The Out of Towners (The Out-of-Towners)

- Gwen, come on! - I'm on my way, George! Don't holler!

Come on! Hurry up!

Oh, I forgot my purse.

- Where are you going? - Come and say goodbye to Daddy.

- Bye. - Bye, Mom.

Bye! Bye-bye!

I don't know why you rushed me, George. We have an hour...

To give ourselves plenty of time. What if we had a flat?

We're married 14 years, we never had a flat.

- Feel my chest. - Are you having a heart attack?

No, I wanna make sure we got the tickets.

Yes, that feels like tickets to me. I wish you'd calm down, George.

I think I glued my eye together, it certainly is sticky.

- You're excited about this, aren't you? - Excited? The New York job?

You know how many fellows are crying 'cause they picked me?

Every one of them. Vice-president in charge of sales?

I'll say I'm excited. Feel the other side. Is my wallet there?

Yes, that feels like your wallet. Well, you deserve it, George.

Nobody worked harder for it or wanted it more than you have.

- It's what you want, too? - The job?

The job, the move, the new way of life. That's what you want too, right?

- I want anything you want. - Then say I did the right thing.

- Say we'll be happier there than ever. - Yes, we'll be happy in New York.

- "Happier" in New York. - Happier than we've ever been, yes.

It'll be great for the kids. You don't have to worry about the schools.

- I wasn't worried... - They have great private schools.

If they don't get in, the public schools are even better. "New Yorker".

- You've gotta find us an apartment. - 90 cents, please.

Don't worry about rent, I'll be earning more.

We won't have car expenses because we don't need one.

- I wasn't worried... - Find a place near the park

so we can run the dog. I know you're worried. Everyone has dogs.

There are millions of places to run them as long as they're on a leash.

Don't eat on the plane. We have a reservation at the Four Seasons.

- Can I help you? - Mr and Mrs Kellerman, flight 406.

It may be the greatest restaurant in the country. Don't worry about eating.

- I wasn't worried about eating. - Are there problems with the weather?

Our last reading was 68 degrees.

- It's beautiful in New York! - I wasn't worried about the weather.

You and your wife are confirmed on flight 406, boarding now.

- Are these your bags? - I'll carry this one myself.

No, let the airline carry it. It's their job.

- Don't worry about the luggage. - I wasn't worrying.

- Gwen, are you excited? - Yes, George.

- You don't look excited. - I'm very excited!

- Have a good flight. - Thank you.

- Coffee or tea with dinner? - No coffee, tea. No dinner.

- Nothing at all? - Please.

George, maybe we should have a sandwich. You didn't have lunch.

At 8.30 we're having a great meal. I'm not gonna spoil it with stale chicken.

- Stop worrying about my stomach. - I didn't want you to be hungry.

I got two bottles of ulcer medicine, if that's what you're thinking.

- Relax. - I'll try.

The captain has turned on the No Smoking sign.

- Extinguish all cigarettes... - Fasten your seat belts, please.

... and your seats are in the upright position in preparation for landing.

Put your chair in an upright position, please.

- Five minutes early! - It's very big, isn't it?

That's why they call it New York.

Come here! You're missing the whole skyline.

All right, is that a beautiful city or what?

Oh, that's a beautiful city.

Would you all please fasten your seat belts?

- Hey, did I tell you the plan? - No, what is the plan?

Tonight's fun-filled agenda prepared during my lunch hours:

7.05, arrive Kennedy Airport, 7.45, check into deluxe suite

at the world-famous Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. More?

8.30, dinner at the star-studded Four Seasons Restaurant. More?

Followed by a midnight dance in the Empire Room.

Followed by a swift elevator ride up to our perfumed bedroom,

followed by one of the great love-makers any woman encountered. More?

No more. You have an interview at nine a.m.

A shoo-in!

George...

It's not possible they'll turn you down? I mean, not get the job?

What? I've already been approved. The interview is just a formality.

- This is Captain Endicott. - This is it, I can smell the meal.

We've heard from Kennedy Approach that we've run into a traffic problem.

15 aircraft ahead of us, so if you'll just sit back and relax,

we'll circle until we get the go-ahead. I would guess about 20 to 30 minutes.

He guesses? Shouldn't he know? He's a pilot, he shouldn't guess.

- Miss? - We have plenty of time.

Is there any chance it'll be more than 30 minutes?

We have an 8.30 dinner reservation.

I don't guess it'll be more than 20 or 30 minutes.

- That's what the pilot guessed. - His guess is better than mine. Coffee?

- Could I have a cup... - Does this happen very often?

Almost every night here. It's called the "Stacking Hour".

- Excuse me. - Thank you.

- They should have told us. - It's not her fault.

They should tell you. An hour 20 minutes flying, 30 minutes stacking.

Then I'd know it's an hour 50 minutes.

You're going to have trouble with your stomach, I see it coming.

OK, it's almost 35 minutes. I hope he's a better pilot than guesser.

- Miss! - Feels like we're going down.

- Can you see the airport? - No, it got foggy.

It's thick clouds. They fly through this all the time.

- Yes, sir? - It's over 35 minutes now.

- I imagine we've hit bad weather. - No need to imagine, just look!

