The Cuckoo and the Donkey (Der Kuckuck und der Esel)

The Cuckoo and the Donkey

Conrad!

I'm proud of you.

You have the strength to achieve something that I wasn't granted.

And I will support you,

so God help me.

I know, Dad.

Thank you.

Everyone has a Weitzmann inside them. You get underestimated, you fight, you give up.

But the Weitzmann in you breaks the bonds and there's no going back.

I mean, I like the material,

but there's something still missing.

And? What's that?

We'll discuss on the phone some time.

You don't understand anything. No one's going to fuck with me.

We're going to do the film.

What firm please?

Wildgrill Schorfheide.

Hey Stuckradt! You're as white as snow.

Yep. Still, eh?

Stuckradt!

Nicolette!

How are you? Nice to see you.

You're looking good.

Hello Andreas!

You haven't done much in a while.

Cheers.

Mr Halmer, excuse me.

I've re-edited my tape. I wanted to give you a copy.

Ah, thanks.

You know, depression isn't always the end. Sometimes it's just the start of something...

A young lady asked me to tell you that she's been waiting for you.

Her name's Shoshanna. She said you'd know.

She's very beautiful, if you ask me.

Come with me. I'll show you the way.

Back in a moment.

Good morning, Mr Halmer.

I'm very glad you're here.

Mr Halmer is 41 years old, a TV producer,

and responsible for cinema co-productions at German state television.

Mr Halmer studied theatre in Tubingen,

dropped out,

then became dramaturg at the Waldbuhne in Erfurt,

and since 2003, so for 10 years,

he has been producer at a state TV network.

These recordings document what really happened.

If this ever goes to trial,

it will be acknowledged that

I worked on this material for a decade,

and banged my head against a brick wall with you for five years.

This is for you.

"The Orange Grove".

I would like to ask your forgiveness.

I'm fully aware that a kidnapping, let's call it that,

is only morally justified in an absolute emergency.

But this is what it was for me and my family.

We would like to apologise.

I am Conrad Weitzmann - with a "tz", you'll remember?

Five years ago, more than five years ago,

I sent you the story of the great love between Shoshanna and Safit,

"The Orange Grove".

To your department.

At the time you were the youngest producer there.

New... and they told me I should try you.

Since then we have communicated via this correspondence...

but nothing has actually happened.

That's why you're sitting here now.

You don't need to work anymore.

What a shot!

Right in the eye.

She's already a better shot than her battle-hardened old man.

I hope you're not vegetarian?

My father says you have to get behind the gate first.

Security first. Always.

My father says.

It's a bit embarrassing for me too.

Everything alright, son?

Yeah, course it is.

Good night, Mr Halmer.

And I'm sorry.

The knock signal wasn't right.

Dad, please. Open up.

Always say your name first.

Damn it.

Dad, it's me. Conrad!

I'm opening the door.

Thanks.

Rosel, please!

Just leave her alone.

Bread.

Cheese.

Are you sure he's not hungry?

I asked him twice.

Pass me the sausage?

We can't do any more.

If he's hungry he'll say so.

Delicious wine. To us!

To Mr Halmer.

- And to you. - And to Conrad!

I think the adjustment is getting to him.

He's more than welcome. There's nothing else I can do.

Maybe...

What?

Maybe he's scared alone in the cellar.

He's not a child anymore, Marlene!

We'll put a TV. He can watch films if he gets lonely.

It'll work out with Mr Halmer.

I'll keep him company a bit.

Only if it doesn't put you out. Okay?

You don't want anything to eat, Stuckradt?

I think he's just a bit tired. He's only just arrived.

We'll get you a TV.

Then it'll be a bit more comfortable.

Conrad, you want to work with me...

I don't understand.

You want to work with me on "The Orange Grove",

because you think I never listened to you.

The problem is... I never got your screenplay.

I would've remembered a title like that.

I told you, the title used to be "Shoah 2.0".

I would've remembered a title like that too. What I'm saying is, as sorry as I am

it's not my responsibility.

But I promise

I will recommend your material warmly.

Miss Trave would be the person to speak to.

Hang on.

Just a second.

Could I get some wine?

Of course.

Red or white?

I don't mind.Thanks.

Here.

Here's my email from...

05/02/2007

and here's the reply from 12/07/2007

Who did you write to?

Viola Trave.

Trave. She does minor TV productions.

"My colleague forwarded me your impressive debut work "The Orange Grove".

However since it is a cinematic work...

Please!

Thank you!

Marlene, please!

Oh, you're still working.

I better go.

"since it is a cinematic work, the department responsible is Cinema Co-Productions,

and the responsible producer is Stuckradt Halmer.

I am pleased to forward you his contact details,

and wish you every success, best wishes etc..."

I never got anything.

You never got anything!

Never got anything!

"Dear Mr Weitzmann,

We thank you for your screenplay 'The OrangeGrove'

since the story is more than 27 years old, it is a historical work.

But at the moment our network is focussed on the production of contemporary works.

On behalf of Stuckradt Halmer."

On behalf of!

I think I can assume that no one can write something on your behalf.

It just got stuck...

So... I set it in 2008.

Now read your next refusal.

But it is much too expensive shooting it in Israel.

Totally understandable reason.

They didn't shoot Star Wars in space either.

We're going to go through everything together.

We're going to read out loud,

and you're going to tell me why this or that doesn't work, or does.

If you convince me that my script is bad, I'll let you go. I promise.

And if I can't convince you?

Then - we'll make the film. Together. I promise.

You have lost a tooth.

A healthy one. That's very painful.

Next time I'm going to pull one of your incisors.

They have much better circulation. That'll hurt a lot more.

I told Conrad,

Mr Producer here will only cooperate with us

if he knows...

That we're serious.

Like how you Germans

were serious that time, with us.

I think Mr Halmer has understood.

Can you leave us alone please.

We have to talk about something.

Keep reading.

I made one great mistake in my life

I left my wife Shirlaine

when our daughter Monika was born with Down Syndrome.

There are always two people in a separation...

Please keep reading.

The guilt has overtaken me. I can't carry on.

Don't worry, I won't turn that on myself.

I can only be reached by email,

and then only intermittently.

From now on I will only care about things I've neglected for so long.

Thank you for your understanding. Yours, Stuckradt Halmer.

That's not how it was at all.

Of course a handicapped child is a burden, but that didn't have anything to do with Monika...

Everything's alright.

You know they can locate the position of a laptop.