Brassed Off

A few days, you say.

Not what l'd caII a light traveIIer are you, pet?

Sorry, it's mainIy work.

l wouIdn't apologise for having work, flower. Not round here.

What's this then?

It's just a flugeI, a trumpet.

l thought I might get some practice in.

In here, you mean?

-Well, wherever. -I wouldn't mind. Don't get me wrong.

There's nowt l'd like better than to hear you pIaying all night long.

-Oh, no. lt wouldn't ... -You heard of Grimley Colliery Band?

Yes, I have.

They've their own practice haII. I should get myseIf down there, pet.

They'd weIcome someone like you with open arms, knowing them.

Another?

lt's a sad oId day, isn't it Vi? When it's finaIIy come to this.

-What's that then Ida? -Jim and Ernie packing in the band.

They're doing it, then? For definite?

Last practice tonight, Ernie said. Then resigning after.

No point in carrying on, is there? Pit goes, band'll go t'same way.

I feeI sorry for oId Danny, mind. He'lI gave bugger all to do.

-We'lI all have bugger all to do, Vi. -You get used to it.

-All right, Iove? -Aye, all right.

Don't forget what you're doing, you Iads.

Don't be handing over any kitty money.

-Just resignations. -Aye, all right, pet.

-WeII, mind you do. -What do you mean "mind you do"?

-It was our decision, wasn't it love? -Aye, well...

just mind you do.

Now let's get this right, Ernie.

When he collects for t'kitty, we say: sorry Danny, but us two...

we've decided, in t'present cIimate...

to tighten our belts, Iike, and onIy spend money on essentiaI items.

Sorry. lt's been good and all that...

but now, we don't regard band as one of t'aforementioned essentiaI items.

And regretfuIIy, we feel obliged to tender our resignations forthwith.

-Right? -Right.

And then we wake up in CasuaIty.

If he goes barmy, it's not our fauIt.

-l mean what's t'worst he can do? -Have a heart attack?

What the hell, if Danny doesn't like it...

-boIIocks to him. -All right, Iads?

Oh, all right, Danny mate?

Sixty years between us, you and me, down t'pit, frightened of nowt.

When it comes to telling Danny-boy we're packing t'band in...

We're shitting bloody bricks.

and coming up later in the news...

continuing our regular reports on the Government's pit closure programme.

We visit Grimley CoIIiery...

which despite being one of the oIdest and Iargest mines in Yorkshire...

has nevertheless become the most recent candidate for closure.

AIthough the GrimIey miners, and their wives, seem very determined...

to fight on and keep their pit open...

a redundancy offer to the workforce is believed to be imminent.

The miners, united, will never be defeated.

The miners, united, will never be defeated.

Offers at neighbouring pits recently, have been too attractive to ignore.

ln the last few weeks, 7 pay-off packages have been offered to 7 pits.

All accepted, leading to 7 cIosures.

TroubIe is, I'm no bIoody happier when I'm winning.

DoubIe or quits?

No, best not. lt's kitty night tonight.

Cheer up Andy. lt might never happen.

Representatives of union and management...

meet tonight to discuss the Grimley redundancy offer.

Bloody going to though, in't it?

-See you. -See you.

Don't be a piIIock all your Iife.

Take t'money while it's stiII on offer.

A lot of foIk out there wouldn't Iike to hearthe way you're talking, love.

Aye, and they're alI as daft as you are.

AlI end up with nowt. Just Iike us.

Philip.

Late for practice.

-We'll taIk about it later, eh? -Later?

You'lI stiII be saying Iater when We're out on't bloody street.

There's always Mr Chuckles.

-I can do more of that. -Phil?

PhiI, PhiI.

You have a wife and 4 bloody kids here, a house nobody'll bIoody buy...

mortgaged up to the bloody hilt, loan-sharks on our backs...

no bloody money, no bloody job, and what are you going to do?

Fucking juggle?

Bit cIumsy with the crockery, your Sandra.

-All right, Iove? -All right.

Crap. That's what that was. A Ioad of bloody crap.

What did Eric Morecombe say? AlI the right notes...

but not necessarily the right order. What happened to you, son?

It just fell apart.

Aye, you're not the only one. Andy Iad, all over the shop, you were.

-What is up with you lot? -Got our minds on other things, Danny.

-Like what? -Blimey, you been on holiday or what?

How do you mean?

Well it may've escaped your notice, Iike, but pit's under threat.

What's that got to do with us?

Oh, aye, you're right, not a lot.

Now listen to me, aII of you. These are worrying times, I know that.

