Delivering Milo

*

this is behind you,

your past.

This is your hopes.

This is your fears.

And this is in front of you,

your immediate future.

- Baby? - excuse me?

Oh, oh, no.

No, god, no.

No, I'm sorry.

My--my feet are just sore, that's all.

No, no, no.

No, I'm not having a baby.

I mean, I am having a baby,

but just not right now.

But soon.

To tell you the truth,

I'm gonna miss it.

I mean, the pregnancy, that is.

I mean, it's just so darn convenient.

Once the baby's born,

it's gonna be so much harder to keep--

keep track of him.

Right now, it's so ideal.

He's easy to carry, no dirty diapers.

I'll have to worry about him running out into the traffic.

I mean, you know what I'm saying.

And another thing,

between you and me, my husband finds me sexy pregnant.

So why not just stay pregnant?

You know, I mean, why not, right?

I beg your pardon?

No english.

Oh, sorry.

Hello?

Hey, sweetie.

Hi, honey.

- How's the glowing mother-to-be?

Glowing.

I told your fortune.

- Come on, please! - One at a time.

One at a time.

Please, Milo.

Excuse me, is--

excuse me.

Is there a Milo here?

Uh, sorry, he's busy.

Okay, Curtis.

Let's see.

You want to know about your mother.

Hmm, yeah, i see her all right,

and she's, um, uh,

kind of a big woman.

But she's also warm and caring

and a fabulous cook.

She's gonna love you, Curtis,

all of you,

and trust me,

there's gonna be a lot of you to love.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, next.

- Milo, Mr. Gordon requests your presence now.

Oh, don't whine, ralphie.

I'm comin'.

You are in charge.

Yes, yes, Mr. Ralph,

but what if they don't want to come with?

- You didn't listen to anything i just said, did you?

- how you doin'?

How's it goin'?

Coffee?

Nice and warm, huh?

Now we got a big surprise for you, my friend.

You're gonna go on a little trip pretty soon.

Listen, you don't have to be scared,

'cause I'll be right here when you arrive.

*

Oh, sorry.

Wait.

Oh!

Wait!

Hey!

Wait!

- Come on, ralphie, old pal, old buddy.

Spill the beans.

What's this all about?

- Do I detect a hint of nervousness

in the ever-so-confident Milo?

Hmm?

Come in.

Hey, Mr. Gordon.

Uh, okay.

What'll it be?

Three-card monte?

Blackjack?

Two-handed bridge? It's your call.

- Close the door and sit down, Milo.

Here at the life training center,

we take our first few steps

on the journey to self-discovery.

You have made some imaginative and unique choices.

I will continue to follow your progress

with great curiosity,

but for now,

we have all decided that you are...

Ready to go.

Kevin.

Hey, boss.

Hey.

What?

What?

What?

You call the doctor?

- I just-- i just called the, um--

- you call the office? - Call the office.

Max, what are you doing?

I'm documenting the event.

Hey.

- I'm sorry, but I really don't think

I'm in charge here.

Never mind.

Okay.

Lucky--what is he doing?

We're not taking that.

Uh, you, uh...

You, uh, on the count of two.

One, two.

Perfecto.

Kevin.

Please-- - just take it easy, just--

you okay?

- Starting to hate-- is it too soon to hate you?

Ooh!

Ah! - that's it.

Here we go.

- Bye, Milo. - Bye, Milo!

- Have a good time. - Congratulations, Milo.

- Good luck, Milo. - Congratulations, Milo.

- Have a good time. - Pull up your pants, Milo.

- See you, Milo. - We'll miss you.

Bye.

No, no, dad!

No, I don't want to go!

I don't want to go!

No! no!

*

Milo.

Come here.

- Uh, do you think there could be

some kind of a mistake?

- Mistake? no.

Are you okay, Milo?

Okay.

No, I don't--no, honey.

Maybe this--

I think, uh-- maybe some kind of a mistake.

No, baby, no mistake, okay?

We worked extremely hard on this, remember?

You're just getting a little scared, that's all.

- I'm not scared. - All right, you're not scared.

Scared's the wrong word. - Hey!

Hidey-ho, everybody.

How are we doing?

Hey, fine. Fine.

Um, forgive my gum.

I just quit smoking this week,

and, uh, it's been

5 days, 3 hours, and 27 minutes.

- Good job. - Well, thank you.

So I understand that we're experiencing

a few contractions.

I'll take that as a yes.

Okay, uh, how long, and how far apart?

Two hours tops.

They're comin' every couple of minutes now.

- Ooh, impatient little rascal, huh?

Okay, okay, let me get in there and take a little look.

Thank you.

Okay, now I need you to relax

and breathe.

Uh, hiya, listen,

do you want to trade seats?

- But then I'll go to the wrong parents.

Well, what's the difference?

You know, they're all the same,