- We have an 8.30 reservation... - Excuse me.

Probably telling the pilot it's foggy. He's too busy circling to notice.

- You should have eaten something. - My seat belt's too tight.

This is Captain Endicott again.

We've run into a fog system not previously reported.

Kennedy reports a ceiling which is below normal for landing,

so we'll have to sit it out a little longer.

We're gonna sit! We held, we circled, now we're gonna sit!

- Miss! Where's Miss? - Might as well relax.

Last time this happened we circled two and a half hours.

- This happened to you before? - Either it's traffic, fog, a labour dispute.

I figure just circling, I'm two years older than I should be. Relax.

Hear that? At 8.30, we'll be circling over the Four Seasons.

It's not important. We can eat later in the room.

In the meantime, could I have a cup of coffee?

- Can I help you? - My wife would like a coffee.

- I'm sorry, the coffee's gone. - We haven't eaten anything.

- Is it possible to make more? - We can't do that during landing.

- But we're circling. - We are circling prior to landing.

But if we keep circling and circling, that's flying. Can you make coffee then?

This is Captain Endicott again, we're encountering turbulence.

Please take your seats and fasten seat belts.

Can I have a Coke or a glass of milk?

I'm sorry, it's a federal regulation.

We may not serve beverages during take-off or landing.

- Would you like a glass of water? - Isn't water a beverage?

If you'd like to discuss this with the senior stewardess...

I'd like to discuss it with the Federal Aviation Authority,

which I plan to do once we're through sitting, holding and circling...

Sir, would you take your seat and observe the No Smoking sign?

Yeah, I observed it.

- You know what time it is? - It's not important.

Twenty to nine.

By the time we check in and go to a restaurant,

it'll be 11.30. If I eat that late, I'm usually up all night.

You're anticipating. Maybe you won't.

Maybe we'll be up here. Spend the rest of our lives circling New York.

- This is Captain Endicott again. - I don't want to hear this.

Sorry to report Ground Control sees no easing up of conditions here,

and Kennedy will be closed for the night.

The same applies to Newark, LaGuardia and Philadelphia.

We'll have to proceed to Boston. You may smoke again if you like.

We're going to Boston.

I have to be in New York at nine a.m. And I'm going to Boston!

American Airlines flight three to Los Angeles departing at gate six.

Excuse me. Gwen, here's the stubs.

You pick up the bags, I'll go see if there's another flight going out.

I'll meet you in front of the mailboxes.

- Shouldn't we eat first? - There's no time!

I gotta get to New York. I'll meet you in front of the mailboxes.

Braniff International Airways flight 543 for Dallas now ready...

Kennedy is closed. No flights into New York.

- When do they open again? - Operations should resume at 7 a.m.

- Are there any trains going tonight? - You'll have to check South Station.

Mr Howard Beals, please report to the flight information counter.

American Airlines flight three non-stop to Los Angeles departing at gate six.

That's right, to New York. 10.20, gets in at two a.m., right?

Last train to New York from South Station in 20 minutes.

- They'll never make it. - I gotta make it!

Miss Hazel Marshall, please report to the flight information counter.

Gwen!

There's a train in 20 minutes. Where are the bags?

- They can't find them. - I hope there's a dining car...

- They can't find what? - The bags.

- What do you mean? - I can't say it simpler than that.

- They lost our luggage?! - Do not shout.

- They lost our luggage? - It's not lost, they just can't find it.

- Supposing they don't find it? - Then it's lost.

Come on, we got 20 minutes to find our lost luggage.

Passengers arriving on flight 347 may now claim their luggage.

Excuse me.

- Excuse me. - Just a minute.

I've got 20 minutes to catch a train. You have lost my bags.

- A large brown one and small grey one. - We've got the claim checks.

- What do they look like? - A large brown one and small grey one.

- You don't see 'em? - Why would we ask if we saw them?

- It won't help to get excited. - It can't hurt.

What's the difference as long as I get my bags?

- He's trying to help. - To not get me excited, not get my bags.

- We'll miss the train. - Can I see your claim checks?

- You should have carried the little one. - Just two bags?

- A brown one and a grey one. - You didn't see 'em come out?

- My wife didn't see 'em come out. - I don't see 'em here.

I can see you don't see them! Can I talk to someone else?

- Have you tried Lost and Found? - We just found out they were lost!

- We just found out they were lost. - All I can suggest is Lost and Found.

Why not just suggest Lost and Found instead of reading my claim checks?

- He's trying to help. - He wasn't helping, he was reading.

- What's your name? - Vito!

If you don't find 'em, I'm suing you people!

What way is this to run an airline?

- You didn't see them come out? - I've got 12 minutes to catch a train.

- There's no cause for alarm, Mr... - What's the difference?

We'll just waste time discussing my name. George Kellerman, all right?

In 11 minutes, the most important train of my life leaves,

and we're talking about my name.

- T.I.A. Assumes all responsibility. - I don't want your responsibility.

I just want my shirts. I've got a meeting in the morning!

My husband has an important business meeting at nine a.m.

- Why tell him what I just said? - We can put you in a hotel tonight.

- You can make our seven a.m. Flight. - Supposing New York's still fogged in?