The Barefoot Executive

He's gonna make it right to the top.

That crazy movin' groovin' kid who just won't stop.

He's gonna rearrange the good ol' status quo.

And get it all together.

With the things he's got to know.

He's gonna make it He's gonna make it.

He's gonna take this cockeyed world and shake it.

He's gonna show them he's a winner in the end.

With a little bit of luck.

And a little bitty barefoot friend.

When they start rappin' that he's too young.

He makes his mind up that he'll wind up number one.

And the whole wide world will know that he's around.

Though other cats get uptight and try to put him down.

He's gonna make it He's gonna make it.

He's gonna take this cockeyed world and shake it.

He's gonna show them he's a winner in the end.

With a little bit of luck.

And a little bitty barefoot friend.

When they start rappin' that he's too young.

He makes his mind up that he'll wind up number one.

And the whole wide world will know that he's around.

Though other cats get uptight and try to put him down.

He's gonna make it He's gonna make it.

He's gonna take this cockeyed world and shake it.

He's gonna show them he's a winner in the end.

With a little bit of luck.

And a little bitty barefoot friend.

- He's gonna make it. - Little bitty barefoot friend.

- He's gonna make it. - Little bitty barefoot friend.

- He's gonna make it. - Little bitty barefoot friend.

- He's gonna make it. - Little bitty barefoot friend.

Little bitty barefoot friend.

Hi, Mark.

Come on, Jen. It's almost over.

I'll be there in a minute. I told Steve I'd wait for him.

I suppose he's at that crummy night school again.

Roger, everyone can't be a Stanford man.

Unfortunately.

But he drives everyone nuts. Especially Uncle.

Well, he won't bother him tonight.

Anyone who graduates

from the Moonrise Night School on Melrose Avenue

is certainly not gonna make it at the network.

- Hi, Rog. - Steve, it's about time.

Yeah. We had this guest lecturer. This guy had a great idea about a story

on Abe Lincoln's doctor's dog. It was a great idea.

- Don't mention it tonight. - Yeah, okay.

- Hey, how's the show going? - Not very well.

- I haven't heard any laughs. - I'm not surprised.

I saw it, it's a bomb. If Wilbanks'd just listen to me.

You promised you wouldn't say anything.

Who's saying anything?

Thank you. Thank you. How'd you like...? What did you...?

Did you...? Harry, what did you think?

Regardless of my personal feelings, Mr. Wilbanks,

I think this show will have a very good rating.

What do you mean, "regardless of your personal feelings"?

Well, I... I just don't happen to like TV very much, that's all.

He doesn't like TV. He's the morning program director.

- Steve, please be quiet. - Charming.

I mean, simply charming.

- Loved it. - Thank you.

- Some of them liked it. - Jen, telephone.

Of course they seemed to like it.

He's vice president in charge of programming.

Can you imagine what he'd do if someone didn't seem to like it?

Yes, operator. Mr. Wilbanks, international calling.

- It's Farnsworth. - Farnsworth. That vulture.

- Now, really, he isn't that bad. - Yes, he is. I know that man.

Every time he thinks I'm in trouble, he calls me up and congratulates me.

I tell you, he does it every time. Hello, Farnsworth.

What a show, Francis. What a show.

- Thank you, Farnsworth. - It was so, so... different.

- Different? - Yes, absolutely.

Incidentally, Clifford dropped by.

He sends regards from his entire staff at Continental.

- Hiya, Francis. - Hello, Clifford.

Well, I'm glad you liked it, Farnsworth,

because, you see, what I was trying to do...

We'll have lunch and talk about it.

Well, good night, Francis, you old scoundrel.

You've done it again.

Well, I know I'm in trouble. They both congratulated me.

Well, don't worry. It's what our big brass thinks that counts.

But what do they think?

There hasn't been a word from New York. Roger!

- Yes, sir? - Don't sneak up on me.

Get me New York.

They're lolling around there in the lap of luxury.

We put on a new show. The president of the network

doesn't call and tell me what he thinks of it.

- Hi-line, Crampton, New York. - Good boy. He gets right...

- What did you think of it? - Well, the...

- The audience liked it. - Yes, they did.

But I'm still worried.

Uncle Francis, I think you always over-worry our first show.

