Jinki:Extend (Jinki: Extend)

Troops, we're running low on fresh water,

so I must speak against this ridiculous new trend

of handwashing.

Sir, I heard that handwashing prevents dysentery.

Oh, I'm sorry, Collins, are you a physician or a barber?

I didn't think so.

Now, time for my newest invention.

One that shall surely turn the tide in this conflict.

A musket with a spy glass attached. I'm calling it...

the "Eyesaac."

So just your name? Right.

But instead of the letter "I,"

I'm spelling it with the word "eye"...

E-Y-E... at the front.

Point is, close combat will soon be a thing of the past,

because the Eyesaac, E-Y-E,

allows for accurate targeting of up to...

And I kid you not... 50 yards.

Glory be, I've got eyes on a British officer.

Now, of course it would be dishonorable to engage

while, you know, he's unarmed.

Quite a striking fellow.

He's fit of body,

well-groomed,

ready for action.

Right.

Well, lots of war stuff to do.

Battle is nigh. And remember,

do not shoot them until

you see the green of his eyes.

Theireyes.

Till you see the green of their eyes.

I actually didn't notice if he had green eyes.

Theyhad green eyes.

Oh, I gotta find a way out of this crypt.

I'm not getting eaten by a purple worm.

Eaten by a worm?

This game seems stressful.

This is what Jay does to relax?

Dungeons & Dragons isn't about relaxation,

it's about adventure.

Yeah. Nothing says adventure like eating

a family-size bag of chips by yourself.

Okay, Jay, you're gonna have to make a decision. Do you...

Oh, come on. Not again.

I'm sorry, guys, my Internet cut out again. Yeah, we know.

It's happened, like, 20 times already.

Yeah, well, what do you expect? It's rural Internet.

You guys get it. You're from Queens.

That's practically the country.

Jay, we moved downtown, by Brett and Shayla.

You did? Wait.

Who's Brett and Shayla?

You haven't met Brett yet? Okay.

He is hilarious. He fits right in.

We met him at a pub quiz.

Oh...

I'm confused. Is this part of the game?

Unfortunately, I think the only game being played here

is an adult man

trying to maintain long-distance friendships.

I don't get it. Couldn't... a hotspot or something?

Oh, great, you're back. Hey, can you hear me?

Do we just ask Brett to take Jay's spot?

What? Brett can't have my spot. No way.

What are you thinking, should we just kill Jay's character?

No, guys,

I can hear you.

I'm sad to lose Jay. But Brett? Hello?

I hate Brett.

Wow. Hard to imagine

feeling this betrayed by friends.

Didn't your best friend sleep with your wife?

Yes, Sasappis. Thank you for that helpful example.

So you want me to just take down the whole shed?

Yeah, it's kind of an eyesore.

Oh.

What on earth is the meaning of this?

Oh, yeah, this place will come down real easy.

Come down?

I'll have you know these barracks

are the sovereign territory of his Royal Highness

King George III.

And look at this one.

Gawking.Sorry.

Mark.

Sorry, Mark.

Uh, just leave the shed.

I have a meeting.

We'll talk later.

She can see us.Remarkable.

Indeed.

Hey. Uh, did you guys know there's three British soldiers

from the Revolutionary War living in our garden shed?

Don't worry about them.

They mostly stick to themselves.

They come up to the main house

once every year or so with some dispute or complaint.

They've never gotten over losing the war.

Well, those limeys can wipe their eyes with crumpets.

'Cause this land is, and has always been, American.

Said the guy from Massapequa.

Ever since the war, the agreement's been

the Americans get the house, the Brits get the shed.

No, no,

no, no.

Oh, no. What is it, Jay?

Hitch died.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

That's awful. He was a...

really...

You have no idea who Hitch is, do you?

I do not. He was my D&D character.

Oh. No, not to be insensitive,

it's just, doesn't he exist entirely in your head?

What is it, Pete?

I-I just wanted to say, as a long-time adventurer myself,

the bond between D&D creator and character

can be very real.

I know I shed a few tears when I lost Gelvin Monkspear

to the demogorgon.

Pete's saying he can relate, 'cause he got upset

about losing some character to a demidragon.Demogorgon.

Demogorgon?

Pete plays D&D?

Heck yeah. It was really popular in the '80s.

Hey, maybe Jay and I could play together.

Oh, that's really sweet... Pete wishes he could play with you.

Whoa, we totally could do that. Hey, Pete,

Pete, listen, you pick a character and I'll DM,

and then Sam... Sam, all you have to do

is translate, like you're doing right now.

I love this idea! Oh, no, no, no.

I mean, I love you, obviously,

but fantasy role-playing games

are at the far end of that affection.

Yeah. Okay, cool.

All my best friends just broke up with me,

but, uh, I can see

that playing a game is... is too big of an ask.

Okay, we can play tonight.

Yes! Oh!

Pete, saddle up, baby!

Oh, no. Whoo!

Tonight we ride! Rrroo!

We demand parley

at once!

Ugh, these fools.

Oh, boy. What's going on here? Aah!

She cansee us.

My God,

what foul deal with the devil hath provoked such a power?

She fell down the stairs, and when she woke up

she could talk to ghosts and animals.

Uh, no. I'm not sure where she got the animals thing.

But I'm Samantha. Hi.

Lieutenant-Colonel Nigel Chessum.

I've come to discuss the unprovoked attack

on our land. SASAPPIS: I don't know

if I'd say this is your land.

Yeah, give 'em hell, Sass!

USA!

USA! Are you talking about the door?

This is about dignity and decorum and...

Yes, the door.

We want it put back, and we won't accept anything less.

Sam?

Have you seen my yellow Decepticons shirt?

Oh, I think it's in the dryer.

Uh-uh, I checked.

I'll come help you in a sec. I'm just dealing

with some British ghosts from the Revolutionary War.

Okay. I'll check the hamper.

Sorry, you were saying?

Our barracks. This affront shall not go un...

Oh, fine, I'll-I'll do it.

Pardon?

I'll tell the contractor

to put the door back on. Anything else?

Oh. Um, I...

had sort of a lengthy diatribe planned, but, uh, splendid.

Well,

shall we get out of here, sir?

Oh, yes.

I suppose there's no reason to linger.

No other reason I can think of.

Sam, I believe that shirt that Jay's looking for

is in the hallway closet upstairs...

Lieutenant-Colonel Chessum.

Captain Higgintoot.

What, um... what fortune prompts

such an unexpec... pected visit?

A... trivial matter, now concluded.

Hmm.I...

do hope my presence, though unexpected,

is not entirely unpleasant.

Oh, no, I think it's fair to say

that your presence is the furthest thing from unpleasant.

Okay, am I nuts, or is there, like,

crazy chemistry between these two?