Raven's Home

You guys excited for the lock-in tomorrow?

Yeah. I think it's gonna be fun to spend Saturday night at school

is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

Yeah, I've already packed a blanket, some snacks and a shaving kit.

Shaving kit? You shave, Neil?

Mmm, not yet, but if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready.

Touch my chin.

Feel anything?

Yeah. Uncomfortable.

-It's a text from Cami. -Oh.

-She's staying with her dad this weekend. -

An eyeball, a woman and the letter "U".

What's that mean?

"I miss you."

Aw.

Tell her I miss her too.

No, she misses me, Neil.

-All right? It's my phone. -Ah.

What should I text back?

I got it.

-A fish on a skateboard. -A fish on a skateboard?

Wow. Your text game is weak.

No, I just saw a fish on a skateboard

Huh?

Is having a concert.

You know, they're a hip-hop group.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

They're super-overrated though. I don't--I don't even know why I listen to 'em.

What are you talking about?

-Ivy, look out! -Whoa!

Whoa. A fish on a skateboard.

Just like that band you hate.

Weird.

Yeah, it is weird.

You mentioned "a fish on a skateboard" and one just appears.

The odds of that are, like, a billion to one.

Wow.

Ivy, all you can talk about are statistics

after I just saved you from being the victim of a--a fish -and-run?

Sorry.

But it's still weird.

All right, she's gone. Now tell me the truth.

What? I--

This is a hair, right?

It's a little one. There it is.

Yep, that's us.

When did we eat cement?

-Mom. -I didn't just throw a dish in the trash.

Now I know you did.

Hey, listen, I need to talk to you about something important.

I know you're gonna say it's way too soon,

but I-I really think I'm ready--

You're not ready for nothing. No, no, sweetheart. You are a baby.

I need to call your dad.

I--I'm ready to tell Ivy and Neil about my visions.

-What did you think I was talking about? -

Nothing.

Look, I know how difficult it is keeping a big secret like this from your friends,

but I told Eddie and Chelsea.

-You just have to trust 'em. -Well, that's the thing.

Ivy and Neil are great, but I've only known them a couple months.

I need to be absolutely sure that they can keep a secret.

Ooh, sounds to me like you need a plan.

A scheme. A bit of a subterfuge.

You had me at "plan," and then you--you lost me at "subterfuge."

Well, lucky for you, you are related to the queen of schemes.

That's true. Alice. Thanks, Mom.

Alice? No, it was--

You know what? Yeah. Go--Go talk to Alice.

You know, 'cause I didn't wanna be a part of your stupid scheme in the first place.

I am a grown woman! I have things to do!

Ooh!

What's that, skillet? I'm sizzling?

Tss, tss--Ah!

Well, the skillet may think you're hot,

but me and the toaster think you're crazy.

-Hey, Rae. -Hey, Dad.

Why you wearing your Sunday best on a Saturday?

What? You, uh, got a date with a blender?

Oh, this old thing? No reason. Guess I gotta do some laundry.

Okay, I'ma take Alice to the hair salon. Gotta go.

Hair salon? Whoa.

Those places are nothing but, like, long waits,

endless gossip and just silly arguments.

I love it. Let me go. I'll take her. I can't wait.

I'll go get a new hairdo too.

Hey. It's me Victor.

Can we meet earlier?

Great.

See you then.

I can't wait.

Who threw my favorite dish in the trash?

When did we eat cement?

Hey, Alice. I need your help with a scheme.

I'm in. Who's the mark? What's the budget?

Do I need a fake passport?

Whoa.

I-I just wanna test whether Neil and Ivy can keep a secret.

So, my plan is for you--

Me to tell Ivy and Neil a made-up secret about you

then you'll see if you can get them to spill it.

Yeah. How'd you know?

Scheming 101, son.

So, what's the secret you want me to tell them?

Okay, I landed a huge record deal that I'm about to go on tour--

Oh, you're serious?

The secret has to be believable. Like, um

I could say I heard Cami was gonna dump you.

Hey, man. Why does everybody think Cami's gonna dump me?

'Cause she's out of your league.

Cami babysits Ernie from my class.

I'll say he heard her talking about it on the phone.

I don't know.

-Seems a little-- -Done.

Just texted Neil and Ivy, and I told them not to tell you.

Good scheming with you.

Okay--Hey, hey. Wait, wait. But that, um

That part about Ernie listening in on Cami's calls,

that's made up, right?

Let's just say I heard your text game is weak.

Now, you know I don't like gossip,

but I heard his wife was so furious,

she chased him down a freeway for three hours

with a dry pool noodle.

A dry pool noodle?

No, Janice, it was 20 minutes and it was a wet toilet brush.

Wet! That's nasty.

You don't know. You weren't there.

And neither were you, boo.

I love this place so much.

And they were only married three days.

It was two. And that wedding, hmm, was a mess.

Fake flowers. Tacky.

-Oof. You ain't said nothing but a word. -Mm-hmm.

Wait, it's just getting good.

Well, you know, relationships are hard.

Not for our new stylist. She's secretly dating a local businessman.

But you didn't hear it from me.

How could we not? You're the only one talking, Janice.

Well, keep talking, Janice. This is getting juicy.

He owns a dry cleaners.

It's a restaurant.

Just because you say it loud, don't make it right, Janice.

Yeah, girl! Uh-huh.

A restaurant? She better get her a man that can cook, okay?

I think he owns The Chill Grill.

The chill what?

Oh, they're totally in love.

Wait, in love? Who's in love?

Just wanna know if they talkin' about my daddy.

I'm just chilling. I'm just right here.

Just here. Almost--

-Did she just-- -Yeah, she did.

Alice, time to go!

Okay, look. Booker will be down any minute to go to the lock-in.

Should we tell him Cami's gonna break up with him?

-We promised Alice we wouldn't. -Okay.

I don't want to lie to Booker.

Look, we don't even know if it's true.

-Let's not freak him out for no reason. -Yeah.

Hey, here he comes. Just act natural.

[clears throat, speaks in posh accent] Hello, friend.

How was the upstairs?

Real natural, Neil.

Hey, guys. I'm sorry that took so long.

I was on the phone with Cami and, um

she was acting kind of weird.

You haven't heard anything, have you?

Nope. Nothing. Not a thing.

Oh.

How about you, Neil?

I heard

that pigeons can recognize human faces.

Mm-hmm. Anything else?

Maybe they can recognize other pigeons.

I don't know. Let me check.

Hey, you know,

I was thinking I should get a tattoo of Cami.

You know? There's no reason I shouldn't.

Right?

Sorry, Booker. Just super focused on this pigeon thing.

Why wait, you know?

I'm gonna go get that permanent tattoo, right now.

Unless there's a reason I shouldn't?

Are we really gonna let him get a Cami tat?

Are you guys really gonna let me get a Cami tat?

-You know she's gonna break up with me. -You know we know?

Of course, I know you know.

I had Alice tell you a fake secret so I could see if I could trust you guys.

-Wait, you lied to us? -No. It was more like a test.

-And you passed! -Yes!