Is that what you think?

Well, let's hope that's the case this time.

Yes, sir, here he is.

Hello, chief! How'd you like the show?

Just fine, Wilbanks. Fine!

Is there somebody there with you?

Our sponsors are here. They watched the show with me.

The sponsors are there. Well, what did they think of the show?

They thought it was fine too, just fine.

- How'd the showing go out there? - Fine, just fine.

Several people laughed so hard they fell off their chairs.

In fact, some of them are still applauding.

Well, the ratings will be out in the morning.

- They'll tell us the story, Francis. - Yes, they certainly will.

- Good night, Francis. - Good night, chief.

Cut!

Not now, for heaven's sakes.

Ratings. That's all they think about are ratings.

We get great audience response. You heard them clapping yourself.

And they're worried about the ratings.

It's enough to give a man nervous prostration.

You look a little pale. Maybe I should get your pills.

Yes, I feel a little pale. Get my pills.

Love that casting, Francis. Love that casting!

Yeah, wasn't it good? The fellow with the hat? Didn't you like him?

Jen, what'd you think of the show?

Well, I thought it had certain possibilities.

Did you? I'm glad to hear...

- I thought next time, you could... - Post! Not tonight!

He never listens. He'll never listen!

Steve, did you slip him a note?

Jen, all he needs is one good program idea.

Steve!

Mertons, will you stop blowing that infernal horn?

- Wanted you to know I was here. - I know you're here.

The neighborhood knows. You'd think you were picking up your date.

And will you stop with the dusting? I'm in a hurry today!

Yes, boss.

Charlie, get off your bicycle, and put that paper on the porch.

I'm just sick and tired of digging it out of the bushes every day.

Careless, incompetent kids,

grow up that way, then come to the networks.

No wonder we're having these problems.

Say, boss, would you ask Wilma to move her car?

No, Wilma can't move her car!

You've got a reverse gear in this thing.

Yeah.

Hey, my bike!

- My bike! My brand-new bike! - Now look what you've done.

Yeah, careless, incompetent kids?

Not him. You! Well, don't worry about the bike...

But the papers.

If I don't deliver them,

I won't win that trip to Catalina.

I've been working all year on that trip to Catalina.

Well, he's been working all year on the...

Put the darn papers in the car!

How I ever let myself get saddled with my wife's relatives, I'll never know.

- Hi, Steve. - Hi, Jen.

I, got something here for Wilbanks.

Steve, you're supposed to deliver the mail, not read it.

- It doesn't hurt anything. - Keep moving.

Mr. Wilbanks should be here any second.

You know how upset he gets when he sees you hanging around.

He's not in yet?

I can't say I blame him after that show last night.

Steve, please just forget about last night's show.

Okay. I've seen disasters in my time, but that one really takes the cake.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Did you happen to get my note? - Yes.

Every time I put my hand in my pocket, I got your note.

Now you listen to me, Steven. I'm not interested in your theories on ratings.

And I'm certainly not interested in doing a show called

Abraham Lincoln's Doctor's Dog, whatever that is.

What is it?

Well, sir, it's very interesting.

You see, we had a guest speaker from our school last night.

A Mr. E.Z. Potter. You've probably heard of him.

- E.Z. Potter? - Yes. He's from up north.

- Up north? Where up north? - Tulare.

- Tulare? - Yeah.

He's got a surefire approach for making a top-rated TV show.

- He does? - And it's very logical too.

It's been historically proven that the American people

have always preferred stories about, number one, Abe Lincoln,

number two, doctors and number three, dogs.

So the most popular and highest rated show of all,

would be a show about Abe Lincoln's doctor's dog.

And that is the kind of a show

your TV friend from Tulare wants me to make?

Well, actually, he's not in TV, sir. He's in radio.

- Radio? - Yes.

- They don't have a TV station up there. - They don't?

Abraham Lincoln's doctor's dog?

- Yeah. - Title's kinda long,

but it sounds like a good idea.

Wait in the car.

Now you listen to me, Post. You get this straight.

Your job here is to deliver the mail.

And that is all you are to do is to deliver the mail.

I am not interested in your quacky theories

that come from your quacky teachers that teach in your quacky night school.

Yes, sir. But actually, in this case, it wasn't a teacher.