Mary Christmas

Would ya look at that folks?

You couldn't ask for more perfect

Christmas weather than this!

Unfortunately, those shots were taken in Vermont

and you live in California!

Hello, wake up and smell the latte!

Our forecast for the next five days calls for the usual:

warm, toasty, hot, scorching!

So, I hate to be the one to break it to you,

but there is not a chance of there being a white Christmas

this year within a hundred miles of where I'm sittin'.

No skiing?

Nope, no snow!

Not a drop, not a flake.

Except for maybe that!

Merry Christmas to you!

- I cannot believe even you would do this to me!

Yeah, and I can't believe that this jerk

would ask me for a raise and he can't even deliver snow!

Don't change the subject!

Look, I only get two weeks a year,

how can you give them away?

Mary, I need you.

All right, fine, the station needs you.

You know the Channel 3 motto, three for the people?

Well, Duckworth wants more people stories

and nobody does people stories better than Mary Maloney!

Yeah, well, I'm a people too,

and I need snow at Christmas, I need Vermont,

I look forward to it all year!

Christmas around here is all hype and no heart.

I have all the heart you need.

Get a transplant.

- Mary, the station needs one of those great, big

Mary Maloney Christmas stories, you know,

the kind that touch you right here!

I hate making people feel like Christmas

has to be perfect, they end up feeling hollow

and disappointed, like I do now.

- Mary, you are looking at this the wrong way,

that's your talent!

See, you can make people think Christmas is wonderful

even though it is hollow and disappointing!

Come with me, come with me.

There's a station in St. Louis that's following

a real family as they prepare for the holidays,

the audience is eating it up!

That is your ticket, I promise you!

We're gonna find you a family and you're gonna follow them

as they prepare for Christmas.

We're gonna bring the audience right into the living room!

Mac, how long have you been promising

that you'd move me into news?

- And I will, but you have to be a good sport,

you gotta play by Duckworth's rules.

Which reminds me, he wants you to wear this.

You know, my contract is up in February

and there is nothing holding me here except a job in news.

And, well...

What does that mean?

Well, I mean, Mary, you know,

your contract's up every year and every year

you threaten to quit but you never leave.

I mean, something's obviously keeping you here

and I have a pretty good idea I know what it is.

- You are absolutely right, I have stayed here far too long.

It is time to put my foot down

and I'm putting it down on this story!

- I, I wish you would pick it up and then put it down

then pick it up again and put it down again

because you're on in 53 seconds.

Letters to Santa,

it's like fingernails on a chalkboard!

Dear Santa, can you get me a new life?

Best idea I ever had!

No doubt.

- Hey Steve. - Hello, Mary, 30 seconds!

Thank you.

Nice legs! - Hey, Mar.

- Do you have this? - How are my teeth?

Good.

You look good.

15 seconds.

Hola!

Got your bags packed?

There's been a change of plans.

Oh!

- And five, four - You must be really

disappointed, I'm so sorry! - Three, two...

- Well, it's that time of year again when thousands

of letters to Santa on the way to the North Pole,

and that means it's time for lifestyle's reporter

Mary Maloney to help us write our very own letters to Santa.

Mary?

- That's right, time is running out but there's still time

for you kids of all ages to write to Santa.

Thousands of letters filled with Christmas wishes

are already on their way to the North Pole

and we have just a few of them here

on loan to us by the postal service.

So, to write to Santa, all you need is some paper,

a pen or a pencil, an envelope,

and a lot of hope in your heart.

So, Dan, Rita.

Here it goes.

Dear Santa, what I would like for Christmas...

How do you spell Ferrari?

You haven't been that good, Dan.

But there's hope in my heart, Rita.

- All right, now you just fold it, put it in the envelope,

and send to Santa Claus care of the North Pole.

But I have it on good authority that if you send it

to St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle,

Father Christmas, or just plain Santa,

your letter will reach the jolly old fellow.

And Mary, what did you wish for?

I asked for our entire audience

to have a happy and healthy holiday season.

And, of course, for all of these wishes to come true.

Ho ho ho!

- Hey, hey, great job, great job, everybody!

Well done, well done, well done, well done!

Hey, Rita was too shiny.

Okay, good job, good job, good job.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you people were beautiful!

Excellent as always, thank you, thank you!

You were all great, especially my Mary Christmas.

Mary Christmas, isn't that smart, huh?

What do you need, Mac?

Well, I had this genius idea.

Why don't we get you story from there letters right here?

I'm sure it's... - You can't open that,

that's official mail! - I'm sure Santa's

not gonna mind, I'm sure he's not gonna mind,

these are filled with ideas!

Here, we'll grab some, let's see.

"Dear Santa, please bring me a new truck,

"the one I got last year broke, love, Jared," No.

A-ha!

"Dear Santa, I've been a good person

"except when I bit my sister," No.

Here, here, here, here, here.

I'm sorry, I know we're gonna find gold here, okay!

"Dear Santa, I might be too old

"to be writing you but you are my only hope.

"My mommy died when I was two,

"Daddy and I have been alone ever since.

"He's a very good daddy!

"But all I really want for Christmas is a mommy,

"I think Daddy would like that, too.

"I don't want us to be alone again this year.

"I know I'm asking a lot but I hope you can bring someone

"to love us both, love, Felice Wallace!"

Smell that!

Do you know what that is?

Ratings!

Mary, this is it, this is your family!

I want you to follow the single father and his daughter

as they struggle to get through Christmas.

- No, Mac, this family has enough problems,

I don't wanna impose on their privacy!

Privacy?

Mary, privacy?

You're a reporter!

Listen, if you wanna get into the news you...

- There's no way this little girl can get her wish

in the next four days, it would be a downer!

- But, Mary Maloney, no, no, no, no, Mary Christmas!

Yeah, she'll be able to figure out the good, happy angle!

This is it, Mary, I'm assigning you this story!

- No! - No, I can see it!

The dad, he's struggling to make ends meet,

and the little kid, him and her,

they live in some shabby cottage without a woman's touch...

Mac!

No.

I am not doing this.

Mary.

Mary, if you do this for me I,

I promise you on my own next promotion

that I will have Duckworth move you to the news.

I'll put my own job on the line.

Mary, it's that important to me.

Give me this.

I'll call them.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Call, no, Mary Maloney doesn't call, Mary Maloney shows up!

See, they see the pretty smile and they can't say no.

Whatever you say, boss.

That's a good sport, Mary!

Don't make it worse, Mac!

Ho ho ho!

Tony, it's all so beautiful.

Heh, you ain't seen nothin' yet!

Oh!

Wow!

Yeah!

It looks just like Christmas.

Except there's no snow.

Ah, who needs snow?