But look what it says here, eh? 1881.

Over a hundred years this band's been going...

two world wars, three disasters, seven strikes...

one bloody big depression and t'band played on every flaming time.

Danny, this is t'biggest disaster of t'lot.

Can't have a coIIiery band without a bIoody coIliery, can you?

Listen. We've got the NationaI Semi FinaIs coming up and we're capabIe...

I mean it, well capabIe of going through to London.

The first time in our history. The Albert Hall.

Now I know there's a spot of bother at the pit...

but that's something separate. This is music, and it's music that matters.

Now, come on, kitty fort'weekend.

Danny, me and Ernie, we've been thinking it over, Iike...

I know subs aren't much, but...

-present cIimate and that... -What are you saying, Jim?

Me and Jim have made a decision, Iike.

HeIIo, love, can we help?

ls this the Colliery Band rehearsal?

No, love, t'band's on Tuesdays. Tonight's origami class.

Take no notice, fIower. Can I help?

I'm staying at the pub. I play the fIugel.

WeII, sort of dabble.

Mrs Foggan said...

WeIl, she said you might let me play with you.

Down, boy, down.

l know it may sound Iike we need all t'help we can get, but sorry love...

l mean, usuaIIy, as a ruIe, we don't ...

aIlow, you know, outsiders.

Aye, I understand that, except l'm ...

not strictly an outsider. I were born in GrimIey.

Is that right, Iove? What's your name?

Gloria.

-GIoria...? -Stits.

GIorious tits.

Ernie.

MulIins. GIoria Mullins.

Arthur's GIoria?

-You're Danny, aren't you? -Aye.

-I didn'tthink you'd still be... -AIive and kicking?

-Oh aye Iove, just about. -No, l meant leading the band.

Yes.

Well come in, park your bum, park yourseIf somewhere.

If you didn't know him, you'd have heard of him, Arthur Mullins...

this young lady's grandad. Best bandsman l ever played with.

Bravest miner I ever worked with.

Closest friend I ever had, till his lungs packed in in '79.

-Sorry, Iove. -lt's true.

Good to see you back. Excuse me a moment, GIoria, I'm just collecting.

Jim, what were you saying? Something about t'present cIimate?

Oh aye, l was saying, Iike...

despite present cIimate...

you can always rely on our continued and whole-hearted...

-support for the cause. -Oh, aye. Solidarity.

Thick and thin, and alI that.

Lend us a fiver.

SoIidarity.

Do you remember me?

-Barry? Barry Andrews? -Andy Barrow.

Andy Barrow.

-God, you haven't changed a bit. -You have.

-What are you up to now, then? -This and that, y'know, keeping busy.

Hey, that's not...is it?

He Ieft it me in his will. Couldn't let it go to rust, could I?

Clever oId sod. Even when he were gone he made sure l'd take it up.

WelI I know it won't be t'same, but it'd be loveIy just to hear it again.

-OK. -What do you know?

Well, l've been practising...

-Rodrigo's Concerto D'A ranjuez. -You what?

-Orange juice to you. -Oh, aye.

-l'm a bit wobbly stiII. -Don't you fret, pet.

Wobbly'd be too good for this Iot.

Paul, the music. Bernie, get her a stand.

OK, everyone.

AlI right?

Are we aIl together?

Andy, Iad, are you with us?

Poor Iad. Still got your mind on that pit?

All right lads. Rodrigo's Concerto...

D'Orange Juice.

And she calIs that wobbly.

-Well done, lass. -Well done, love.

BIoody great.

-You doing anything at the weekend? -No.

Right lads, listen up. SaddIeworth tomorrow.

14 villages, love. Contest in each. AII at the same time. Cash prizes.

So, any road, lads...

big chance to swelI the coffers tomorrow, so...

we're going for all fourteen.

-Are you on, love? -lf l'm allowed.

Don't be soft, Iass. You were born here.

It's a profitable pit, this.

There's hundreds of years of coal down there...

but it doesn't matterto them bastards. We're making money for'em...

hand over fist, we are. And stiII they want to shut us down.

-WelI, teII them bollocks to them. -That's up to you Iot isn't it, Iad?

WeII, thank Christ it isn't up to you.

Jesus, we shouIdn't have even Iet the offer be put on't table.

They're just bIoody puppets, that Iot. They do whateverthe bastards want.

-Phil, Iad. -We didn't do what they wanted in '84.

No, we dug us heels in, didn't we?

Aye, and some of us got bloody Iocked up for it.

Big bloody deaI.

Hey, suspended I were.