Something Is Crawling in the Dark (Qualcosa Striscia Nel Buio)

Helen certainly picked a great night to unveil her new nose.

Helen's my best friend.

I hope she looks like a rhinoceros!

I can't see a damn thing in this storm.

Don't drive too fast.

Plastic surgery!

She could've sent us a photo instead

of inviting us to one of her stupid parties.

Don't tell me you'd have preferred to stay at home...

Wallowing in our pleasant marriage!

You're fantastic! Finally, something we agree on.

Anyway, going out on a night like this proves one thing...

We've escaped from an asylum!

'Something Creeping in the Dark'

But, honey, you could've told me you didn't want to go!

Don't make me laugh! Of course I could have...

But to who? The servant?

The road is slippery.

I'm warning you, Sam, we can't lose him.

It must be another one of Helen's guests...

All of them distinguished by a special virtue.

Keep your comments to yourself, they're not even funny.

Another candidate for a suicide!

Why don't they use gas? It's cheaper.

Stop, or I'll shoot!

You wouldn't want to blow your chances

of promotion, would you, Inspector?

Don't push me, Spike...

I would just love not having to bother you with a trial.

So I have a choice! A bullet in my head, or a rope around my neck?

Sam, turn the car around, we're going back.

You're on the ball Spike. You're educated...

You always know when to deliver the punchline.

You'd be an interesting subject for those crazy psychoanalysts...

But for me you're nothing but an asshole and a dirty murderer!

Relax! I promise I'll behave.

At least for now.

Get rid of that cigarette.

And don't kid yourself, your career is over.

Really?

You know, Inspector, you never can tell.

Signal with the headlights.

You get in the car!

What the hell are they doing?

You'd better slow down, probably an accident.

If it's one of those nuts

from before then I'm going to enjoy this.

I'm a police Inspector. I'm afraid you'll have to turn back.

How come?

You have to turn back, the bridge has collapsed.

An accident? -No, nothing.

You'll have to find another route, I'll follow you back.

Can I smoke? -No.

If I'm not mistaken, there's another

bridge before we reach the city.

Want to bet, Inspector?

Your Helen's going to be waiting quite a while...

Her nose might grow even longer while she's waiting!

Don't get your hopes up!

We'll take a longer route, but we'll get there!

That's one thing you can't keep me from doing, darling; hoping!

Stop.

What's happening? I'm in a hurry! Let me pass.

Impossible. The bridge has been washed away.

That's impossible!

I have to perform an urgent operation.

It's a matter of life or death!

Then get moving, you can take the other road.

It's all flooded back there, even the road is completely underwater.

You're Inspector Wright, aren't you?

I must find a way to the hospital! -Can't you radio for help?

It's true! What are you waiting for?

Unfortunately, that's my private car,

it's not equipped with a radio.

Aren't there any houses around here?

I was just about to say...

Not far from the bridge, I noticed a house with illuminated windows...

It might be an idea.

The important thing is if they have a telephone...

I'm also in a hurry, Doctor.

How do you know me? -I've heard about you, Inspector.

But we'd better get moving now.

Maybe it's abandoned? -I don't suffer from hallucinations!

What do you want? -We're stuck...

The roads are all flooded. -Go somewhere else.

Just a minute! I'm a police Inspector...

And this is an emergency.

Do you have a telephone?

Over there.

Excuse me, Inspector, but I must call the hospital immediately...

I told you, it's an urgent case! -Mine too, believe me.

Hello? Police Headquarters...

It's urgent.

Yes. This is Inspector Wright...

Put me through to the Chief.

Hello?

Listen here, I've captured Spike...

Yes! But hurry up!

Who is this Spike?

A homicidal maniac, at least, that's what the papers say.

Magnificent! We're in good company!

Finally! Listen, I've got Spike and I need help.

Yes, I'm stuck in a house along with some

other people, I'll give you the address...

Hello? Hello?

Hello?!

God damn it! The line's dead.

Hello?

I'm afraid you'll have to put us up. -You can't stay.

Is this what they call human solidarity?

I repeat, you cannot stay.

In that case I'll have to use my authority.

If you assume full responsibility, then make yourselves at home.

It's not your fault, Doctor, but it's too late now...

It's pointless letting it get to you.

Right. Pointless.

Sit over there. And you'd better behave!

Well? Who's next door?

Nothing. People passing through...

They've been trapped by the storm.

They'll spend the night here.

We've all been introduced, it's true. But what does that mean?

We've exchanged names, that soon we'll forget...

People like us can do a lot more, for example...

Organise the most interesting erotic games

that the imagination can come up with.

Don't you agree? Just think...

Following your instincts and expressing

yourselves with utmost sincerity...

Knowing we'll never meet each other again.

Wouldn't it be fascinating?

We're a bit like survivors on a deserted island.

Assholes. -Be quiet!

But why? He obviously gets it!

Silvia, cut it out! You're not in your club!

Inspector, have you ever arrested

anyone for not having a sense of humour?

We could play a less enjoyable game, Ms. Forest...

Like looking for a way out!

There must be another road around here, or even a path.

The entire area is in a disastrous condition...

And it's even more dangerous in the dark.

Excuse me, Inspector, but we're not under martial law here...

We're all free to stay or go.

They'll send help at dawn. We're safe here...

So I'm asking you all to co-operate.

Well said, Inspector.

Your little speech has warmed us all up...

And here I see the perfect remedy!

Seeing as I have to surrender.

No one else joining us?

Or do I have to ask the boss for permission?

Don't be shy.

What was more important to you Doctor?

The patient's life, or the success of the operation?

Do you think death is the end of everything?

I was forgetting that you're an expert in philosophy, professor.

What do you think? Don't be so modest!

I bet you're in love with the Doctor but

you don't have the courage to tell him!

How dare you!

Why? I would be! -Here we go.

You're barking up the wrong tree, dear.

Isn't there anyone here who can play the piano?

Where do you think you're going?

-He's not harming anyone, Inspector...

The situation is starting to get very interesting!

That's enough!

Tell me how does it feel to kill?

Do you think you could really understand?

Tied to a thousand prejudices, a thousand

fears, a thousand superstitions...

No, you live a life of vanity and compromise.

You'll never understand what it means...

To free yourself of all the hypocrisy

and stupidity of this decadent world!

You'll never understand! -And why not?

Because you're swimming in it. -Sit down, that's enough!

Ready to judge and condemn others...

Without any pity or revolting sentimentality!

Then you know you're superior!

The evening has got off to an exciting start...

Come on, gentlemen, what's next on the menu?

That's enough, Silvia!

You could use a tranquillizer.

And you can go to hell as well!

Look what I found, who do you think it could be?

Lady Sheila Marlow, the former owner of this house.

She was quite a remarkable character.

One of the most beautiful women in the world...

With an exuberant temper.

It wasn't only men who were fascinated by her...

Even women were jealous and envious...

But they were subjugated.

However, she was also a woman known for her violent outbursts.

You're certainly well informed.

She met a tragic fate, in mysterious circumstances...

She was known as a human being with destructive impulses...

Diabolical. -The Marlow trial...

She was accused of killing her husband...