House of Lies

Previously on "House of Lies"...

That's right!

- You get a partnership! - What?

-And you get a partnership! -No. No way!

-Are you serious?!

We are on our way to Angeles Crest Highway.

Don't worry, I'll have Jeremiah home by 2:00, Mr. Kaan.

I'd like for you to advise the campaign.

All right, I want you to be part of this.

I'm not taking no for an answer.

- Ron Zobel? What the f...? - Oh, hi.

I got your message last night, man.

And the way you talked about working together,

And the way you talked about working together,

I'm yours, balls deep, my brother.

- Good morning. - Morning.

What the fuck is going...?

Try it now.

Try it now.

I forgot my key card the other day, too.

-Key card? -Yeah.

You know, I just keep it around my neck.

I'll get you a lanyard.

Oh, great.

A lanyard.

Yeah, bye.

Martin!

Get your ass over here! Come on!

You look rested, man. How was the cruise?

Anchors aweigh, huh? Anchors aweigh.

Anchors aweigh, huh? Anchors aweigh.

Yeah, it wasn't really that kind of a trip, Ron.

-Sorry, all right, all right. -Okay?

I had no idea I'd be coming back to fucking Quantico.

I mean, what clearance level

do I need to walk into my own goddamn office?

Did you get my e-mails?

Yeah, I got about 200 of the fucking things.

I hired you to mind the store.

Not turn it into fucking Gitmo.

Yeah, well, your store is in a sketchy hood, Marty.

And it's rampant with cyber theft, corporate espionage.

These upgraded security measures are how you stay in business,

not to mention put a spit-shine on the place

up your valuation, you know, getting K and A all sexy

for Skip Galweather and the Kohl brothers.

for Skip Galweather and the Kohl brothers.

Uh-huh.

Also positions you rather nicely to take over

once I leave, huh?

Well, you know.

-Big shoes to fill, man. -Yeah.

What, are you a size 12, 13?

Hey, Ron, is it hard for you to breathe like that?

What do you mean?

You know, with your nose jammed all the way up my ass.

So I hear you're about to close Delcour, huh?

Huh? Getting our cosmetic index all engorged

and tingly?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Not a goddamn thing.

Good luck today.

So you think voters will

just trade in their keys for a bus pass?

just trade in their keys for a bus pass?

Los Angeles loses its way as a first-class city

if we're relying on cars to drive us into the future.

I hear you; I understand what you're saying,

but launching major initiatives in-- what do we have?

Public transportation,

water conservation, and school reform in your first term?

Dude, it's gonna break the bank.

Seth, please, you have to set priorities.

They're all priorities.

What if... one of them wasn't?

They're all gonna face stiff oppositions.

I know that.

Look, that's what I'm talking about.

I mean, in our current political culture,

we've internalized the "no."

we've internalized the "no."

We don't reach for things anymore, because

what's the point? Nothing's gonna

come of it, anyway, so why even try?

But when we stop shooting for the moon,

I tell you, man, we... we die as a society.

Oh! If I weren't holding this bagel,

I would slow-clap

the shit out of this moment.

Um, Clyde, we're getting ready to head out.

You two will have to continue crafting empty promises later.

Well, now, wait a second.

What makes you think they're empty?

Um...

I've been alive.

Jeannie, do you want some more

cream cheese on your bagel?

Or are you fi-- you're fine.

Or are you fi-- you're fine.

- Okay. - Okay.

Seth Buckley,

this dignified woman is Jeannie van der Hooven.

Jeannie, this is...

Seth Buckley, running for mayor.

I recognize you from the

ten million campaign flyers

plastered to my windshield every morning.

I'm... I'm sorry, you have...

To tell us

more about your concerns.

I mean, we are eager to hear them.

- Thank you so much. - No, actually,

y-you have a little bit of cream cheese...

-Uh... -I can get that for you.

Mm?

See?

I do care about my constituents.

I do care about my constituents.

Hey, David Plouffe,

you still work for K and A?

Yes, actually, Marty-- Marty, Marty, Marty...

I want you to meet Seth.

Marty Kaan, this is Seth Buckley.

Seth Buckley, Marty Kaan.

-How you doing? -Nice to meet you.

-You, too. -And you know what?

-I think that is everybody. -No, not quite everybody.

So if you want to head on out, I'm telling you,

-you should get out right now. -Let... excu... rude!

Doug Guggenheim.

-So nice to meet you. -Hi.

Can we go now? 'Cause we do have a hair appointment to keep.

-Sure. -Great.

-Good luck with the campaign. -Thank you.

Very good talk today.

Sincerely. Okay?

You can let yourself out?

Yeah, yeah, actually,

actually, uh, hold on one second.

actually, uh, hold on one second.

What is her story?

Who, Jeannie?

It'd be cool if I call her?

Why would you call Jeannie?

Well, why do you think I'd call her?

I'm assuming you have her number?

Yeah.

I got her number, all right.

Oh, wow!

Can you believe all these free samples?

Douglas, those products are for black hair.

Douglas, those products are for black hair.

What in the fuck you gonna do with...

curling custard?

Don't forget to use a relaxer

before you put the custard in.

Yeah. I know.

I'm grabbing all these for Tess.

She gets a little kinky in the mornings,

and I don't mean the sex.

I also mean the sex.

Oh, yeah, vegetables-- not just for salad anymore.

Whether she wants a more relaxed look,

or a natural, or just to have fun with braids,

we offer a variety of organic conditioners

that will keep her hair healthy.

Go ahead, baby, give it a whip.

Oh... whew!

Well, snatch off your wave caps and set down your hot combs.

Well, snatch off your wave caps and set down your hot combs.

We are at the annual

Braxton Brothers International Beauty Sh...

Jesus!

...one of the largest trade exhibitions for black hair.

Come see the newest trends or...

set up a booth and cash in on the over $700 million dollars

that black folks spend every year to get their hair did.

Let the church say, "Amen"?

Amen!

Mm!

Oh, and these rather anxious- looking white folks here?

Oh, and these rather anxious- looking white folks here?

They are our clients, executives at Delcour,

third largest beauty company in the world,

promising to bring "Paris runways to your driveway."

Like countless European colonizers before them,

Delcour sees opportunity on this dark continent.

So we are just going to have to colonize...

...the colonizers.

Devin, we are so excited

to relaunch your brand under our banner.

All right. Marty.

All right. Marty.

Hey. So, have you reviewed the offer?

We have, and it's very generous.

We're almost there.

Almost?

Hey, who's gonna see change coming?

Me or these guys?

I cannot maintain an edge