Dark Horse (Voksne Mennesker) (Voksne mennesker)

1. DANIEL vs. THE SYSTEM

Excuse me. Room 573 C, please? - Let's see...

When you mention A-level taxing and B-level taxing...

You've already lost me. My mind just goes black -

and I don't want to live anymore.

That sounds... Not quite normal.

According to us, you've earned only 7 dollars for the past 4 years.

The entire period. - Hold on, hold on...

What are we talking about: A- level or B-level taxing?

It depends on how you earned those 7 dollars.

I can't recall... Once, I had one of those temporary jobs.

Where?

In the North-West area, I think. But I'm not quite sure...

It was early and I was there only for like half an hour.

For crying out loud, Daniel...

How do you explain a total lack of income for the past 4 years?

I dated a supermodel for a while and she was loaded.

That piece of information won't help your current situation.

You have two weeks to get a job, set up a bank account...

And start paying your debts.

Impossible, I can't have my ID number lying around.

Because they'll take away all my money.

Who are "they"? - Everybody...

The post service, the railways, parking people, the tax office...

They're all just waiting in line.

Jan, come down for a sec.

Let's just get this straight... I owe 7 dollars, right?

No...

You've earned 7 dollars.

That's more like it. What the hell are you doing?

The arrow said no left turns. - Really?

I took it the other way around but I'm kind of dyslexic anyway.

Here name is Josephine. - J-O-S-E-F...

No, it's -PH, not -F. - Joseph Hine?

Actually, it's Jose-PH-ine. - What's the -H doing there?

That's just her name. - Okay, I'll take care of it.

You're sure about this: Josep-hine - Josephine?

You'll do a proper job, I mean... No mumbo jumbo, right?

None whatsoever.

Hi.

This car is illegally parked. You know that, don't you?

Be a good boy and move it or else you get a ticket.

You have every right to give me a ticket.

Just move it and we won't bother. - Just give me the ticket...

It should teach us a lesson.

If you insist. - Yes, please.

Great, thanks. Have a nice day. - Thank you, too. Bye, bye.

You got one of these. - Jesus Christ, Grandpa!

You were supposed to wait in the car -

- to prevent shit like this from happening.

These were two civil psychopaths. They were on amphetamines!

I swear!

2. HALLUCINATIONS

What can I get you?

One Wednesday's Donut... - It's Monday.

One Monday's Donut, then. - It doesn't exist.

That's the whole point, Daniel. Wednesday is a special day...

Because on that particular day, they have the Wednesday Donut.

They don't have Donuts for the rest of the week?

Yes, but it's a normal Donut. - Two of those, then!

And a chocolate milk and a raspberry pie.

Also raspberry pie? - Yes.

How about a fiber bun? - What?

How about a fiber bun instead of a raspberry pie?

What's wrong with a pie? Even on a Monday, they must have...

It just doesn't look impressive if the cute bakery girl is at work -

- and I walk into the bakery and start buying sweets.

I didn't know you were planning to score the bakery girl.

Go buy the fiber bun so you and her can go waltzing -

- out of the bakery hand in hand and...

Buy your pastry yourself! - I'm broke.

Why do I have to pay for everything and listen to your shit?

Why are we even friends? - Relax. No existential crisis.

Don't slam the...

I love you.

What the...?

Where the fuck are you going?

Morning.

Can you spare me a few coins until tomorrow?

I'll have two Donuts, then... and a raspberry pie.

No, don't crawl away...

Are you stoned?

Do you have white bread? I'll have half a loaf -

if it isn't to dry. And...

Don't tell me to shut up...

Maybe she just can't tolerate the bright lights in your bakery.

You're pushing it, young man...!

You're going way too fast.

I can't go any slower. What's up, Daniel?

Hi, Skuli.

Can I tempt you with a croissant? - No, thanks.

What are you doing in my trailer? - My trailer? My trailer, Daniel?

You rent it out to me, don't you? - That's our problem in a nutshell.

I like artists, Daniel. That's not the problem.

I enjoy culture just as much as the next guy.

But I'm not the Arts Council.

You have to clean up your act because this is going nowhere.

