The TV Set

All right. You're gonna park in A-106.

- Okay. - So at the stop sign, make a right.

Another right at the panda. It's on your left.

Okay. Thank you.

Tell me about it.

Remember Coach Roberts?

I have this recurring dream about the guy.

I'm ninety years old and I have dentures.

Except I'm in my high school gym class.

Everybody's the regular high school age. I'm the only one who's ninety.

And Coach is yelling at me I'm going...

" Dad, get off my back. I'm friggin' ninety, okay?"

Coach is yelling at me and I'm going, "Give me a break".

Give me a break! Give me a break! Give me a break!

"Give me a break! I'm friggin' ninety!"

- Hi. - Name?

Zach Harper.

- ID? - Oh, yeah. Sorry.

This is my first network session.

I'm kinda nervous.

" Give me a break!" What is with that line? Give me a break. "Give me a break. "

"Give me a break. I'm friggin' ninety years old!"

"I'm friggin' ninety years old, okay homes?"

No, don't improvise. They hate that.

" I'm friggin' ninety years old, okay?"

Yeah, touch the hair. Grab the hair.

" Okay?"

This is kinda counterintuitive, you know?

It always feels wrong to bring two guys...

when you know there's only one that's right for the part.

You have to bring in another guy, otherwise, they resent it.

Yeah, I know and I'm doing it...

But you know, maybe I should just that I prefer TJ beforehand.

- I wouldn't. - Why not?

Because I think they'd resent it.

They wanna feel like the decision is theirs...

and at the end of the day it is.

But they're not stupid. Richard, especially, has great taste.

That's why we brought the project here.

If TJ is the guy, they'll clearly see it.

What do you mean "if"? I thought you said you agreed with me.

I do. I think TJ's great.

I'm just worried he might be a little too hip for the room.

Too hip for the room? What does that mean? Where did you learn that?

- In Manager School. - What does that mean? Like too Jewish?

I think TJ's great. I think Zach is good, too.

Zach is not even in the same universe as TJ.

Zach would have to apply for a visa...

- Zach! My man! - What's up, man?

- How are you? - Hi. Alice. We met...

- Yes. - Oh, Alice, my manager.

- You met yesterday at the studio session? - Yes. Nice to see you again.

- You, too. Again. - Right, right.

- I'm nervous. - Just try to relax, man.

- You'll be great. - Thanks.

I don't know, any last thoughts for me before we go in there?

Just try to keep it simple. You know?

- Simple? - Yeah. That's the main thing.

You don't have to do a lot to get your thing across.

Totally.

- You understand what I'm saying? - Yeah. Totally. Simple?

Okay. Thanks, Mike.

- All right. - Thank you.

Yeah, it's such a great part...

I feel like I really get the guy, you know?

- We'll see you in there. - See you.

- Okay. - Bye, guys. See you soon.

- This is so fucked. - He's a sweet kid.

- Yes! That's why this is so fucked. - I know.

Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay.

Is your back acting up again?

- A little bit. - You should try yoga.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna bring TJ in first.

He sets the standard.

And then I bring Zach in.

Now they're comparing him to TJ. Clearly not as good.

- They go for TJ. - Totally.

- Could we get Lucy Lawless? - You mean...

Zena the Warrior Princess. I love her.

Thanks, Jen.

I'm not terribly familiar with her work.

But I think Michelle sees this character as herself...

and she imagines someone a little less conspicuously glamorous.

Who does she want?

She was thinking more of a Hope Davis.

Who?

Hope Davis. American Splendor. The Secret Lives of Dentists.

Wonderful actress.

- Has she done any TV? - Lenny.

You have your session in five minutes.

- Which show? - Wexler Chronicles.

Terrible title. Great script.

It's a terrible title.

I'll get you some tape on Hope Davis.

I think she's a very interesting choice for this.

Well, I take that seriously, Richard. That's why we brought you here.

We need some of your class thing.

But I also need a half-hour show...

to go up against the second half of CSl: New York...

and everyone always wonders, can Zena be funny?

