Ground Floor

All right, people, this is it.

In 72 hours,

I get to watch my eldest daughter get married

on a private island known only to tax evaders, yacht captains,

and sea turtles.

I'm so excited.

Thank you so much for the plus one.

You got a plus one?

Did everyone get a plus one? Because I did not.

Well, i-in fairness, you are chronically single,

and I just figured you wouldn't have anyone to bring,

and I didn't want to embarrass you.

Thank you, sir. This is much less embarrassing.

This time tomorrow,

I'll be in a tropical paradise surrounded by the ones I love.

It's going to be, well, perfect.

Ooh. Who's there?

Brody. - Brody who?

Brody who...

got caught in a joke he didn't mean to start.

I'm not following this at all.

Well, I knocked for good luck

because you said it was gonna be perfect.

I don't believe in luck. I-I make my own luck.

But that sign says "Lucky." - Yes.

And I made that sign.

Mr. Mansfield, look, your island's on the news.

Is that a volcano?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

They've been making noise

about that volcano erupting for years.

They'll be talking about it for another thousand.

And there she blows!

See? That's why I always knock wood.

Yes, I see your point.

Because that's just exactly how tectonic plates work.

A man knocks on a table in San Francisco,

and the vibrations calm a distant volcano.

Hell, if only the ancient Romans had had that science,

I'd be having the wedding in Pompeii.

Change this goddamn sign.

Thank you. It's here, you guys!

The most expensive thing I've ever gotten in the mail.

I even got insurance for it.

Now even mail needs insurance?

Ha ha. Thanks, Obama.

It's Brody's birthday present.

I've never gotten him a real present before,

and now I finally did, and it's perfect!

Is it inside the pen?

No. It is the pen.

This is a Duxbury phase one pen,

and I'm not even gonna tell you how much it cost.

$300.

Does it write in dragon's blood?

No.

I mean, maybe. I don't know.

Well, who buys pens anymore?

Pens are free down here, okay?

Just like the laptops.

You can take as many as you like.

They gonna keep bringing more.

That's why I got Mansfield's daughter

three of them for her wedding.

How did you even get invited?

Look, if you don't want me to come to the party,

don't put me in charge of the invitations, okay?

Lindsay just texted me.

Mansfield's island just sank.

Thanks, Obama.

Ah, Ms. Harris.

Do you know any good travel agents?

Uh, let me just get in my time machine

and set it to "When travel agents were a thing."

That's very funny, Ms. Harris.

Uh, let me set your rewards

to "You are my new travel agent."

My wife always does our travel planning,

but she is stuck in a plane

circling over the world's largest bowl of turtle soup.

What do you need?

400 rooms, world-class entertainment, and food.

The perfect place for a last-minute wedding.

Did somebody say Vegas?

No, Mr. Wen,

but I do appreciate you using my daughter's wedding

as a chance for you to live out your fantasy

of hooking up with a tipsy midwestern divorcee

by the pai gow table who "Never does this kind of thing."

Pai gow. Thank you, sir.

This whole time I've been trolling Keno.

Okay, so, I know it's not your actual birthday,

but I got you a present.

What would you want more

than anything in the whole world?

Uh...Heather. - Your ex-girlfriend?

I mean, she's cute, but I'm -- I'm not into that.

No, no, no. Look!

I'm back, everybody! Ha ha!

There they are!

Hey, heather. - I thought you were gone forever.

Shouldn't you be running the Hong Kong office?

You know, doing the job I turned down?

Oh, that was nine months ago. I'm done.

And you know what's funny?

If you had taken that job,

you would have gotten a promotion and be back by now.

That is funny. That's so funny.

Oh, it was the best nine months of my life.

I doubled our first-year projections.

And now it sounds like I'm bragging, which I'm not.

I'm just trying to be honest

about how hard I crushed it because I crushed it hard!

Yeah, well, uh, Brody's been crushing it

pretty darn hard here, too. Right, hon?

Oh, yeah, yeah. So hard.

I mean, I got my desk back.

And, uh...Uh... Put this in a frame.

Oh. So... Um...

Oh! I'm on the partnership track.

I made partner when I took over the Hong Kong office.

Because I crushed it so hard.

Man, this just keeps getting funnier.

Of course, work isn't everything.

I mean, look at you two! Engaged.

Well, technically --

Never. - No.

Living together?

Pretty much. I mean, like --

Like roommates. - Not -- more like roommates.

Oh. Ha ha. Sounds like you've got it all figured out.

Well, I got you a little something for your birthday.

And don't get excited. It's really nothing.

A Duxbury phase two pen?

I've always wanted one of these.

Apparently, it makes the old phase one pen

look like a stick of garbage.

I'm gonna go get settled.

It was really great seeing you two.

Hey, welcome back, Heather.

Hey, Heather.

Oh, hey, Kyle.

Uh, Threepeat.

The last time you were here,

we got into this dynamic

where you kind of made me my assistant,

and it wasn't great for me.

And now you're sitting at my desk.

oh, my god. I am so sorry.

you must hate me. - Nah. It's bygones.

Oh, could you get that?

Sure. Hello?

It's Ms. Chen for you?

Ugh, take a message.

Miss Doyle is unavailable.

Actually, I have her calendar right here.

The 7th is going to be tight. Let's do dinner on the 8th. Great.

You know, my mom's birthday's coming up.

Can you get her something nice?

She loves pink. - I remember.

It's happening again.

So, I have to ask you something,

And I know it won't be easy to answer. - Yes.

If you had gone to Hong Kong instead of Heather,

you would be a partner right now.

But there's no use looking behind

at the terrible choices you've made.

Better to look forward at the consequences

of the terrible choices you've made.

Don't give it a second thought.

I have something much more important in mind for you.

I need someone I trust to hang on to some wedding essentials.

There is, of course, the -- the marriage license,

a hard drive with a tear-jerking photo montage

of my daughter growing up --

There's a photo in there of her in her first Halloween costume.

She was a little sunflower.

I swore I wasn't gonna cry.

And now she's getting married.

Well, you son of a bitch,

you didn't have to bring that up!

And of course, the ring.

I was expecting a little more blinding.

Now, Ms. Harris has booked us into a resort in the Alps.

She's switched all our airline flights.

There's nothing that can stop us now.

Sir, there's been an avalanche at the resort.

I asked about the lodge.

My German isn't great,

but I believe the expression they used

was "Eaten by the mountain."

Damn it. All right, new destination.

N-no more islands, no more mountains.

I need something that's hot, flat, and dry.

Vegas!

No.

Okay.

Hey, beardmuffin.

So, change of plans. No more Alps.

Apparently, Mansfield is taking us