The Favor

mommy? do dead people swallow?

Huh?

Well?

Do they?

Huh?

No.

Then what do they do with the water in their mouth?

They stop getting water in their mouths.

Why?

don't wake daddy.

daddy's awake.

It's Saturday, honey. Go back to sleep.

Daddy, daddy, they don't let you be a pilot if you wear glasses!

oh, Hannah!

Ollie, off!

Come on. Off the bed, Ollie. Off!

I've been playing handball with quadratic equations all night.

Yeah? who won?

I better get this article finished,

or I am never going to get a good night's sleep.

I'm workin' at school today.

No, no, no, you've got the kids till 2:00.

I got my museum class, then I got to drop off

the payroll at al's donut hole.

I want cinnamon... No, sugar!

white ones!

No, no, no donuts for you little porkers.

Oink! Oink!

honey, uh, make my cruller with white icing.

2 minutes.

it's not fair!

Is this fair?

Yes! yes!

Ok, what do you want for breakfast?

I'm dead.

Well, that's easy.

Look carefully at the way rubens

uses pinks and whites in his women.

They have the alabaster cast of a statue

with just enough rosy shades

to make them eminently approachable.

All I know is, they make me feel thin.

And of course, the famous red hair.

Most art historians believe this was the color of his mistress' hair.

She was one of his favorite and most...

Emily, are we listing lovers or acquaintances?

You're done?

Well, I've been married for 10 years.

What do you want from me?

Didn't you go to college?

Yeah, but...

Ha. "one-night stand, handsome, great in bed."

And you regretted it?

Oh, him. He asked me to bring a friend next time.

And you can't remember his name?

listen, when you've had over...

The names get a little fuzzy.

Oh, god!

"jean-Claude." oh, is this the guy in Saint Martin?

Yeah. you spent the weekend in the Caribbean

and didn't I go to, uh, marineland?

You came home with a plastic shark.

I came home with crabs.

[Museum docent clearing throat]

And now, if you ladies will follow me.

This French sculpture is from the 20th century

and by Edmond Louise Colette.

This sculpture epitomizes the art movement

from art nouveau to art deco.

Who was the best, and why?

There's an emphasis on the simple lines...

Howard.

Because he just adored sex and couldn't get enough?

Because we were in love.

I've done that.

Oh, listen to you.

It must be hell being in a great marriage.

It is when you've been invited to your 15th high school reunion

and it kicks off wild sexual fantasies about your first love.

Old numero uno, Robert?

No! Tommy and i never did it.

We did everything but for 2 years.

What?

Hey, you're from the coast.

In Ohio, you don't do it. I was saving it.

For who? Robert hornswath?

Evidently.

So, are you going?

I don't know. I haven't seen him in 15 years.

He lives in Denver now.

Probably wouldn't even be there.

Can you recover from a face-lift in 5 months?

Is this something we are going to worry about

or something we're going to have fun with?

Well, you'll have fun.

I know I'm never going to hear the end of it now.

Oh, Emily, what is the matter with me?

Every day, I fantasize about jumping on a plane to Denver,

finding Tommy, and screwing him silly!

Pardon me.

oh, what do you think of this?

god, that's disgusting, mom.

Peter?

Hmm?

hmm.

Oh, now, what do you think of this one?

That's more Emily.

Hey, you know, bookkeepers can be chic. Peter?

Oh.

yeah, she's not wearing a bra.

Can I see that, please?

No.

Uh, bedtime, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Bedtime.

Tomorrow's my birthday! Well, I know it's your birthday.

And your daddy and I have a lot of getting ready to do for your birthday.

Bedtime. i don't want to go to bed.

you never want to go to bed.

Good night, daddy!

Good night, sweetie. I'll be up in a minute.

brush your teeth.

ok.

You dropped those.

I know that tune.

Ah.

Can we do it without kissing?

Sure. oh, yeah. Come here.

Can we do it without moving?

I'm exhausted.

Oh. good. Me, too. I thought you wanted to.

Not me. How about you?

We can do it tomorrow. Yeah.

Nope.

After Gina's party, i doubt it.

Monday.

Department meeting. Goes late.

Tuesday.

Yeah, let's shoot for Tuesday.

That was nice.

It's always nice.

Lipstick. yeah.

Where are you going?

To do my taxes and learn Spanish.

I need to sleep, Elliott.

You can sleep here, you know.

No, I can't. You're always drawing me.

Well, you waste a lot of time sleeping.

I like sleeping.

It makes the years go by faster.

That's a lousy attitude for a woman barely past 30,

everything ahead of her.

35 more years of finding the perfect piece of culture

for over Mrs. konzulman's sectional, unmarred by love or family.

Well, leave me if you must,

but if you're still going to check out that Denver gallery on Friday,

I'd like to see you tomorrow sometime.

Can't tomorrow.

Tomorrow's my goddaughter's birthday party.

I like birthday parties.

no. you're not invited.

Are you saying you're ashamed of me?

Everyone there is bringing their children.

I'll be dating one.

Yes.

Um, I'm 26.

I don't know why you're pressing this.

You'll just get bored and wanna leave.

With pin the tail on the donkey? No way.

All right. Come.

I will. Thank you.

Elliott!

Hmm?

I can't believe you used my lipstick.

This is going to cost me $100.

$100 for a lipstick?

No, a trip to the cosmetic counter.

Right.

Is everybody having fun?

He's cute.

Where's my hat?

right there!

Have you seen my hat?

Right there!

I'm going to get another, uh, apple juice.

Oh, and he's got a special birthday hat for you!

there you go!

And he's got something for you!