Perfect

- Can I help you? - Well, I called for her last night.

Her husband died last night.

His picture was in the paper once, but you misspelled his name.

She wants to be sure you get it right.

- You see, it's not one, but two "I"s. - You want obituaries.

It's the guy in the back with the urn on his desk.

What funeral home was she taken to?

How old was she?

What did she die of?

Well, I have to know what she died of or I can't write the obit.

I don't make the rules.

Could I call you back? Thank you.

Excuse me, will you?

Tom?

Tom, look, I cannot take this anymore.

You got to get me off the obit desk. I can't write another obituary.

Calm down, Adam. Relax. It isn't going to last forever.

Think of it this way:

This is your last chance in journalism to write anything nice about anybody.

Perfect.

New York City - Five Years Later

So, you can't talk to me about the arrest.

Can you talk to me about after the arrest? You know, his time in prison.

It was terrible.

He was in shock the entire time.

He lost a lot of weight because he couldn't eat the food.

He couldn't sleep.

They had him in the same cell with a Mafia hit man.

- He was afraid to close his eyes for a week. - Interesting.

For a man like him...

that was cruel and unusual punishment.

I'll say.

What do you think, Charlie? Can you get him to talk to me?

He's not talking to any press, Adam.

He doesn't trust you guys.

I don't blame him.

There's been a lot of bad press lately.

I thought he'd want to tell his side of the story.

The only way to do that is an interview.

Especially if he feels that the government is screwing around on him.

Now, I didn't exactly say that.

Anyway, not for the record.

I don't want you to twist what I said out of shape.

Right.

The problem is, the only people that will talk to me are people that hate him.

And I'm doing this story whether I talk to him or not.

So don't fault me if this is a negative piece.

That sounds vaguely like a threat.

No, I think that if he wants a chance, he's got to turn his press around.

You reporters think you make the world turn.

I don't know about that.

You know, I used to be a reporter myself...

until I got tired of starving my family.

That's why I got into public relations.

- To make a living wage. I love it. - Yeah.

I really do.

Excuse me. I have to take a piss.

- Am I interrupting something? - No. Adam, come on in and look at this.

- Frankie strikes again. - Look at that. They're good.

At last someone has managed to capture his true essence.

Look at this one. I can't believe that she got him to do this.

Believe me, it was easy.

I think this will be the one we use on the cover.

- You like it? - I like it.

- You want to get some lunch? - Yeah.

- Frankie, you want to join us? - Absolutely.

How did it go this morning?

Fascinating.

He insisted we meet at the Atrium Club, saying it was a safe place to talk.

He implied the government had a reason for putting McKenzie out of business.

He was so nervous.

- But what about the interview? - He thought it was doubtful.

- There's no story without an interview. - Or without pictures.

You don't want to recycle the same wire service photos.

- I'd love to shoot him. - You'd make him pose with coke in his lap.

- I can make him do anything. - Come on, you guys.

I have an idea.

McKenzie has a hearing tomorrow, in Los Angeles, to reduce his bail.

But he needs the $2 million to pay his lawyers.

Why don't I fly out there tonight and get the interview?

- You hate flying. - I'm fine, as long as there's no turbulence.

When it starts bouncing around, I get drunk.

If you're going, let's find a story for you to do at the same time...

in case it doesn't work out. I don't want you wasting your time or my money.

You cheap fuck. You want two stories for the price of one?

Fine.

I have an idea for a story that would take place in California.

What?

I got the idea at the Atrium Club, this morning.

- Who would you be going after? - Not who, what.

- Excuse me, what will you be going after? - Health clubs.

- Groan. - No.

I'll do a story about how they're turning into the singles bars of the '80s?

Find a couple. Do a non-fiction love story.

- With pictures. - Lots of them. It could be hilarious.

Particularly set in Los Angeles. You know, inflated bodies. Airheads.

- Hot tubs? Alfalfa sprouts? - Absolutely.

We haven't done L.A. in a long time. It would be wonderful.

- Sounds great. - Shit.

- What? - Carly Simon just walked in.

Oh, God.

- She hated the story you did on her. - I know, I know.

- Hi, Carly. - Hi, Carly.

Hi, Carly.

