The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell

On the top of a dark and distant mountain

there is a beautiful and talented woman

who uses her unique skills of baking, sculpting and sewing

to create delicious confections

and hauntingly disturbing decor.

She finds beauty in the art of darkness with each creation

and shares them with us,

the unusual creatures she has taken into her home.

Join us in her delightfully dark world.

Welcome to The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell.

I want another one.

I'm not so sure, after what you did to poor Mr. Bailey here.

Well, I thought his skull would be full of candy.

- Alright, go ahead. - Yeah!

Ugh.

Slowly, you're gonna split another seam.

Rose, when you're done, would you help me in the kitchen?

- I think we're gonna have company soon. - Who's coming?

- Someone I sent for. - I hope it's Animal Control.

By the way, Rose is leaking all over the floor.

- Again. - No, that was already there!

Ugh. This place is a mess!

I can't live like this!

Rose, come along.

You should just seal up her mouth and solve all our problems.

And don't touch it.

I'm saving it for later.

Eurgh. I can assure you that won't be an issue. Animal!

So, what you making?

Your comment in the other room about the skull got me thinking about a treat

that you and our visitor might both like.

With Rose as your muse, I can only imagine what you have in mind.

- So, I take it you like skeletal remains? - Yeah.

- And chocolate and peanut butter? - Yeah.

Well, what would you say to me making peanut butter-filled pretzel bones

dipped in chocolate?

Peanut butter? Pretzels?

Chocolate?

Now if only she'd stay that way.

We've all had a late night guest

or a hungry little critter craving a bedtime snack,

but midnight is no time to get lazy

and the kitchen of the perfect hostess never sleeps.

Who is she talking to?

So, the recipe we're going to be making today

is comprised of simple ingredients

that you're either going to have in your home

or can gather with a quick trip to the supermarket.

So once you combine your creamy peanut butter,

good quality butter,

confectioners' sugar, as well as a very high-caliber vanilla,

with just a touch of salt,

you should end up with a mixture that's something like this.

You're going to be taking this sugary concoction

and using it as sort of a moldable clay,

that is very delicious.

So your first step is going to be making little balls.

If you do find that the mixture begins to stick,

it just means it needs a bit more confectioners' sugar.

So, ideally, each of the bones should have four little circular nubs at the end

with a pretzel rod running through it for strength.

For the outer layer of the pretzel,

you're gonna get a larger piece of your peanut butter dough.

Try to get it to a good consistency,

so it will hold and adhere to your pretzel rod.

Aah.

Using a rolling pin...

And that should give you a good initial coat of the pretzel rod.

And err on the side of this being a little too thin,

because not only will you be shaving it down,

but you'll be dipping it in chocolate,

and you really want the chocolate to build up

a decent amount of the body of the bone.

You can use the back of your nail to help sculpt some of these.

But really getting this first coat as smooth and nice as possible

is gonna help later down the road.

Once you get a shape that you like

and it's been nice and chilled in the freezer for a decent amount of time,

usually about two hours or until firm to the touch,

you're ready to start shaving it down

and preparing it to be dipped in molten chocolate.

So a potato peeler is going to be your best friend during this process

in smoothing out the bone.

Ooh. Very clever.

This is where sculpting tools really come in handy.

Getting everything as smooth and nice as possible in the peanut butter stage

is the safest way to end up with a really beautiful finished bone

that looks as good as possible.

Now, to temper your chocolate,

get about an inch of water,

place a bowl on top of it,

pour your chocolate in there

and temper it till it's nice and creamy and smooth

and the heat is well-circulated.

At this point, a whisk would be very helpful.

Millie, would you mind?

Oh. Thank you.

So now that the chocolate is just about the right temperature,

we're going to pour it into a bowl

that is just the right size to dip the bones into.

Fascinating.

I'm using a spoon to coat every inch of the bone, but you just need a thin layer.

Let's pop this back in the freezer for about 30 more minutes.

So now that we have the general shape that we're going for,

we're gonna continue sculpting it down,

just before painting and finalizing.

Keeping in mind the bone is the thinnest in the center.

You can smooth the nubs with the palm of your hand

to make sure you have a really beautiful finish.

Don't forget that realism is the goal of what you're doing.

So really taking your time and making sure you're replicating a realistic texture

is pretty key.

So, now that we have a pretty smooth sculptural shape,

we're going to do a couple little textures

with some sculpting tools, mainly pitting.

Which, if you look at any old, desiccated bone,

it's gonna have all these little grooves, pits,

and little tiny crevices, basically,

which I'm making by drilling into the bone using a potter's needle.

The final step will be to ever so lightly airbrush

a little bit of shadowing in the creases of the bone,

finishing by just doing a couple little streaks with some food coloring.

The last little touch we're gonna be doing

is with a fine point brush,

delicately filling all of those little pits that we did

to give as much realism as we can possibly achieve.

And there we are,

with a perfectly edible, delicious cookie bone.

And this should be perfect for the little monster in your life.

- Rose? - Yeah?

Would you like a cookie?

Yeah, I want a cookie!

Wha...

If you keep feeding her, she'll never leave.

I'll get it!

Mm, I better go make sure she doesn't attempt

to fornicate with whatever's there.

- Yes, you just keep eating that bone. - Mm.

Whoa!

You poor thing!

I'm dying.

Kill me.

There we go.

There's a note around his neck.

I'll read it.

It's upside-down.

"Do not feed him fish"?

"Don't feed him flesh."

Well, that makes sense.

Whoa!

Edgar, there's no need to be frightened.

He stinks.

Coming from you, that really says something.

All right, that's enough, you two. He's been through a lot.

So... he's a what now?

To be honest, I'm not really sure.

But his name's Edgar, and I don't think we need to worry ourselves over labels.

- How do you know all of this? - Good heavens, it talks!

She just knows stuff, okay?

And if she or I see you get one step out of line,

there's an incinerator in the basement that will burn you alive.

You will do no such thing.

I apologize for Rose, introductions are not really her strong suit.

Indeed, her talents include binging on trash

and an insatiable libido with the neighborhood dogs.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

What is this place?

This is our home, and it's a place where the strange, unusual...

- and Rose... - Yeah!

Are safe and welcome.

Our kind is protected here.

Yeah, I was crushed in a garbage truck and she remade me, better.

What about you, squirrel? She make you also?

I am a cat!

And resurrected would be more accurate.

He really was rather pitiful when I met him.

Just wasting away on a shelf.

I was once revered as a god, until some jealous humans

buried me alive and cursed me.

Yes, later I was stolen from my tomb and wound up in an antique shop.

Christine was good enough to accurately read the spell on my burial cloth,

and now...

here we are.

You may worship me if you like.

You talk too much.

All right, you guys, that's enough chatter.

Edgar, I have a surprise for you.

- Come this way. - Hm.

It's okay. You're fine. Come here.

Have a seat.

Alright, you won't be needing this anymore.

I'll be back in just a moment.

Rose, Rankle.

Please make our guests feel at home.

Yeah, we'll have so much fun, and we'll play games

and sing songs and...

Listen, pal!

I don't know what your deal is,

but don't plan on stayin' long, if you get what I mean.

You smell like a zoo.