Move Over, Darling

Order. Quiet!

Order. Order. There's too much noise in here.

What? Never mind who's making the noise.

I want it quiet in here.

And you down there- stop that whispering.!

This is a court of law, not a public library.

Oh, sorry, Your Honor.

Uh, are the parties present in the matter...

of Mrs. Ellen Wagstaff Arden?

Mr. Nicholas Arden?

- Present. - I don't want to bother with this.

It looks too complicated. Let it wait.

Wasn't I supposed to marry some people?

- Where are they? Wasn't that for today? - If Your Honor please-

Just be still.

Aren't you the party that was doing all that whispering down there?

- Well- - Just be quiet.

What do you mean, "the same fellow"? This is a petition.

- Well, his wife is the one that- - Oh, really?

Where does it say that?

Well, what do you know about that?

- Are you, uh, Nicholas Arden? - Yes, Your Honor.

- I am, Your Honor. - Aren't you represented by counsel?

I'm a member of the bar, Your Honor. I'm presenting my own case.

Oh, trying to save yourself a buck or two, huh?

Here. "Airplane crash in Pacific Ocean."

Uh, yes, sir. My wife was aboard the plane that was forced down in the storm.

It's been five years, Your Honor.

This is a petition to have her declared legally dead.

Is that what it says in here?

- Sorry, sir. - Not at all. It was very nice of you to tell me.

Now let's see what I can find.

"Ellen Wagstaff Arden.

Two infant children."

Oh, how tragic.

That's sad. Very sad.

Two little babies, and you let her fly off to a watery grave?

Well, we both flew off, Your Honor.

Uh, I had business in Australia.

She'd had so much trouble with the children -

the teething and all - well, I took her with me.

Yes, it says so here.

Let's see. "En route from refueling stop...

forced down in rough seas."

Let's see here. "Life raft."

Young woman...

would you stop jangling those cowbells?

You mean these, Your Honor?

If I hear one more jingle jangle, I'll really get after you.

There's such a thing as contempt of court, you know.

- Weren't you in the same life raft? - Well, no, sir.

The women took the first rafts. The men took what were left.

We were all separated during a storm.

- It's all right here in the brief. - Keep your hands out.

Is something wrong, Your Honor?

Yes, there's plenty wrong. My arthritis is killing me.

And your jabbering isn't helping me get out of here any faster.

- Now, just stick to the facts. - They're in my brief.

Then stop interrupting and let me read them!

Is there any proof of loss?

Uh, page seven, I believe.

I see.

Oh, that's page four, Your Honor.

I know it's page four. It says "page four" right here.

Oh, yes. Here it is. It's page seven!

Any depositions?

Uh, they begin here on page-

Where'd you study law anyway?

- Harvard, sir. - Yeah? Might have known.

A Yale man myself.

Well, let's see. "Husband"-

Your Honor will see that there is, uh, no opposition to this petition.

And all survivors agreed that, uh-

- "Said Ellen Wagstaff Arden had been swept overboard- - Swept overboard...

Before aid could reach her.

- Deposition appended." - Quiet!

- Well, I'd like to explain, sir. - There's nothing to explain.

Testimony is here. Sworn affidavits.

No evidence to the contrary.

The law is clear.

I hereby pronounce Ellen Wagstaff Arden legally dead.

Wasn't I supposed to marry somebody?

Yes, Your Honor.

- Us. - What? Already?

Well, it's been five years, Your Honor.

Five seconds in the eyes of the law.

Your wife wasn't dead until I said she was dead.

Sure you don't want more time to think about it?

- Oh, I'm sure he doesn't. - I didn't ask you, young lady.

Your interruptions have been prolonging this case...

and causing me extreme mental and physical discomfort.

I'm sorry, Your Honor. I know how painful arthritis can be.

Oh, you do? Do you know the kind I've got?

Where your bones begin to crumble like old peanut brittle?

Has Your Honor ever considered psychotherapy?

Are you one of those couch nuts?

Well, if you mean psychoanalysis...

surely Your Honor doesn't discount the contributions Freud has made...

to the relief of human suffering.

Freud's dead, probably from arthritis.

Now, just be quiet, if that's possible.

