest them?

The one who stole my left shoe is...

British.

The one who stole my right shoe is...

Japanese.

They stole all the shoes of Chinese.

So we can't even walk.

We have no way to go.

You nuts!

Which fool received the call of this insane guy?

It's me.

Sorry sir!

The whole unit came here to look for his shoes?

He called and talked to me in English.

That's why I thought he was a foreigner.

He speaks fluent English.

Nuts, what's your name?

Mind your words.

You son of the bitch!

Sir, he speaks English again!

Fluent English indeed.

Mister, what's your name?

Answer the officer, what's your name?

You are so ignorant!

My name contains of five Chinese characters.

"A Stupid Insane Crazy Guy", right?

Crazy?

Get him!

Pal, what's your name?

Please.

My name is...

"White Phoenix On Snow-capped Mountain".

This insane guy...

is somebody indeed.

He was a famous stage play writer 60 years ago.

He was famous for writing stage play of Cantonese opera.

His native place was Nanhai of Kwangtung Province.

His name was Kiang Yu-kou.

He was the thirteenth son of the family,

he named himself "Mr. Thirteen of Nanhai" as pen name.

Who was he? Why didn't I hear anything about him?

What was he? I haven't heard of his name.

Kid, when he was famous, you haven't reincarnated yet.

About the story of Mr. Thirteen, it's a very long one.

His family was a very complicated one.

His grandfather was a rich tea merchant.

His family was famous in Nanhai.

His dad went for government examination in the late Ching Dynasty.

And he was appointed as a junior provincial officer.

The villagers respected him so much and greeted him Sir.

Sir Kiang!

Sir Kiang had a weird outlook.

He was born in the year of Monkey, he looked like a monkey too.

He loved holding banquet to treat his friends.

Sir Kiang's snake soup was famous till now.

It's delicious! I tried that before.

The snake soup which named after Sir Kiang was so famous.

Food and sex are two human basic needs.

Sir Kiang was famous for his love affairs too.

He married...

12 wives.

But most of them were ugly.

And many were prostitutes before marrying him.

They always stayed together and sang.

Mr. Thirteen's mom was the sixth concubine of Sir Kiang.

Once she delivered Mr. Thirteen, she died!

So poor was he!

He was extremely naughty too.

I wanna beat you to death!

You bastard!

This day, he was kicked out from school again!

He said the headmaster beated the student, he avenged his friends.

He burnt the mosquito curtain of the headmaster.

Sir Kiang was so mad.

He wanted to send Mr. Thirteen to Hong Kong for further studies.

This kid had a sharp tongue.

We, the new generation supported the May 4th Movement.

What movement? What is it?

Many youngsters have speech in the streets.

Mothers, come and take a look with me.

Are you still bull shitting?

I wanna kill you!

Master, no! Don't hit him, master...

Don't stop me!

Mister Thirteen.

Do we have an opera performance tonight?

Yes, Li, Heung and

Lai will sing for us tonight.

Your 12th mom and I will play music too.

May I join you too?

None of your business.

I wish to watch the opera.

If you want to watch the opera, apologize first.

What fault have I made?

If you don't admit your fault, you can't watch the play.

Dad, it's my fault.

Dear father.

You make me sick.

Knees on the floor, you bastard!

I have had...

Had...

Seventeen.

No more?

I have had 17 children.

None of them is as disobedient as you!

But you can't tell which child

was given birth by which mom.

No?

Do you know the sex of your 14th children?

Dunno?

This is my elder brother, who is his mom?

I seldom see him!

Yes, who is my mom?

Am I right?

I want you to kneel in front of the ancestors till dawn.

No opera tonight.

If you don't let me watch the opera, I won't play chess with you.

Ale you negotiating with me?

You are always defeated by me.

You haven't found any way to solve my embattle yet.

Just admit to be the loser.

No way! I don't think I couldn't defeat you.

Well, come on.

May I give up two cannons for your sake?

No way! Fair race.

Time and tides wait for no man!

A decade passed.

Woo, time really flies!

Yes, time changed.

In 1903,

there was a charity ball held by the Hong Kong University Student Association.

All students were from rich families.

The gentlemen looked handsome.

The ladies were all pretty and decent looking.

Kiang!

How are you?

Not any lady of quality.

Kiang!

You love dancing too?

It's a game of the foreigner.

I haven't mentioned that I come for dancing.

I could dance but I don't want to dance.

Which girl you are falling for? I'll introduce her to you.

Liu,

I can't imagine that you are so cheap.

Ladida, if you don't want to court girl, why do you come here?

I come here to study life!

This place looks prosperous and pretty.

Say, when you are staying in such place,

how can one see the fear and threats of China?

How can you feel the hidden worries of the Chinese?

See, how much have been wasted for this party?

How much man power is wasted too?

What for?

They just want to take this chance to show off.

To fight for fame!

Pretty woman!

Not any lady is of quality!

Now, our country is facing internal and external threats.

There are so few ladies of quality in China.

We want to fight for democracy and freedom.

What am I bull shitting?

She is my ideal fairy.

This is my ideal fairy.