Hangin' with the Homeboys

Yo.

[Wheels screeching on tracks]

Hey, man, what's up with that?

You know me? You talkin' to me?

Yo, homey, you gettin' bad with me?

You want me to fuck you up?

Fuck him up, man.

Jump on him, man.

You couldn't fuck up your own mother.

For that, motherfucker, you die.

Come here, man.

Come here, man.

Ow, I'm hurting.

Get off the floor, man.

Ladies and gentlemen,

thank you for attending another performance

of ghetto theater.

Return with us next week as we perform our rendition

of Romeo and latoya.

Thank you.

*i've got the power *

* I've got the power

* the power

* the power

* the power

* the power

* like a thief when I'm steamin' *

* like the groove I'm schemin'

* let the opposition follow, we're free men *

* bring a skill with the Lyric *

*breakin' our balls *

* steal your soul with the tone of the microphone *

* in this game of life, i will thrive, survive *

* you take a dive

* your brain is on no jive, miracle strong *

* even in the last hour

* snap, Jack

* 'cause I got the power

* I got the power

* like the turn of the whip, i snap attack *

* front to back

* in this thing called rap

* dig it like a shovel, rhyme devil *

* on a heavenly level

* bang the bass

* turn up the treble

* radical mind, day and night all the time *

* 7 to 14, wise divine *

* maniac brainiac, winning the game *

* I'm the lyrical Jesse James *

* I got the power

* the power

* the power

* the power

[Man shouting in Spanish]

Woman: did the mailman come?

Maria to the front counter, please.

Maria to the front counter.

Johnny, Monday's the deadline

on that hispanic scholarship

that I've been telling you about.

Remember?

Oh, yeah, right. I forgot about that.

My son got his in 2 weeks already,

so you better get moving.

Yeah, ok, I will.

Ok.

Hey, how--how you doing, daria?

Oh, hi, Johnny.

How you doing?

Tsh, I don't know.

I'm doing-- I'm doing all right.

Haven't seen you in the store in a long time,

you know?

Oh, yeah.

I've been feeling kind of lazy.

You know?

Just not wanting to shop.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, i--i know-- i know that feeling.

Hey, you know, I was-- i was wondering,

you know,

if--if you're not doing anything tomorrow night,

would you maybe like to go out or something?

No, sorry.

I've got plans.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

All right, I'll be seeing you.

Maybe next week.

Ok?

Oh, yeah, next week. That sounds terrific.

Ok. bye.

All right. Bye.

God bless you.

I'll get her.

I'll get her.

[Telephone ringing, people talking]

Look, Mr. Stevens,

we're quite fed up with your behavior.

We've sent you out to several work programs

and you never show up.

If you don't want your welfare checks terminated,

you'd better straighten up.

This is 'cause I'm black, right?

What are you talking about?

Look, you can be honest with me.

You're doing this to me 'cause I'm black, right?

Fine.

I'll be honest.

I'm doing this because i think you're a bum.

Oh, I'm a bum. Oh, I'm a bum.

Oh, you calling me a bum because I'm black, right?

See, if I was a white guy, I'd be eccentric,

but now I got to be a bum, right?

No, if you were a white guy,

you'd be a white bum.

I don't think that's funny.

It wasn't meant to be. I think you're not

showing up to our work programs

because you don't want to be involved in them,

which would simply lead

to a termination of your checks.

Oh, no. Oh, whatever gave you that idea?

Oh, I love your work programs.

Especially the one you sent me on last week.

You know, the one where I'm supposed to clean the toilets.

Oh, I love that type of stuff.

Oh, I do that type of stuff all the time at home.

I mean, that's what you'd expect a black man to do, right?

Look, this conversation is over.

I'm sending you to one last program.

It's in Brooklyn.

Brooklyn? that's like

on the other side of the world, man.

If you don't go,

your case will be terminated.

You're doing this because I'm black, right?

We have several kinds of magazines to choose from, sir.

Even magazines specific to your occupation.

By the way, sir, what is your occupation?

Well, we have several kinds of magazines, sir.

Even magazines specific to your occupation.

May I ask what your occupation is?

Oh, that's wonderful.

Yes, we have all kinds of magazines, sir.

Even magazines specific to your occupation.

What is your occupation, sir?

Oh, you're an agent. Oh, really?

You mean, like in movies?

Oh, well, my name is Thomas mcneal,

and I'm an actor.

Yeah, really.

What have I done?

Uh, well, did you see rain man?

I was up to play a part of a waiter in rain man,

but they wrote out the scene.

Yeah, that happens sometimes.

Uh, listen.

Look, forget about the magazines.

They suck. Just take my word for it.

Uh, do you think I could get your name or your address--

ahem.

Uh, yes, we have excellent magazines, sir.

Uh, all sorts of magazines.

Even magazines specific to your occupation, sir.

Hello.

He-e-e-e-e-e-y.

Candy, how you doing?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

No, I'm fine.

When, tonight?

I can't. I'm hanging out with the fellas.

No.

When? when did I promise that?

Oh, come on, baby. You know

you can't count on anything i say when I'm doing that.

[Click, dial tone]

Hello?

Hello.

He-e-e-e-e-e-e-y.

Wendy, how you doing?

I'm ok.

What?

No, I can't, not tonight.

I'm hanging out with the fellas.

No.

I know, Wendy, but--

when did I promise that?

It figures.

Well, I'm sorry, Wendy, but I can't.

I told you--

but, Wendy, but listen--

but, Wendy, but listen--

but, Wendy, but--

all right, forget it. All right.

So I lied, ok? So forget--

Oh, shit.

What the fuck happened to you?

Oh, shit!