Well, are you gonna answer the question...

or is she going to talk for you the rest of your life?

- I've forgotten the question, Your Honor. - Darling, he asked you-

Uh-uh-uh!

I asked if you wanted to marry this woman.

Why, certainly, Your Honor.

Harvard man.

Can we have some pictures, Captain? This is front-page news.

- Five years on a desert island. - Mrs. Arden! Mrs. Arden!

- Where you going? - I've got to call my family. Where's the nearest phone?

- Oh, the booth's over there, Mrs. Arden. - Thank you.

- Oh! Does anybody have a nickel? - Phone calls are a dime now.

- A dime? Why? - Stamps are a nickel.

- Oh. - Would you like for me to make the call?

- Break the news to them for you? - Oh. Uh-

Five years. It may be a bit of a shock to them.

Thank you very much, Captain, but if you don't mind, I'd like to.

This is the greatest Navy rescue since we fished Gordon Cooper out of the drink.

- You have dialed an incorrect number. - Oh, Operator, are you sure-

Please be sure that you are calling the right number and are dialing correctly.

- I know it's right, Operator. - This is a recording.

- I-It's my home. - You have dialed an incorrect number.

Crestview 5-4699 in-

Be sure you are calling the right number and are dialing correctly.

- But it is the right number. It's always been our- - This is a recording.

You have dialed an incorrect-

- Operator. - Operator, I'm dialing Crestview 5-4699...

and a recording said that I have dialed an incorrect number.

I know it's the correct number because for the past eight years we have had the same number.

Crestview 5-4699...

is now 275-4699.

275-46- Oh! Whatever it is, would you please get it for me?

- Thank you. - You may dial 275-4699 direct.

- 275- - 4699.

- Thank you. - The area code is 213.

- What's the area code? - 213.

213.

- You may dial 275-4699- - Wait.

By first dialing 213.

213-275-4699.

213-475-

- No. 213-275-4699. - Oh!

- Oh! - Would you care to make a note of that?

Operator, would you just wait a minute, please?

Does anyone have a pencil?

We can drive you home a lot faster than you can get that call through, ma'am.

- Would you? Thank you. - The navy's pleasure.

- Oh, but first we'd like to get some pictures. - Pictures?

For the newspapers. Mrs. Arden, you're a real public interest story.

Oh, no. Please don't. No, I'd like to see my children first.

- Uh, y-you do understand that. - Well, of course.

It'll be enough of an adjustment they'll have to make without the world looking on.

You take all the time you need, Mrs. Arden.

- After all, this is the silent service. - Thank you.

- We have a car waiting for you, Mrs. Arden, right this way. - Oh, good. Excuse me.

Oh, Dr. Schlick was so right.

I'm really ready for a ripe, mature relationship now.

Is that why you married me?

- Just a prescription from your analyst? - Don't be silly, darling.

I can hardly wait to get to Monterey.

Uh, you'll have to.

The State Highway Commission frowns on commencing a honeymoon in a vehicle.

- Hmm? - It's a moving violation.

Thank you very much.

Thank the whole United States Navy!

- It's your turn. - I can beat you.!

- No, you can't.! - Yes, I can!

- You missed! You missed! - I did not.

You did too. You stepped right on the crack.

I did not. Anyway, you made me.

You have to start over again.

You splashed water in my eyes. No fair.!

Stop splashing.

That's no fair.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hi. - Shh.

I'm walking a tightrope.

Oh, well, I see you are, and you're doing very nicely.

Who are you?

I don't think you remember me, but I remember you.

Are you a lady or a man?

- I used to be a lady. - Are you a sailor?

Well, not really, no.

Some sailors helped Daddy look for our mother once.

She drowned, in the ocean.

- Did she? - Long time ago.

We're the only one in our whole school who has a "drownded" mother.

Would you like to have her back?

Can't have her back. She's "drownded."

Like this- glug, glug, glug.

Um, tell me something. Do you miss her?

Every Easter, Daddy takes us to put flowers on her grave.

Her grave?

Don't be sad. She's not in the grave.

She's at the bottom of the ocean- the deepest part.

Oh, I know.

Tell me about your school, what you do and everything.

We're not supposed to talk to strangers.

L- I'm not really a stranger. I know your daddy.