The Exhibitionists

Although I need the healing of my Christ brother superior,

I need it like the cracked earth needs the rain.

I am truly unfit to receive Him

because I am not now, nor have I ever been

fully truthful with Him.

Or you.

You don't want that.

Dirty.

Are you irritated?

How's that pie?

Mmm!

You know, you don't have to feel obligated.

Walter said,

"Wouldn't it be nice if you two had some girl on girl bonding?"

This call, Minneapolis.

It's probably a telemarketer.

No voice message, so...

Now that you have some food in your stomach...

I can...

take my pills on my own.

Of course you can.

Fuckin' holiday traffic.

What now, Walter?

Another story about movies?

Back in the middle of the 20th century,

John F. Kennedy was very ill.

He nearly died of illness five times before he was killed.

JFK was shot.

So?

He didn't die of diseases.

But you could shoot me.

Does that mean that I'm medically 100% okay right now?

I don't know. Are you?

Instead of commenting on status or something school related,

you might actually learn something.

Walter, c'mon.

We've been on the road since Christmas.

Stuck on the GWB for two hours.

I look like crap.

And that's all I know about JFK.

JFK was weak.

He had Addison's Disease.

Well, he looked fine in pictures.

No, no, no. That's the point.

JFK said to his photographers,

"Take pictures. Make me look healthy, strong."

And to this day,

those pictures still represent the American ideal of perfect health.

Hey, will you rescue me?

Walter's being pretentious.

Pictures ARE reality, Lynn.

You should thank me for filming you.

By filming you, I'm making you real.

YouTube diary 314, behind the scenes.

This is some of the gear we used on the shoot.

Bringing it upstairs for storage.

Yeah... you can.

Shouldn't we be bringing this stuff upstairs?

Maybe you shouldn't do that.

Why?

Because I'm a married man.

Well...

Look what the cat dragged in.

Shut the door.

Please take off that ridiculous hat.

Souvenir.

How was the trip?

I'm so sick of being dragged down by all the...

ineptitude.

The people we interview.

Gordo.

If this was 30 years ago,

I'd have models serving me champagne from their fucking tits.

Nobody has the balls to do anything big.

Why'd you have me watched?

She said that you didn't eat.

And that's why you fainted.

It's not why.

I ate pie anyway.

He's coming back.

How was babysitting?

Some people don't have all of their mental functions.

Neither do I,

because I... am...

crazy about...

you.

Sleeping in the editing room.

FYI.

Huh.

I thought she was an intern.

It's George.

I'm...

I'm in a bus station near Minneapolis.

I'm coming home on leave.

I'm gonna go to Walter's,

hopefully I'll see you New Year's Eve.

Anyways, if you're... if you're not there,

or for whatever reason you don't want me there...

I'll just find a YMCA or something.

I love you.

How do you feel?

I'm just...

I'm happy he's alive.

JESUS...

H CHRIST... on a pudding pop.

Can you cook? - WHAT?

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Semester's over. I'm paying you.

Not to throw Ovaltine on me.

Yes, yes. Truce.

Genuine truce. Here.

And you're watching dirty movies!

It's for work.

What?

Work?

A new Blithe Stargazer video.

Honest Indian.

It's going to be my reclamation.

You know what I mean when I say that?

No.

No, you've been through so little.

Okay.

There are times, in my line of work...

where you feel as if you live in a sewer.

And you're dying in said sewer

of a very bad disease.

This chance,

her coming here tonight...

I'm proud to say is not one of those times.

Walter, my lily white ass is coming here tonight.

Well...

I knew you were a super fan, so...

I thought I'd tell ya.

Bullshit.

I sometimes cheat,

but I never lie.

Would you?

Cook.

It'd be a huge favor.

You know I wouldn't ask

unless I thought you were a professional level chef, right?

Here.

There's a Whole Foods downstairs.

Something for all three meals if you can.

Here.

Good girl.

Oh, and FYI...

Regina and one other guest who's coming tonight are,

are vegetarian, so...

Regina.

How come...

How come you won't eat the ham?

Well...

I don't know, Lynn.

My mom was a vegetarian.

My brother was too.

And...

I guess we just don't like to see animals get hurt.

Oh, well...

My roommate Isis was a vegan

for two months before

she ate just like an assload of fried chicken.

She said it drove her so crazy

thinking about that crispy skin,

that she just drove down to her hometown

in Pennsylvania,

went to her local Perkins,

and ordered the fried chicken special.

But I told her my philosophy is that

you can't un-kill an animal who's dead.

The ham was STONE dead when I bought it.

I'm gonna puke.

It's just a different lifestyle.

Well, maybe we like our lifestyle, Lisa Simpson.

Then you don't have to try mine, Gordo.

Listen up, fam.

Regina's a little...

sensitive today.

Well, sure she is.

Her very own brother is coming home today.

Seriously?

Anything special?

He likes?

Want to try some butter rum?

I haven't had anything like this in years.