10 Days In Sun City

Death is death. No matter how it comes.

Kill me if you will.

But do me a favor, send my corpse to Warri.

Akpos!

-Monika Lewinsky! -Look at my friend!

-Monika Lewinsky! -Look at my friend!

-Look at my friend! - What's up?

Look at my friend! What's up?

Your house is beautiful.

-Take it. -Your father!

- -Look at my friend!

You've stylishly set yourself up.

-What's up? -Leave me alone. Do you want to beat me?

You guys do so well in Lagos. You do so well in Lagos.

Look at this place.

-Take it. -Your father!

So you can't just tell your friend that you've gotten an endorsement.

Hmm?

I didn't know you were married.

And you didn't tell us back home. When did you get married?

Did you give me the husband?

Monika, do you live in this house all by yourself?

Hmm. It's grape, not sugarcane. Don't chew it recklessly.

-Quit asking dumb questions. -

Your girlfriend...

is pretty.

Of course.

She's my everything. This is Bianca.

Bianca.

Bianca is going to become the next Queen of Nigeria.

And I am her manager.

With your carrot head. What do you have to say?

- Bianca. -Hmm?

-You are truly a very beautiful woman. -Thank you.

I'll make sure you don't have any problems at all.

-Akpos said you're very nice too. -Of course I am. I mean... can't you see?

You know, Lagos is for very smart people.

And I see smartness behind that beauty of yours.

Like you, I came to Lagos three years ago with nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Look at me today.

You've done really well for yourself in three years.

Mm-hmm.

And if you stick with me, this will certainly be your story.

Monika.

Monika, Monika.

Hey, guy. The name is now Monique.

We won't be deceived with this re-branding in Lagos.

You know how we came up with the name Lewinsky?

Akpos, point of correction. I mean, a point of direction.

- Okay. -My name is Monique, dude.

No more Lewinsky.

Let me tell my girlfriend about it.

Bianca, you know how we came up with the name Lewinsky?

We caught Monika inside an uncompleted building

making out with our friend Igho.

Making out?

Put your tongue back in your mouth.

- -Put your tongue back in your mouth.

A cat that swims is not a catfish. You want me to show you the door?

- Okay, I'm sorry. -

Monique, we are here to register Bianca for the Queen of Nigeria pageant.

-Really? -They sent us some information.

I'm certain you will win.

Here's their address. Can you take us there so we can register?

Locate the address.

I should take you there?

Dude.

You're always full of your empty self.

You're always so full of yourself.

Huh?

There's something called a website these days and you can register on it.

Please, come with me.

-I came with someone. -She asked me to bring you in.

Ah...

Welcome, welcome.

How are you?

Please, where is Monique?

Monique. Come and sit down.

You are beautiful. You are beautiful.

I should have believed her when she told me that you were stunning.

You are an epitome of beauty. Sit down. Sit down.

You see, I have...

That's the way I like them:

Young and pure.

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

-Here. -Please, what's this for?

Money.

I don't want your money.

See, let me tell you.

People like me, have done the work that people like you should be doing.

Come.

Ah-ah!

I like them young and restless.

The way you're going about this thing...

Exactly.

Ah! That is the way I like it.

The way you... That...

Why are you running up and down?

See, I don't have the energy of Terry G to be running up and down and up and down.

Uh-huh.

Just keep it simple.

I'm Mr. Easy.

See, come. Just let this thing revolve around your bum bum.

Come. Come. See...

Ah, hey!

Man! See, my guy!

Monika.

-Monika! Monika! -Dude, dude, it's Monique!

How many times do I have to tell you?

Monika, your father.

-Your father. -Repeat it.

May God punish that Monique name.

You can be a monkey for all I care.

Are you insulting me?

-May God punish you, Monique! -What?

You think everyone is a prostitute like you?

May God punish you.

God, please punish this man's mouth.

This senseless fool...

I don't have the time to talk to any goat in yellow. Do you understand?

I never knew. I work very hard to make my money.

Is that why you've tried to prostitute my girlfriend?

See this goat and his horns.

Your girlfriend? Look at this idiot. Did you not say you're her manager?

And what difference does it make?

Please don't spit in my eye.

I cannot be moved by your threats.

Look how you open your nose like a hippo. Just look at this guy!

Anyway, I don't have time to argue with you. Do you understand?

Before I close my eyes and open them again,

you and that senseless girl should leave my house.

Wait a minute.

Is this what you call a house?

A place you got through prostitution.

Huh?

No problem.

If the both of you don't leave here in two seconds,

you will get whatever is coming to you.

Wait. Is prostitution a job? Is this life?

-Whore. Prostitute. Promiscuous woman. -

-Shameless. -Look at you.

You don't have a drop of shame.

I've sold my shame during the Warri crisis.

-I don't care what you think. -Take a look at your life.

-Your father. -Your real father.

Seyi!

Who's that?

Seyi, it's your guy Akpos, from Warri.

Akpos...

What? Akpos!

Seyi, long story. I'll tell you everything, but please...

-Man, life in Lagos is hard. - Of course, what do you expect?

Anyway, as I was saying, I need some money desperately!

Hmm. You need money?

Uh, if you can hang on till next weekend,

that's when I'm selling one of my kidneys to some Malaysian mafia guys.

So from there, I can raise funds.

-Seyi. -What is it?

-Sell your kidney? -You need to wake up.

This is Lagos, understand? It's the regular business we do here.

Buying and selling. It's called the "spare parts" business.

Body organs, kidney, liver, intestines.

Do you think everyone you see on the street has complete organs?

Even I have only one kidney remaining.

And that's the one I'm selling next weekend.

-Then I can gather some money for you. -God forbid.

Wouldn't you rather bet with NairaBet on Arsenal versus Chelsea and win money?

Kidney money is good money!

Okay, I've heard you.

Seyi, you will do me one favor.

-What is it? -Okay.

You see my delicate beauty over there?

-Sweet girl. -Yes, exactly. But don't think about it.

What's that supposed to mean?

We all know you to be a rapist in College of Commerce back then.

-What is wrong with you? No, no, no. -Bring your voice down.

Okay, okay. Is it because I let you into my house,

you believe you are allowed to insult me?

And you're even threatening me too.

-Shh. Bring your voice down. -Leave my house right now.

I was only messing with you.

You think you can just walk into my house anytime you desire, huh?

Maybe I should just throw you guys out and allow the agbero to pounce on her.

Then you'll know that you are better off with me alone.

-Bring your voice down. -Leave my house right now.

I was only messing with you. What is wrong with you? Relax.

I'm saying if anything happens to her, you'll see my "red eye."

Hmm.

Look at his head. Anyways, she's only here for the night.

She'll be heading for the beauty pageant camp before daybreak.

I'll be timing you. I'm watching the time.

You're lucky I'm now born again, or I would've taught you a lesson tonight.

- Seyi, Seyi. -What is it?