The 'Burbs

Welcome to Ashfield Place.

Now, I'm Samira. And that's Miles.

We really went from city loft to lawn so fast.

We did everything so fast.

How long has that house been empty?

Twenty years, give or take.

This is a cul-de-sac. People are weird.

You've been keeping tabs on us

through the window, Jimmy Stewart?

Which one of us is the murderer?

Your face.

What's the deal with that Victorian house?

A family lived there.

They had a daughter who-- Died.

Maybe even-- Murdered.

She also keeps asking questions

about the house across the street.

Do you have a periodical section?

I'm afraid that March volume

has been checked out.

It was an all-cash deal.

Uh-uh. Those are for the new neighbor.

I just wanna know what his deal is, don't you?

- Hands where I could see 'em. - What's happening?

We got a call about a trespasser

at the old Grant house.

This is lunacy. - I think we should stay.

There's space in the community

and our family's not gonna be

run out by some racist,

brownie-hating prick.

Goodnight, Alison.

I still wanna be Samira too.

Uh...

Miles? Miles?

Oh, Miles.

Miles! Miles!

Ah!

Oh.

Miles!

Miles.

Oh. Oh.

I'm coming, Miles.

Ow.

Miles. No.

Hello, neighbor.

No.

No.

Hey. Hey.

It's okay. You're safe.

I had a bad dream.

Shoo. Shoo.

Shoo. Shoo.

Huh. Okay.

Agnes' dog took a dump on Lynn's lawn again.

Please, honey.

That man still hasn't touched my brownies.

You okay, Miles? - Oh, yeah?

He's too busy being a racist

than putting up no trespassing signs

that point directly at your house.

Please don't get obsessed.

I'm not. Can you blame her?

The guy called the cops on her. - Thank you.

Okay. We need to take these down.

We should keep our distance.

He does his thing. We do ours.

We live across the street from this weird prick.

Let's just leave it at that.

I love the lobster dicks.

Absolutely not.

No. Yeah. The dicks have gotta go.

But why would he move into a murder house?

It's not a murder house. No one got murdered there.

Seriously, don't believe those stupid stories

about her parents killing her

and burying her in the basement.

It's so ridiculous.

Who said that?

- What? - Naveen.

- What's the story? - There's no story.

You just referred to a story. I know, but it's not--

Do you think there's truth to the story?

I don't think so.

You don't think so? You don't know so?

Uh, I...

Where there's smoke, there's fire

and it's burnin'.

Oh, there is no smoke 'cause there's no fire

and there's no burning 'cause it's nonsense.

It's a small town myth, nothing more.

You're a good fucking lawyer, you know that?

- You bet I do. - And you're an idiot.

We gotta go.

What just happened to me?

I love you

and I love you too, little man.

Make sure your mama doesn't get in trouble

while I'm gone, okay?

Bye. I hate leaving you alone all day.

Exactly.

I can't stop thinking about the other night.

It's horrible seeing Samira that scared, seeing Danny.

Oh, I fucking hate that guy.

Why is it always like the biggest douchebag

in high school that grows up to be a cop?

Always. Fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy.

You know, he still calls me Naveen the Peen

every time I run into him.

I mean, it does have quite a nice ring to it.

But you've got Quidditch Bitch which became...

Benedict Cumberbitch. - Benedict Cumberbitch, yeah.

He was quite creative.

I was an easy target.

Forgive me for not asking you this, like, decades ago.

How did you deal with all of that,

you know, being one of the few non-White kids in our class?

I wouldn't have survived if I held on to everything

that was ever said about me or done to me.

You're raising a Black son, man.

You kind of realize this shit goes way further

than anything else.

People are assholes everywhere.

- Dannys Dannys everywhere. - Uh-hmm.

Look, dwelling is not gonna get you anywhere.

New plan. You gotta do what Brits do.

Bottle it up and bury it deep into the crevices of your soul.

I don't wanna do that, mate.

Not with Samira and Miles.

It's not healthy.

Or at least that's what Samira's therapist told her to tell me.

Do I need therapy?

Oh. I mean, extensive.

Okay. You're here and you're committing.

You gotta re-frame and put down roots.

Let this go and move on for Miles...

for all of you.

Thanks, Naveen the Peen.

You're welcome, Benedict Cumberbitch.

It's my neighbor.

Don't you make a move.

I'll be right back, Miles.

Be right back.

May I help you?

I'm Samira. I live across the street.

Gary Lawson. Pleasure.

And I want to introduce myself

so there are no more misunderstandings.

I'm not sure I'm understanding the misunderstandings.

You told the cops that you saw a Black person

trespassing on your property the other day.

That's what you said, right? - I'm sorry.

I had--I had no idea that was you.

Well, now you know. Yeah.

The house has been sitting vacant.

So, I figured anyone coming around

must be a squatter or a vagrant.

- Well, I'm a litigator. - Oh, well, look at that.

You know what they say when you assume?

You're an asshole.

Something like that, yeah.

Just so you know...

it wasn't a race thing.

It's usually a race thing.

I assure you...

Never mind.

You know what?

I'm not big on sweets.

No problem.

Doing some gardening?

I'm renovating.

House needs a lot of work.

But it has good bones.

Your phone seems to be crying.

Excuse me.

Bye, neighbor.

Somethin' not right about that man.

Remember what I say, Miles, believe women. Okay?

We have instincts, gut, maternal,

killer, basic instincts.

Rob? Oh, my goodness.

I thought I locked the door.

Nobody locks their doors around here, honey.

We do. We're lockers.

What the hell happened out there?

It was the smugness that pissed me off.

I mean, there was no remorse in his voice, zero.

Not an ounce.

Wow, you are a natural.

Oh, it's all muscle memory.

I was always good with babies.

Older kids, not so much.

And teenagers, forget about it.

They wake up one day and just decide to hate you.

My kids and I fought so much.

I'm surprised they never ran away.

But they adored Marty.

Everybody did.

I wish I got a chance to meet him.