Licorice Pizza

Oh, my God, you're, like, coughing.

- I actually like it. - Yeah, I like it.

This is an announcement about Picture Day.

Freshmen class portraits at 9:30.

Sophomore class portraits at 10:30.

Juniors will be during lunch.

That wasn't hard.

Shut up, bitch.

You shut up.

Feel like a man.

-Like a giant. -

- Cherry bomb! -

[romantic jazz song continues playing]

Comb?

Mirror? Comb? No?

Mirror?

Comb?

- Bonzai! -Oh!

Fuck off, asshole.

-Ugh! - I'll take it.

So what's your name?

Talkative. I like that.

How's your day going?

Yeah.

Dinner tonight?

Are you asking me out?

Yes.

I'm not going on a date with you. You're 12.

-You're funny. I'm 15. -

How old are you?

You're not supposed to ask that.

You're not supposed to ask a girl how old she is.

Annoying.

You're right, it doesn't matter to me.

How are you gonna pay for dinner?

If I say yes and we go on a date for dinner,

how are you gonna pay?

-You say everything twice. -

-I don't say everything twice. -You do. You do.

What is this, "Say everything twice"?

Come on. How are you gonna pay?

Do you go to the movies?

Of course I go to the movies.

Did you see Under One Roof?

Yeah.

You're looking at Tony.

There's, like, a million kids in that movie.

I don't know a Tony.

I want you to have dinner with me, not my work.

I'm not trying to brag,

but you did ask how I was gonna pay for dinner.

You're such an actor. You're such an actor.

What else have you been in?

-This House is Haunted. -No.

-Two Beds, Two Baths. -Mmm-mmm.

I've done three sketches on The Merv Griffin Show.

Did you ever see me on the...

All right. Don't list your whole resume, it's braggy.

I'm not going on a date with you, man. You're 15.

"Man."

I like that.

"Kid," how about that?

I'm not going on a date with you, "kid." You're 15.

Don't call it a date. It's not a date.

Just come say hello.

I like the way you look.

-I like talking with you. -

Where do you live?

-Encino. -

Encino? I live in Encino. Where in Encino?

On Hatteras.

-Hatteras and what? -Ugh. Creep.

"Hatteras and what? Hatteras and what?"

I'm not telling you where I live, creep. Come on.

-I'll be at the Tail o' the Cock tonight. -I don't care where you'll be.

I go there every Thursday for dinner.

I don't care where you eat. Wait, where are your parents

-while all this is happening? -They're working.

They're working. Just come say hi.

Just shut up.

I'll tell you what I'm doing.

I take my brother Greg to Tastee-Freez around 6:30,

he's in bed by 7:30.

Wait, you go all the way from Encino to Tail o' the Cock for dinner?

I live in Sherman Oaks.

Oh, come on.

I take my brother Greg to Tastee-Freez around 6:30,

he's in bed by 7:30.

I slip around the corner to Tail o' the Cock for my dinner.

That's where I'll be.

I'm not trying to pressure you.

You are pressuring me.

You are. That's what you're doing.

If you wanna come and say hello,

if it's convenient within your plans,

-I'd love to see you. -

"Convenient within my plans"?

Wait, you leave your brother alone? How old is he?

-He's eight. He's nine. -

You're hilarious.

You can't even keep your own stories straight.

What are you? You're like a little...

Robert Goulet, Dean Martin or something.

-Where do you come from? -Sherman Oaks.

Ha! Sherman Oaks.

-Hi, Alana. - Hi, Cindy.

Did you know we got a big movie star here?

Gary Valentine.

Your name is Valentine?

Valentine.

Should I get an autograph?

Don't bother.

I've been right here the whole time.

I get this feeling I was meant to know you, Alana.

You know I'm 25, right?

I can be your friend but I can't be your girlfriend.

That's illegal.

-You give me hope. -Shut up.

This is fate that brought us together.

-This is fate. - Shut up.

Card.

-Right here. Okay. -I mean, I'm trying

-to spend my time with you. -Oi, oi.

-Is that bad? -Stop, stop that. Oi.

Turn your legs around.

Not too down, so look up, look up. Uh...

Close your mouth just a little bit.

Just see a little bit of teeth.

Little bit of teeth. Little bit of teeth.

Go on, like a tiger. Off it. Go.

Next. Next.

How have I never seen you before? How have we never met?

Stop talking so much, slimy.

We'll see. I doubt it, but we'll see.

Now I gotta get back to work and you have to get back to class.

Stop using time as an excuse, Alana. Our roads took us here.

Stop sounding like a philosophy guy,

Albert Einstein. Maybe I'll see you later.

I'm not gonna see you later.

Put your chin up just a little bit like that, Laura.

- -

Chin up, chin up.

[jazz music playing softly on speakers]

- Hey, Gary. Hey, Greg. - Hey.

I met the girl I'm gonna marry one day, Greg.

Oh, yeah?

And you're gonna be my best man.

So, two down and Garvey the batter.

I'll be at the Tail o' the Cock if you need me.

Love you, Greggo.

Love you, too.

Steve finished the regular season with 111 RBIs,

-three more than Jimmy Wynn. -

Sixth inning with the Dodgers leading two to nothing.

Two runs, three hits, and no errors.

Remember, there are still tickets available

for Tuesday's game.

You can get them today

at the Dodgers ticket office on Stadium Way.

And the pitch is high, ball one.

Don't be creepy, please.

Foul ball up the middle.

Will you stop with the googly eyes?

Excuse me, Don.

Can I have two Cokes?

Sure, Gary, you got it.

Thank you.

[soft jazz music continues playing]

Stop.

What?

I can hear you breathing.

Stop.

-Breathing? -Yes.

So, Alana, what are your plans?

I don't know.

What's your future look like?

I don't know.

How do you like working at Tiny Toes?

I hate working at Tiny Toes.

You should start your own business.

What business should I be in?

I don't know. What do you like?

I don't know.

You're an actress. You should be an actress.

[soft jazz music continues playing]

So how'd you become such a hotshot actor?

I'm a showman.

-It's my calling. -Ugh.

I don't know how to do anything else.

It's what I'm meant to do.

I mean, ever since I was a kid, I've been

-a song and dance man. -Come on.

Ever since you were a kid?

Song and dance man?

Where are your parents?

-My mom works for me. -Oh, of course she does.

-Yes, she does. -That makes sense.

In my public relations company.

In your public relations company?

-Because you have that? -Yes.