Mom

Who knew a bar could fail?

A bar!

Yeah, it's too bad we're all sober.

This table alone could turn that place into a gold mine.

Adam's bar hasn't failed;

it's just a success waiting to happen.

Yeah, so's your hairstyle.

- Hey, go easy on my roommate. - Nah, it's okay.

She's mean to me when I'm right.

I don't think Christy would want you eating her fries.

She doesn't care.

Oh, take a peek outside.

I understand.

I'm eating them as fast as I can.

Anyway, Adam sits alone in the bar all day, losing money,

then he comes home like a big grump truck

and dumps it all on me.

Why don't you go over there and keep him company?

Oh, great idea, Marjorie.

You want me angry, frustrated, and sitting in a bar?

Beats angry, frustrated, and sitting next to me.

That's what being in a relationship is:

showing up for the hard parts.

Boo.

I know what you need. I know what we all need.

A hug from Dhara.

Is that your horse?

- No, that's Zahara. - Oh.

You got that from Angelina Jolie's daughter.

I had that name first.

Dhara's this incredible spiritual lady from India

who flies around the world hugging people.

And when she does, it takes all your problems away.

They call her the Hug Lady.

We had a hug lady in prison.

She did not take all your problems away.

Other than half my lunch, what'd I miss?

Nope, no recaps for smokers.

- Oh, come on. - Look, you keep doing this.

You go out to smoke, and then we got to repeat

everything we just talked about.

Some of the things people are saying in here

aren't worth hearing the first time.

Give me a hint. Please?

Moving on.

She's having an event in San Francisco tomorrow,

and I'm gonna go see her.

Who's she gonna see?

Figure it out from context, Smokey.

Well, Jill, how interesting that you're gonna go see

the Hug Lady from India who solves all your problems.

So weak.

Something that can solve all my problems without a meeting?

I'm in.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but you people a sheep.

- I'll go. - Me, too.

Baa...

If I commit to this trip to San Francisco,

can we ride a cable car?

Good Lord.

Come on, Mom, you need a spiritual reboot

more than anyone.

And not just at this table.

Anyone.

As much as I'd love to drive two hours

to get a hug from a con artist who's covered in germs, I'll pass.

Okay, everybody's in but Bonnie.

Uh, I'm still waiting for confirmation on that cable car.

We can ride the damn cable car.

See that? I hung in there and got my needs met.

I've really learned a lot from your cats.

Hurry up, Christy, I want to get my hug on.

Oh, God, she's gonna get in this car

smelling like a ashtray.

One of you come up front so I don't have to suffer.

So two of us should have to suffer instead of one of you?

Yeah.

I do not want to walk into a highly spiritual environment

wearing a stinky sari.

Why are you wearing a sari?

It's called cultural appropriation, Marjorie.

We're all supposed to do it.

I bet it buys me an extra ten seconds of hug time, too.

- Ugh. - What?

You reek.

Oh, come on. Is it really that bad?

Yes.

I kind of like it,

but I feel compelled to support the group.

Why are you wearing a sari?

- She was thinking... - No recaps for smokers.

Oy, someone needs an extra-long hug.

Well, that's why I wore a sar... Oh!

How about a karaoke night?

People love a karaoke night.

Can't think of anything worse.

- Disco night. - I was wrong.

- Trivia night. - What is a horrible idea?

None of your suggestions fit what I'm trying to do here.

I have a vision.

I have a vision, too.

It's of an empty bar.

Hey, I got Mike.

Hi, I'm Mike.

Hi, Mike.

Hey, let me ask you something.

Wouldn't your bar experience be brightened

with a little karaoke?

Come on, Adam,

be James Taylor to my Carly Simon.

No.

I will cut you off.

I don't want gimmicks, I just want a bar.

But we're in Napa,

land of a million wineries.

If you want people to come drink here instead,

you need to offer them something different.

I do. We don't serve wine.

Well, if it's a sports bar, you should at least...

Again, it's not a sports bar.

It's a bar for people who like sports.

Well, y-you're just saying the same thing with more words.

What does that even mean?

It means you can watch the game or not!

It's very relaxing.

Well, not right now, but usually.

I'm just trying to help you.

I don't want your help.

Fine, I'm out of here.

First good idea you've had.

I'm glad it's back to just us.

I haven't been this excited

since Neiman's opened an outlet in Petaluma.

You go to outlets?

No.

But it got a lot of riffraff out of my Neiman's.

Tammy, you've got the view.

How far away from the door are we?

I'm gonna say about 40 klicks.

I'm gonna also say I don't know what a "klick" is.

I read on Dhara's website

that we'll get more out of our hug

if we have a clear intention going in.

That's a good idea.

Why don't we all write them down?

What's an intention? Like a wish?

No. Dhara's not a birthday candle.

An intention is more like a focused desire

for a positive outcome.

Sounds like a wish.

- Are you trying to copy mine? - No, I'm just stretching.

That's a waste of an intention.

I mean, I can just buy another Audi.

Done.

Is yours to quit smoking?

No. It's for everyone I know to start smoking.

What's yours, Marjorie?

I want to release the pain of losing Victor

without letting go of my love for him.

Aw.

That's way more enlightened than better Wi-Fi.

- Skip me. - Tammy?

- Oh, it's dumb. - Oh, tell us.

Okay, I want to love myself

as much as I love you guys.

Aw.

God, why is everybody's better than mine?

Well, no one asked, but my intention is

to be seen and heard by...

Shh, shh! Here comes the guy with the tickets.

How many in your group?

Five.

So, it's official? We're all getting hugs?

You get a ticket, and if you stay in this line

you'll be number... 873.

How long is that gonna take?

Waiting time from this point is approximately four hours.

Four hours?

I'll handle this.

Excuse me... Mason.

Thank you for the free ticket.

Um, is there some sort of

spiritual fast-pass?

Didn't work for the women on The View,

it's not gonna work for you.

Bonnie, what's going on?

I just had a huge fight with Adam.

- What happened? - I went down to the bar and gave him

all these great ideas about how to make it a success,

I mean... "It's not my vision."

So, thanks for your brilliant advice.

Hey, I told you to go there and be with him.

I never said try to fix it.

Oh.

Let him figure it out for himself

and just support him.

I said, "Oh."