Frasier

This is exactly why I hate fix-ups. She's not coming.

Just give her a few more minutes.

- Come on, tell me about the cabin. - Oh, all right.

Well, Mom and Dad used to take us up there when we were kids.

Niles and I thought it might be a nice gift for Dad

if we took him up there again.

This is ridiculous. I'm being stood up on a blind date. I'm pathetic.

You are so insecure. God, where does that come from?

- Jessica will be here. - You said her name was Jennifer.

Jennifer? Jennifer goes out with a weatherman.

She's way out of your league.

Look, let me have your cell phone. I'll call her and see what's going on.

Frasier?

Oh, I'm sorry, Roz, the most striking woman just came in.

- It's probably Jessica. - It's not Jessica. She's with a man.

I don't know what it is about her.

I can't take my eyes off of her.

Do you suppose they're a couple? No, don't--

You have to go over there for me and find out.

- What? - You owe me. Come on.

All right, it's that table right by the counter. Go on.

No, Roz, Roz. That's the wrong table.

Excuse me. I know this is a little weird, but my friend over there

thinks you're really cute.

He wanted to know if you are on a date.

A date? Oh, no, Hank and I are just friends.

Oh, that's good news.

That's really good news. Hi, Hank. I'm Roz Doyle.

Uh, excuse me.

I suppose you noticed I was staring at your table,

and I was just wondering if that gentleman you're with--

- Is he your husband? - Oh, no.

- No. Boyfriend? - No.

- Oh, wonderful. - Would you like me to introduce you?

- He just broke up with someone. - No.

I-- I was--

I was staring at you.

- You were? - Yes.

Gosh, I know this may seem awfully bold of me.

I'm not the sort of man who hits on every woman he sees.

Excuse me. Hi.

Your friend said you wanted to know if I was single.

It's okay, you don't have to be embarrassed.

Yes, he does.

There's been a little mistake. You see, I asked my friend

to approach this lovely woman.

She mistook you for the woman I meant.

That's understandable, seeing as you're lovely as well.

It's just that at this moment, that's-- Well, I'm-- Many apologies.

Gosh, I'm sorry. Let me start again. I'm Frasier Crane.

Oh, you're Frasier. Hi, I'm Jessica, Roz's friend?

- Jessica. - Roz thought we might hit it off.

Indeed, we might have.

You see, if not for the fact that I've just met this woman

to whom I'd be glad to introduce you,

except I don't know what her name is yet.

You know, Roz can explain all this.

She's sitting over there next to that scowling woman.

Gosh, you know, you must think I'm some sort of a smooth operator.

No, not really.

I really am terribly sorry.

I'm Mia. Mia Preston.

Mia. Mia Preston. The children's book author?

- Yes. - My goodness. Panda In The Parlor?

Oh, wow, I love that book. I've read it a hundred times.

I'm impressed. Most of my readers can't even count that high.

Oh, no, I used to read it to my son.

Many is the quart of milk we poured in the back yard

waiting for the Oreo tree to grow.

Gosh, you know, I'd love to take you to lunch sometime.

- Lunch-- - Well, all right. Coffee?

Anything. I'd just like a chance to get to know you better.

Well, I-- Okay, you're certainly persistent.

Well, a wise woman once wrote:

"No cookie jar is up too high for a panda who will try and try."

Now you're scaring me.

Hey, Daph.

I see you're wearing your buffet pants.

They're hip waders.

I'm breaking them in for the weekend. Where's Fras?

He's probably off somewhere with that Mia.

Oh, yeah. Seems to be getting serious, huh?

You know, it's funny. You can always tell.

He starts using French words for no reason.

And that laugh, the giddy one.

After you, Niles. - Thank you. Hello, all.

There's a faux pas averted.

I almost wore my big rubber pants today.

They're for the trip. I'm nearly done packing.

I've just gotta get my fly vest and my tackle box

and there's one more thing.

We're taking off in a few hours, so depêche-toi.

Oh, yeah, earplugs for the car ride up. Thank you.

Oh, Dad, don't forget to pack some sturdy knee socks.

I should get some for myself.

You remember the insect situation at the cabin.

Good Lord, Niles, not this bug phobia of yours.

It's not a phobia. The mosquitoes up there are huge.

