The Shrink Next Door

What am I supposed to be feeling right now?

Extreme relaxation.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Going through a tough time at the moment.

Some stuff going on with my brother and--

It helps if you stop speaking.

Right, right.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen either.

We both have done things we shouldn't have,

and I'll admit I'm not innocent in all this.

Do you think I should call him or wait for him to call me?

-Sorry, did you ask me a question? -Can you get off my mat?

Oh, sorry. Yeah, sorry.

So I called him.

Sometimes you have to be the bigger person, you know?

I would have preferred for him to call me, but, what can I say?

I'm a great fucking human being, so sue me.

Besides, it's my birthday tomorrow. What's he gonna do, ignore it?

Don't fuck me on the fixings, Ray. It's been a long day.

Say hi to the people at home.

-Ike, can you put that thing down. -You're doing great.

-No, I'm so thirsty. -I got it. I got it. Here, here.

All right, deep breath.

Your ice chips, madame?

You're lucky to have such a supportive partner.

You women are warriors.

I think we're ready to push.

Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.

-Baby's crowning. -Wait. Hold on, hold on.

-Keep pushing. -Hold on.

-Not yet, not yet! -Ike, put that fucking thing down!

-Keep pushing. Keep pushing. -Ike!

-You're doing great. I'll be here. Push. -There we go!

Push. I gotta focus.

One more push! One more push!

There we go.

You did it! It's a boy! It's a boy!

Actually, that's the umbilical cord.

This would be a girl.

-It's a girl. -Yes, good girl.

-It's a girl. -And-- Yeah--

-It's a girl. -And she brought a friend.

What?

I've got news for you, Mom and Dad. Your work's not done here.

-You're having twins. -Twins?

-Double the joy. -Yes, twins.

Now, Bonnie, come on, I need you to--

-Yes, Bonnie. -No, no, no, no, no, no.

-Yeah-- Twin-- Oh, my-- -No!

So Cathy was giving me sass, saying,

"Marty, I gave you the purchase orders to sign."

And I remember what you said, so I pushed back.

And I said, "Really, Cath?

Because I know for a fact that you didn't because I would have signed them.

So, can you please go check again?"

So, she goes back to her desk,

and there sitting on her desk underneath a pile of old Peoples--

Dr. Ike.

Dr. Ike.

No, no, I--

A pile of old people. Continue.

-Are you all right? -Marty, forgive me. I'm sorry. I--

I haven't been getting much sleep.

Who could blame you with twin baby girls at home? What's that like?

Are you comfortable with me cursing in our session?

-Please. -Good.

Because it's the fucking best, Marty.

Fatherhood is… indescribable.

You have to experience it for yourself.

I mean it. Have you ever thought about being a dad?

Me? No, I don't know.

I mean, I really love being an uncle.

Loved.

Marty, what do you want your legacy to be?

My legacy?

Gosh. I--

I've never really thought about it.

Well, to be honest, before the girls, neither had I.

But when a man looks into the eyes of his children for the first time,

he becomes painfully aware of his own mortality.

You feel this…

this urgency to make sure you leave the world

a better place than the one you found.

That's really beautiful, Ike.

Have you ever been in love?

I don't know. Does anyone really know?

Yeah. Yes, they do.

Well, then I guess I would have to say no.

Can't say that I have. Maybe starting a family is not my legacy.

Marty, listen to me. Your legacy is yet to be written.

There's plenty of time for that. You need to find the right person.

Or, if not, there are plenty of other ways to leave your mark on this world.

I guess.

If it were me and I had your… assets.

I'd give back.

-To? -Others. The world.

Start a foundation or something.

I mean, think of how amazing that must feel.

I've been thinking a lot about you and your…

your considerable means since the whole Phyllis affair.

I'll be honest, I don't think that is behind me.

I feel terrible about the way it all ended.

We've talked about this.

Phyllis was toxic. She robbed you.

She violated a lifetime of trust.

You did the right thing by cutting her out of your life.

But look, enough about the past. Let's look to the future.

Maybe starting a foundation

is the exact kind of distraction you need right now.

Use your money to help the world. What a legacy that would be.

Look, I love the sound of what you're saying.

I really do.

I just-- I wouldn't know where to begin, how to start something like that.

It's not that complicated, actually. In fact, they make it fairly easy.

I'm planning on starting one myself

once I have a little more money squirreled away.

Maybe we could start one together.

-You and me? -Why not?

We work well together, don't we?

We do.

-We really do. -Yeah.

So let's do it. You know?

Be a force for good.

Make a legacy.

All righty. Your 501(c)(3) status is approved,

and your account is now open.

Did you gentleman want to make an initial deposit today?

Indeed, we did. 165,000 shekels.

-Ever seen a check that big? -I work in the bank.

-Right, no. Of course. Yeah. -Yeah.

I'm making the initial investment.

I'll be giving as we go.

Yeah, I'm the bachelor here, so I'm sitting on a little more cash.

This guy just had twins. New dad alert.

Oh, brother, I tell you.

-Twin poop machines. -You want a hot stock tip?

Buy shares in Pampers.

Understood. But if you both are to be cosigners on the account,

you both need to invest something at the start.

It could be anything.

Hey, yeah.

Of course.

Like… 5,000?

Anything.

-2,000? -Sure.

2,500.

Best and final.

Sir, you're negotiating with yourself. Anything is fine.

2,500. Yeah, it's good with me, really.

My assets are a bit illiquid at the moment,

but I promise I'll double this contribution

in the very near future.

I'll double it, Marty.

Dr. Ike, it's fine. I know you'll double it.

Well, 2,500 it is.

To be doubled.

You gentleman each want check signing authority, is that correct?

Absolutely, yes. Yes, this is a 50/50 partnership.

I'll get the checkbook.

You know that I wish I had more to contribute, Marty.

You know that, right?

What you've given me cannot be calculated in a bank ledger.

Joe, are you back there?

Ike and I have some priceless heirlooms we need enshrined for posterity.

Hey, can I help you guys?

Sorry. I was expecting Joe.

I'm Hannah. Joe's my neighbor.

I just started working here. Are you and Joe friends?

Not really. I buy frames from him.

Right. Well, that would make sense.

That is sort of our whole deal here.

Yeah.

I'm Marty.

-I'm Hannah. -You already said that.

Sorry.

I'm Marty. There, we're even.

Thank you.

That's nice. Okay.

-So, Marty, what… -Yes.

-What can I do for you? -Nothing fancy,

just have this 8-by-10 document framed alongside these two receipts.

Maybe a one or two-inch black matte against a 3/4 inch cherry wood frame?

My, you really know your stuff.

You live long enough,

you pick up a few things about reverse molding and shadow boxes.

No, now, come on. You clearly have a good eye.

-Me? -Yeah, you.

No, you're the one with the good eye.

Eyes, two eyes.

The regular number of nice eyes.

The…

appropriate quota of ocular spheres.

Thank you, I think.

Yeah.

Okay, so, it should just be a couple of days.

-Come back, see me on Thursday. -Thursday, all right.

-Thursday. Yeah. My favorite day. -Thursday.

AKA Thor's day. After the Norse god of thunder.

-Thor. -Yes.

Of course, yes.