Young Sheldon

Guess what? I'm buying a Laundromat.

So, there's a secret back room

at the Laundromat where you gamble?

Give me a sense of how illegal this is.

Who says it's illegal?

Well, why is it a secret?

Okay, it's illegal.

What do you know about these backroom slot machine places?

We look the other way.

What's going on?

Are you Connie Tucker?

Well, this sucks.

In astronomy,

a syzygy is a rare event

when three or more celestial bodies line up.

You may also know it as the stars aligning,

which was probably coined

by someone who couldn't spell "syzygy."

If you want to win Scrabble, remember this bad boy.

My father's idea of the stars aligning

was having the house completely to himself.

I was at school, Missy was at a friend's,

Georgie was working,

and my mother was on her way to a church retreat.

For my father,

it was sweet, Southern syzygy.

S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y. Syzygy.

Balls.

Hey, Billy. Sheldon's not here.

-Is Missy? -Nope.

Good. I need to talk to you alone.

Balls.

You mind if I watch the game while we talk?

-That's fine. -So, what's up?

I would like your permission to ask out Missy.

-Really? -Yeah.

Okay. Uh...

Well, I appreciate you coming to me.

I wanted to do this the right way.

Uh-huh.

You know, Billy, this sounds like a big step.

I'm not sure Missy's really ready for dating yet.

She went out with Marcus from school.

They went to the movies.

Yeah, that is... meaningful.

But they broke up, so now's my chance.

Does Missy know anything about this?

-No. -Great.

Let's build on that.

You don't want to be the rebound guy.

What's that?

That's the guy after the guy she really liked

and before the next guy she really likes.

-What? -You and Missy are friends.

You go to school together.

That could make things complicated

if it doesn't go well.

-I didn't think about that. -If she turns you down,

you're gonna have to see her all the time.

But if it goes right, I get to see her all the time.

I just think you ought to take a minute

and figure out if it's really worth it.

Hmm. I-It's like football.

You can go for it on fourth down on your own 20-yard line,

but if you don't make it, it's game over.

You're not just a football coach.

You're a coach of life.

You probably think of quantum physics

as a white-knuckle rush of adrenaline,

like the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland.

But the reality can be a little less exciting,

especially when you're stuck.

We'll get this.

Perhaps a set of fresh eyes could be helpful.

If you're going to suggest Dr. Sturgis,

I should remind you we have a complicated history.

And your graviton research is mediocre at best!

You're not qualified

-to judge my work. -All right, that's it.

We'll get this.

Hey. You ready for dinner?

Do I look ready?

No.

How was your day, dear?

Well, I ran out of quarters.

Then I had to break up a fight over a dryer sheet.

Then washer number three overflowed again.

Oh. Well, I had a nice day.

I got to pet a horse.

Come on, let me take you to dinner.

Dinner's not gonna fix this mess.

Yeah, I was counting on margaritas

to do the heavy lifting.

This is not what I signed up for.

I need to get some help in here.

Well, so, do it.

Great. I'm taking Georgie.

Georgie? No, he's my best employee.

-He's my grandson. -Well, so what?

Sheldon's the smart one. Take him.

Do you want to go out with somebody who's happy and fun

or some cranky, old woman who smells like mop?

All right. All right. Take Georgie.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go get myself fixed up.

I think you look beautiful just the way you are.

-Go to hell. -Okay.

-Triplets left, man in motion. -Play action.

-Here comes a pass. -He's got Jefferies deep.

-And that'll move the chains. -See there?

Now I know where Sheldon gets his brains from.

Congratulations.

You're the only person to ever say that.

What's gonna happen next?

You gonna get me a beer.

Yes, sir.

I'm home.

In here.

Watching the game with Billy.

Do you have the number where Mom's staying?

Everything okay?

I need help navigating a situation with Dr. Linkletter.

You should ask your dad. He's really smart.

You're the first person who's ever said that.

Yeah, try me. I might surprise you.

Dr. Linkletter and I are stuck on a science problem.

I know Dr. Sturgis could help,

but I'm hesitant to suggest that

because I know they have a professional rivalry.

Well, the way I see it,

y'all are on Team Science, right?

I suppose.

And people on the same team don't have to get along

-to work together. -Like you and Mom.

No.

A quarterback and his receivers.

He doesn't throw it to the guy he likes best.

He throws it to the one that's open.

-So smart. -So, I should ask Dr. Sturgis

what he thinks about the dark matter

being a Bose condensate?

Do you want Team Science to win?

Thank you. This has been helpful.

What's a Bose condensate?

I'll tell you at halftime.

You fancy yourself a bit of an entrepreneur, don't you?

I like to think so.

And now that you're not in school anymore,

I bet you're wanting to take your career to the next level.

What kind of entrepreneur would I be if I didn't?

Well, this is your lucky day,

because I have quite the opportunity.

How would you like to manage a business all on your own?

That'd be amazing.

Be your own boss. Call the shots.

Hell, yeah. What is it?

Managing a Laundromat.

No way.

Oh, now, come on. You're perfect for this.

I'm a salesman.

There's nothing there to sell.

You got a bunch of bored people

with their pockets full of quarters,

you can't sell them something?

Then you're not the entrepreneur I thought you were.

That ain't gonna work on me.

And this is why you're management material.

Nice try.

The place is wall-to-wall girls.

Why didn't you lead with that?

My brother went to the Laundromat,

excited to meet the female customer base

my meemaw had promised.

You said "girls."

They were girls once.

Not in this century.

Listen, I need you to help me with this.

I don't want to run this dump.

Then why'd you buy it?

I'm retired.

I thought it might be fun, get me out of the house.

And you picked a Laundromat?

It seemed like a better opportunity

at the moment.

What happened? You get tricked by a con man?

No.

It's all right. Happens to a lot of people your age.

Come with me.

Hey, uh, how's bachelor life treating you?

Good.

Mary makes this parenting thing seem hard.

I'm great at it.

So, you finally gave it a shot.

Good for you.

Make your jokes, but I'm even helping out

-kids that aren't mine. -Really?

Billy Sparks got a little crush on Missy.

Uh-oh.

-Danger zone. -What?

Why?