- I read that shit you wrote about me. - Come on, Carly.

The only thing worse than being written about is not being written about.

There is a motion with respect to the bail for Mr. McKenzie.

- Is that correct? - It is, Your Honour.

- Yes. Is there a written motion? - No.

I'd like to make an oral presentation.

- You filed the notice? - Yes, Your Honour.

All right, then, go ahead and state your reasons.

Then the government may reply.

We are seeking a reduction in bail based on two major things:

One, Mr. McKenzie is simply not as wealthy as the government...

and the press, for that matter, imagines.

Let's leave the press out of it. They have nothing to do with setting bail.

Here they come.

- Charlie, what about the interview? - He's not talking to anybody.

- Period. - If he changes his mind, I'll be at...

He's not changing his mind. He's flying to New York today.

The Sunset Marquis.

The Sunset Marquis!

Hello.

- Adam? - Yeah.

- How's it going? - It's going fine.

He got his bail reduced, but I couldn't talk to him.

He had to go back to New York.

I'm working on some other angles. I'm trying to locate some friends of his.

I started the piece. It's real good.

- In other words, no interview? - Come on, Mark, please.

The story is great, and the material I have is terrific.

- It should be a cover. - You get the interview and we'll talk cover.

Simon & Schuster just made an inquiry for me to do this as a book.

Cover would help.

I'm not in the goddamn book business.

- Have you found a health club yet? - Yes, I found an ad in the phone book.

The club's name is The Sports Connection.

"Health club, racquetball, and good times.

"We're a totally new concept in athletic club.

"We're more than a club, we're a lifestyle."

Then it has this illustration of a couple in sports clothes hugging each other.

It sounds perfect.

What kind of story are you planning to do?

Maybe something about couples meeting here, falling in love

- getting married. - That sounds good.

Let's go down and get you a membership, so you can see what's happening.

Now that sounds even better.

Nanette, where did you get this idea to make this place...

more than a health club, like your ad says?

I looked around the city and I saw that people had had it with singles bars.

They even had the supermarkets staked out. That was getting boring.

Really?

There wasn't anywhere people could get together in a healthy environment...

and have some social interaction.

- Right. - Mr. Lawrence, hold it.

Michael and I, he's my partner, thought it'd be great to create a place...

like the lodge at the bottom of the hill in Aspen.

Where people could share a common interest.

- All right. - Phone, Nanette.

- Take a message, okay? - Okay.

My concept was to get people out of their potato chip bags...

into the club by convincing them it didn't have to be drudgery.

- That it could be fun. - Right.

- I'll get somebody to show you around. - Sounds good.

We have nine racquetball courts. These two courts are our challenge courts.

- The winner stays on, loser gets off. - Really?

Then, you have a lounge area.

It's a good place to sit and relax, before and after your workout.

Your entrance and registration area.

And then we have Pete's Pro Shop. They have the latest in workout apparel...

and racquetball equipment.

Then you have the snack bar. They have fruit juices, great smoothies.

- Beer and wine? - No wine, just beer.

- You can get a beer after your workout. - Good.

- And great sandwiches. - Sprouts?

- Definitely. - Yes.

- Are you into health food? - No, not really.

Okay, let's look at Body Dynamics.

What they do in here is personal fitness assessments.

They do cardiovascular testing, nutritional analysis...

hydrostatic weighing, or weighing the body underwater.

It helps determine your percentage of body fat.

Then, you have an hour-and-a-half-long consultation.

- And here we have the coed gym. - So this is where all the action takes place.

On the free weights, the universal equipment...

the Nautilus, and Icarian equipment.

- I feel guilty, all these people working out. - And the Lifecycle bikes.

- Hi, Bobby. - Hi, Linda.

- I miss you. I never see you anymore. - Adam, Linda. Linda, Adam.

Hello, Linda.

I mean it. I really miss you.

I worked up here as an instructor before I was promoted to sales.

- I see. - He used to work on my body.

- Looking good. - God knows, I try.

I'm still in the "before" group, not the "after," but I'm gonna get there.

- Where's Sally? - She's there, working out with Roger.

- Trying to make her tits even bigger. - Well, see you.

- Nice meeting you. - You, too.

- What's her story? - She was a mess.