My first summer, I was chased off the end of the dock

by one the size of a pelican.

Dr. Crane, when do we finally get to meet this new girlfriend of yours?

She's on her way over here now.

She's gonna take me out to buy some new trousers.

This new diet she's got me on, I've lost my love handles

just when I needed them most.

- So, Niles, you got those movies? - Here they are.

- Thank you. - Movies?

- Shh. - Yes.

For Dad's birthday.

We had some of his old home movies transferred to videotape.

God, you know, I haven't seen these in years.

It's gonna be quite a hoot this weekend. Sure you don't wanna join us?

Gutting fish, watching home movies and hosing down your father's pants.

It does sound tempting.

Oh.

- Hi, honey. - Hi, Mia. Hi.

Come on in. Come on in.

This is Daphne Moon, and that's my brother, Niles.

- Oh, it's great to finally meet you two. Likewise.

So, what do you got there?

Oh, I baked some fat-free goodies for your trip.

- Where's the kitchen? - Right this way.

And there's a ton of muffins if anybody wants one.

Oh, not for me. I have some problems with allergies.

Really? Well, these are just wheat germ, oat bran, and carob.

Oh, well, throw in a sea scallop, you can call the paramedics right now.

She seems nice, doesn't she?

- You all right, Dr. Crane? - I'm sorry, Daphne. It's just that--

Mia looks exactly like our mother.

Mrs. Crane?

I've only seen photos, mind.

Now that you mention it, there's a resemblance.

It's not just a resemblance. She is the spitting image of--

I'm shocked Frasier didn't mention it.

- So, what do you think of her? - Oh, she's wonderful.

But, Frasier...

does she remind you of anyone?

- Oh, you noticed that too? Are you kidding?

- The minute I laid eyes on her. - Even I can see it.

Really? She does look a bit like Roz, but she's a totally different person.

You know, in fact, our relationship is unlike any I've ever had before.

Come on. Let's go buy you some pants.

Oh, okay.

Oh, wow.

Look at this.

I don't believe it.

Nothing's changed.

Niles?

Wow, I don't believe it. Look at this. Nothing's changed.

It's character, Niles. Look at this fireplace.

Your mom and I used to sit in front of the fire here holding hands.

And I wonder if that--

Oh, yep, it's still here.

That graffiti that you scratched into the floor.

That's not graffiti, Dad. That's a Latin pun, Semper ubi sub ubi.

Always wear underwear.

Oh, that will be Frasier and Mia.

I was really surprised he brought her here for the weekend.

What's she like, anyway?

Well, she made quite an impression on me.

I'm curious to see what you'll think.

Dad.

Hand me that valize. I wanna put on some bug repellent.

Oh, sure.

Oh, it's kind of heavy. What you got in there?

Bug repellent.

- Hello, Niles. - Hey, Frasier.

Honey, you stay out there as long as you like.

She can't take her eyes off that sunset. Everything all set?

I wanna make sure this VCR works for our little home movies later.

- Right. Splendid. - Check.

You know what? We're gonna need some more logs

from the woodpile. Come give me a hand.

- All right. Oh, Fras,

isn't it great to be back here?

You know, I wanna thank you.

- This is some gift. - You're welcome, Dad.

If you're enjoying this trip down Memory Lane,

wait till you see the other blast from the past we brought up here.

Come on.

Martin? Hi.

It's Mia. Oh, my gosh

Frasier did tell you I was coming, didn't he?

Oh! Yeah, of course he did.

Yeah, well, nice meeting you.

It's very nice to meet you.

- Well, it's so beautiful here. - Well, I'm glad you like it.

Are you kidding? I feel like I'm in heaven.

Well, I'm starting to feel that way myself.

Well, nice going, Niles.

- What happened? - Niles dropped a huge log

right onto my hand when he was startled by a moth.

It was not a moth, it was a bat.

I could tell from that eerie, high-pitched scream.

That was you.

I wish you'd start seeing someone about this bug phobia of yours.

It is not a phobia. I have a healthy fear of our natural predators.

It's us versus them, and I'm starting to wonder just whose side you're on.

It amazes me that a good psychiatrist can be blind to something so obvious.

Honey, your poor thumb. We should go put something on that.