Invader Zim

Wa... ha ha ha ha ha!

That was great, Mr. Sludgy.

Now will you tell us the story

of the most horrible Christmas ever?

Ha ha ha ha, no, little girl.

No, I won't.

Wait! Yes, I will.

Well, it's a little hazy,

but it all started 2 million years ago,

with a little green nuclear mole named Zim.

Now Zim hated humans more than anything.

Stink! Stink! Stink! Stinking humans!

But he didn't know much about Christmas, now did he?

Watch it eat snow!

You! Watch the eating!

Argh! The amazing snow eating trick isn't working!

The filthy, horrible humans aren't giving us any Earthmonies!

We need Earthmonies to appear as normal Earthpigs!

Ai-ya!

Minimoose! How much have we earned?

Tuna?! Tuna is worth nothing!

Why does no one give monies to Zim?

There! That grubby red human!

He's taking all my monies!

Yahhhhh!

You! Stop stealing all the--

Hmm! Huh? Ohh!

He's got reinforcements!

They're everywhere! What are they?!

Zah! Mmmph.

And what do you want, little boy or girl?

I wants me a barrel of floss,

I wants me two balls of glue to be my friends,

and I wants to go dancing naked,

and I wants...

...and a chair made of cheese

and a table made of cheese and a...

Stop! No more!

Get this kid away from me!

My little child just loves you,

and I just-- Now, GIR!

Let's go before anyone notices!

Argh! What is that?

Oh, that's Minimoose, my, uh...

Other sidekick. Yeah.

Yep. Been with me the whole time.

Mmmm-mmmm!

No candy for you, chub monster,

until you tell me everything you know about

these red bearded men who smell of ham and vomit!

Oh, you must mean Santa.

You are Santa?

No, no. We're just Santa's helpers.

And you all report to this... Santa?

Well, nobody's ever seen the real Santa,

but the world over loves Santa.

And everyone waits with hope in their hearts

for the day when he returns to his people.

Everyone? Hmm.

Computer, drain the human's brain of all Santa knowledge!

"X-mas"? Hmm.

You stare at that dog every Christmas, Gaz.

Come on, already. It's creepy.

Three Christmases ago,

that dog ate the head off Bitey the Vampire.

You said so yourself. I haven't forgotten.

Well, fixing an alien spaceship

is hard enough without you distracting me.

Besides, any moron could fix this ship faster than you.

Well... can any moron do this?

Sorry, everyone!

Again!

Power is restored to the Earth once more.

It's a good thing I exist.

Oh, no! Santa!

Yes, Santa Claus himself has returned to his people

and just in time for Christmas. Check out this footage.

The response has been overwhelming.

I can't believe he's back!

My heart explodes with joy!

And even our president man has given up his power,

making room for Santa.

It's all yours, Santa.

We have Santa himself in an exclusive interview.

Santa, speak to us.

People of Earth, I have returned.

To reclaim my rightful place as ruler of this world.

All will obey Santa in this new world order.

Oh, yeah! Rejoice, brothers.

Ha ha. That sounds like a lot of fun.

I've never trusted that jolly fat man.

Oh, boy! I asked Santa to bring me

12 cases of uranium-238! Yay!

No! Santa has let me down!

I will turn my back on him

and devote a portion of my life to destroying Santa!

Aaaagh!

Aaaaagh!

Jeez, Dad.

Oh, yeah! And I command all you Earthmonkeys

to gather at the jolly Christmas rallies

I'm holding all over the globe

to receive further instructions.

Earthmonkeys? Oh, no!

That sounds like a lot of fun.

This is not going to be easy, GIR.

Look at all those...

children!

People of Earth,

I give you Santa claus.

San-ta! San-ta! San-ta! San-ta! San-ta! San-ta!

Ho ho ho!

Santa has returned for

all the good little boys and girls of the world

to announce a new Christmas tradition.

It's the yuletide helping of Santa to build

a giant teleporter capable of sending

all humans to their doom! Ha ha ha ha.

My labor sleighs will take you to the north pole,

where you will build the teleporter!

Will being teleported to our doom

be fun and Christmassy?

Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Of course it will, you hideous fool!

Hail Santa! Hail Santa!

Santa master? These cute kids

would love to sit on your lap

and beg for presents.

Pwease, Santa? Pweeeeeease?

Great ghost of dookie!

Eh, eh... of course, filthies!

Eh, come to Santa.

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Ho ho ho-- Ow! Ow! Ow! Eww! Eww!

Drool! Get off! Wait!

What's happening?!

Ho ho ho, children! I love you! All of you!

Elves, wrap up everything I have

and give it to these good people here.

No! Give that stuff back! And get off of Santa!

Now! Get off, get off, get off!

I didn't tell the suit to do any of that.

What's the matter, Santa?

Dib!

How do we know this is the real Santa?

Eh, of course I'm Santa.

I have robot elves.

Robot elves! Just like in the stories!

What stories have robot elves?

Everyone, remember last Christmas

when you thought that escaped gorilla was Santa?

He wasn't?

Now, now, Christmas is a time to be kind

to all the boys and girls of the world.

Unless their heads are filthy with lies!

To the jingle jail with the non-believer!

No! No! Ah! Ah! No!

You won't get away with this, Zim!

I won't let you ruin Christmas!

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Merry Christmas, Dib. Meeeeerrrrry Christmas!