And I'm the person who's saying: Fuck yes! Let's do it!

I've always believed that Lucy Lawless has a great half-hour comedy in her.

You okay?

Fucking acid reflux. Puts me in a terrible mood.

I'm just seriously questioning whether this beard was a good decision.

Oh, the beard? I like the beard.

I know. But I mean, do they ever give the lead to the guy with the beard?

Yeah! I mean, I think facial hair is really cutting edge. It's good.

You're gonna be great. Now, I just want you to relax. All right?

Yeah, you might be a little biased because you have a beard and so...

- I just think that, you know... - Look, just relax.

You're gonna be great.

You look like a lawyer. You look real.

I look like Serpico.

You do, a little bit. Break a leg.

All right, all right, all right.

It's great to be back in the fourth floor conference room.

Yeah well, it's been a busy week over at The Wexler Chronicles.

A whole lot of casting going on and...

So today I thought maybe we'd kick it off by looking at...

two lovely actress who represent...

two very different but equally exciting alternatives...

for the role of Amanda and...

then we're gonna look at a couple of potential Rob Wexlers.

- So it's all very exciting stuff. - Right.

Yeah, I can feel the electricity in the room.

Anyway, without any further ado, let's get this party started, okay?

Please, a warm fourth-floor conference-room welcome...

for the lovely Jessie Filmore.

Jessie.

- Thank you. - There she is.

- Whenever you're ready. - Okay. Thank you.

Is that you, Rob Wexler?

Amanda, hi.

Hi, neighbor. Wow!

God, it's be a really long time.

You look so... grown up.

You look terrific.

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the...

beautiful and talented Laurel Simon.

Stop. Stop. Thank you.

Well, what can we say, we're psyched to see you.

I'm psyched to see you. I'm psyched to see all of you.

How you doing?

I'm great, Mike. Oh, my God.

Is that Rob Wexler?

Amanda, hi.

Hey, neighbor.

Wow, it's been a really long time.

God, you look... so grown-up.

You look terrific.

Thanks.

So when did you get back into town?

Just this morning.

- Oh, oh, did you finish law school? - Yeah. Three years ago.

Three years? No way!

So, you're, like, a lawyer now?

I know. We're getting old.

Speak for yourself, mister. Okay? You're the one who's a lawyer.

And now please welcome the one, the only, TJ Goldman.

Whoa. There's a lot of you.

Don't even bother trying to escape. We have you outnumbered.

No, I won't put up a fight. Not going anywhere, unless you want me to.

Whenever you're ready, man, just...

- We had so many terrible teachers. - That's the truth.

Remember Mrs. Beetlemeyer? She was the worst.

Do you remember Coach Roberts?

How could I forget Coach Roberts? Talk about delusions of grandeur.

I have this recurring dream about that guy.

I'm like ninety years old and I have dentures...

got them in my high school gym class.

Everybody else is regular high school age. I'm the only one who's ninety.

And Coach is yelling at me, and I'm going...

"Give me a break. I'm ninety friggin' years old, okay?"

And now, last but not least Mr. Zach Harper.

Hi.

Zach Harper. Whenever you're ready.

I'm just gonna jump in if that's...

- We had so many terrible teachers. - That's the truth.

Remember Mrs. Beetlemeyer? She was the worst.

Do you remember Coach Roberts?

How could I forget Coach Roberts? Talk about delusions of grandeur.

I have this recurring dream about that guy.

I'm like ninety years old and I have dentures...

except I'm in my high school gym class.

And everybody's the regular high school age.

I'm the only one who's ninety.

And Coach is yelling at me I'm going...

"Give me a break! I'm ninety friggin' years old, homes!

Okay?"

- How'd it go, man? - I don't know. All right, I guess.

- All right. - Thanks.

Dude, whatever happens...

I just think it's rad we got to know each other these last two days.

Yeah. I guess.

Now I'm really screwed. 'Cause you were all awesome.

- Mike. Thank you. - You guys were great, Laurel.

I mean, four great auditions.

You guys can go to sleep tonight and know that...