8 Simple Rules

Lois and I still can't believe it.

-Oh, well; you tell Lois thank you for the casserole.

It's so sweet, but you know,

I have been back to work for a month and I can cook.

-Take care of each other. -Will do.

-You and Paul have such good friends. He sure was loved. -Yeah.

Anyone else getting sick of it?

-Honey, they're just trying to show they care.

-By bringing casseroles? Everyone knows they're all carbs.

-Is it impossible to say we're here for you with a salad?

-And the worst part is the way the 'casserole people' say hi.

-Yeah, I know. -It's... "Hi-i"

-Look I don't think anybody means offense by saying 'Hi. -Right.

That's what friends do. And if they want to bring delicious things..

..we'll just have to grin and eat it.

-Hey. -Hey.

You know, a lot of times..

..people take orange balls similar to this one..

..outside and shoot them at basketball hoops.

Okay, but bring it back.

-Hey, aren't basketball tryouts in a few days?

-Wednesday, I think. I don't know if I'm going to do that anymore.

-Rory, you were so excited about basketball.

That's all you and Dad talked about.

Yeah, well, things change.

-You know, your dad wouldn't want something you and he shared

..to suddenly become meaningless for you. -But it's not the same.

He taught me how to do a lay-up. He was helping me practice.

And, besides, they're only picking fourteen players.

-You know, maybe your grandfather could help you.

He was quite the basketball player in his day. -Really?

Which one of the thirteen colonies did he play for? -Hey!

Just think about it?

Your dad really would have wanted that.

What's that? -I'm putting together a collage for the scholarship kickoff dinner.

The one the newspaper set up in Dad's honor?

The one you bought the new outfit for? -Ahh, right, Thursday.

Mom, we got more cards. -More?

Well, just put them on the desk. I'll go through them later.

I gotta get to these dirty casserole dishes.

Cate, don't bother yourself with those. I'm in the process of washing them.

And I'm just letting them soak. -Dad, no offense, but...

you've been soaking them for two days.

How long does this process take? -How would I know?

What are you doing? -I need the scissors. -Well, I was using them.

Well, I have a stray bang hair. -Everyone in the world stop what you're doing.

Bridget has a stray bang hair. -Girls...

-God, give them back! -I'm using them! They're my art scissors!

Why are you so selfish? -My hair is art. -They're actually not even mine.

They're one of my friend's. -I'm sure, some art dork who's thrilled I'm using them.

-I said enough! For the love of God, stop!

This endless bickering is driving me nuts. -Oh, no.

Poor mom. -Yeah, now I think we upset her. -Yeah, I think you did.

Girls, don't you think your mom has enough..

..to deal with right now without you girls fighting?

So, what do ya say, we help her out? -Okay. -Alright?

Now, there's still a lot of cheese caked on those dishes,

so don't be afraid to put your shoulders into it. Okay?

I'll be right outside.

Hey, what do you say we work on your endurance after you're done?

-You want me to walk up with you to the store to get cigarettes, don't you?

Well, ehh... yeah.

Looking pretty good, pal. -Not good enough.

Dad always said games are won and lost on free throws. -Smart man, your dad.

-Did you know his team won the state championship two years in a row?

-Well, back when I was playing ball with Ben Franklin and the boys...

-Mom told you what I said? -Just give me the ball.

-That's pretty funny. I've got a friend who can kick it in.

-Hey, that's a real shot. It improves your odds of..

making a free throw when you shoot from between your legs.

-I think it'd also improve my odds of getting beat up after tryouts.

-Hey, guys. -Cate, would you tell your son it doesn't make any difference..

..what other people think about the way he shoots the ball?

-Well, I don't know, Dad. I mean then people in the stands would know..

..the kid doing the 'granny shot' was my son. I don't need that.

-Well, then fine. You know what I need?

-I am not taking you to the store for cigarettes. -Oh, crap.

...our cameras followed Jan as she went in search of her 'Extreme Makeover!'

..Here's what the doctors did. Her nasal bridge was shaved and sculpted..

Her teeth capped. Eyelids lifted. Fat is lyposuctioned from..

..tummy, buttocks, and thigh sections. But in the end,..

..will the surgeons achieve the look Jan's striving for?

This was Jan before.

This is Jan after her Extreme Makeover.

Jan! You're pretty now! Oh my...

Oh, no, no, no! Oh, God!

No, no, no! Not pretty!

-Hey. -'Sup? -Have you seen my collage? I wanna go put it away.

Yes. I have seen your collage actually.

Kerry, the truth is I took it to be framed.

-What? -Yeah. I just thought it was so beautiful..

..and that it would look more beautiful in a frame.

-Bridget, I love this not-fighting thing. -Oh, cling to that.

I heard the door.

I thought maybe it was Rory back from basketball tryouts. -No.

Just me, back from my walk. -With your laundry?

-Cate, if your neighbors want to help us through these difficult times, I say, we let them.

-You know, Dad, I think we might have finally found a use for you.

-Well, you sound like you're in a good mood.

-Yeah, well I got Rory to go to his basketball tryouts.

So, yeah, I feel pretty good.

I sure hope he makes the team.

-Okay, now not so good. Why wouldn't he make the team?

-Well, I didn't say he wouldn't. Miracles happen.

-How bad is he? -No, no. He's not bad. He's got a lot of heart.

Oh no, not 'a lot of heart!'

What was I thinking making him go try out?

Hi. Are you okay? -Yeah.

I made the team! -Ahh! Told you he would!

-Hey, Bridgt. -Hey!

Mom, do you have any pictures of Dad?

-Of course, honey. Whatever you want.

-Okay, good. I need like, twenty-five, from various stages of his life.

For my wallet. -What are you up to?

-Nothing. Why are you so suspicious? God!.

-Rory, I told you not to bounce the ball in the house.

Hi, Mom, blonde sister.

Rory, you ruined Kerry's collage!

-But the ball landed over and it's all wet and there's cheese on it...

Shut up. Be a man, own up to it.

You're going to have to talk to Kerry. -What's everyone doing in there?

-Bridget, actually, I think you're the one who needs to talk to Kerry.

Come on, we're going. Let's go, Rory. -I'll catch up.

No, come on, let's go.

Talk to me about what? -Nothing. -Oh, okay.

-Did you happen to get my collage back from the frame store?

-Yeah... you know how we're not fighting any more?

Such a good thing. -Oh my God. What happened to it?

-You're going to laugh. See, I was cleaning this pan

and this amazing show came on TV. I mean, they made this ugly, fat woman.. hot!.

It's like, with the miracles in plastic surgery today.

There's just no excuse to be ugly.

-Can I see it? -I didn't put a tape in the VCR. Sorry.

-My collage! -You know,

Rory is not totally blameless in this.

Wow..You're taking this really well.

Because we decided not to fight anymore.

-Look at all these pictures of Dad. -I know.

-You know what would have gone great here? Your collage.

Look at all this stuff, mom. -It looks like the Hall of Fame.

-Well, we're all gonna have a nice time.

We're all gonna have fun. -Cate! -Oh, God. -Still having fun, Mom?

Hi, Tommy. -Hey, some turn out, huh?

Everybody loved Paul. Except that guy.

Tommy, I need your help. Who is this woman that keeps waving at me?

Come on, you've met her a number of times. She's been here forever.