Shall we say Monday and call it a deadline, eh?

That's settled, then.

3. GUINEA PIGS

My condition isn't normal. - No, that's obvious.

Not at home and not at work.

My wife has been very patient but everything has its limits.

I suggest a nocturnal monitoring. - How does it work?

A nocturnal monitoring is a polysomnography.

You sleep at the clinic and we record 15 different activities:

Everything from snoring to brain wave activity and...

Other sleep related events. - Brain activity, eh?

Precisely. That way we can see how much you sleep.

Excellent, I suggest that you go over to Grandpa and get started.

Grandpa? - Yes, that's what we call him.

Put this little hat on, it holds everything together.

Hold your head still.

Hi, Tejs. - Hi, Grandpa.

How are you doing? - I'm OK.

I'm fine too, since you asked. - Excuse me?

I thought you asked how I was doing. - No, I didn't.

I apologize. - That's alright.

It won't happen again, I promise.

You look kind of cheerful... - That's because I am cheerful.

Everything is going my way. - You got laid, or what?

Are you a referee now?

Yes, in theory. I've just passed the theory exam and...

Received the official folder of The Danish Soccer Federation.

Wow, cool.

Now I only have to pass the practical exam.

My theory-teacher worships me.

He says that I've got all the right ingredients.

And what's that? - Highly developed moral strength...

The ability to tell right from wrong, in a split second.

Now all I need is authority...

The ability to deal with intense situations and verbal abuse.

What about physical condition? - I must be in shape, alright.

But as my teacher says:

"Good physical condition is total condition".

I would just like to introduce you to the new guinea pigs.

They come all the way from Norway. - Greetings!

They're participating in our new sleep research project.

You are in good hands with these two guys.

They will make sure that all goes smoothly and painlessly.

You will be accommodated soon and Grandpa will make sure -

- that everything goes according to plan. Right, Grandpa?

Grandpa? - That's what we call him.

His real name is...

What is your real name? - Roger.

Out here and to the right. - Come, we don't have all day!

Come on, Daniel.

You're offside! - I'm not offside!

The linesman had his flag up so stop acting like an idiot.

Free kick!

I thought that I was offside? - No, you get a free kick.

Take it over here.

Why can't we just play football... - Don't be a spoil sport.

It's football. Fun. Fairplay. - No fun playing on your own.

Shut up.

What now... Free kick? - An indirect free kick.

You must pass the ball. - To whom?

He's standing over there. Over there, God damnit!

No, it's a direct free kick. - No, it's indirect...!

A double red card to you and he gets a yellow card!

Where are you going?

It's not allowed to leave the field before I blow the whistle.

Just a little pause.

I can't both play the match and judge it.

Blow the final whistle, then. You have to practice that, too.

4. TACTICS

Is something wrong? - No, nothing in particular.

Come on, you can tell Grandpa.

Do you remember that girl in the bakery?

Do I remember her? Of course I do.

Daniel, she's mine! - What are you talking about?

Did you touch the Bakery Girl? - No...

Unbelievable! You've scored her! - I never...

I was there first. - You were there first?

I planted the seeds, then you come along and steal the harvest.

You ran away. Girls don't fall for that.

Are you criticizing my tactics? They may not be mainstream but...

I still deserve the same respect as anybody else.

She told me that she loved me.

She did? Well, she was on drugs. Psychedelic mushrooms, Grandpa.

She was on drugs? - Yeah.

This is too humiliating... - Take it easy. Nothing happened.

She got ill, I drove her home. That's it, end of glory.

You promise? - Of course. What else...

Ok, I believe you. By the way, it's end of story, not glory.

I hope we're speaking of the same thing.

Can I help you?

Excuse me, how do you run the shifts in this bakery?

Run the shifts? - Yes...

How do you divide the shifts, you and the other girl?

What are you talking about? - Just forget about it.

Keep the flowers.

Hi.

Oh, God. Hi. Aren't you... Jakob?

I don't think we've met before.

Are you sure about that? - I think so.

Well, how can I help you?

Isn't there supposed to be a girl living here?

Am I too old for you? - No, no. On the contrary.

I just thought that an even younger woman lived here too.