Busboys

Hey!

Hey, Markie, good to see you.

Oh, oh-ho, this is Pumpkin here.

Yeah, um, give him a good ride because

he only has two days left to live

and, uh, his best friend just died.

- Oh. - He's not well. Hey, but you guys

have so much fun.

- And don't let him drive. - Okay.

- No worry. - Bye, Pumpkin.

Come here. Hey.

Bye.

You know, Pumpkin, the good news is

at least you had a best friend.

I never had that kinda luck.

Folks don't really take to me.

I kinda drive 'em away.

You're kinda quiet, bud.

This is your last lap, so what do you want to do?

Okay.

Whatever you want.

Oh, you want to go faster?

All right.

Yeah!

Really?

Okay.

You're kind of a dick, dude.

Yeah, hit it.

Hurry up, twin!

Come on, we got a big day.

Hey, tag me in, boss!

Hippos are a bloat.

A group of bees is called a swarm.

"Dear Dad, not sure if you're getting my letters.

I really miss you. Mom isn't the same."

And a group of pigs is a police station.

Yeah.

Steef, pay attention.

-Eyes up front. -Uh...

Can you tell me what a group of crows is called?

It's called a murder.

And you know what, Steef?

A hint on how you can memorize murder?

Think of your dad.

Isn't your dad in prison for murder?

So crow

equals Steef's dad.

I heard his dad was a drug dealer.

I heard people are trying to kill him

because of his dad.

Guess I'm not that dumb.

Figured which letters to erase in my head.

You forgot the W.

I'm dropping out.

- Uh... - Who's that, your girlfriend?

Good one. What are you guys up to today?

Just did some looting this morning.

I think we found Jon Benet's wedding dress.

- Hey, are you okay back there? - What do you care?

Why don't you shove that dog up your ass?

Hey, be cool. He's got-- he's got cancer.

That truck's got cancer.

You should call it Not-enough-car, Not-enough-truck.

I got a Mercedes lined up.

This is kind of a rental right now, but...

It's a nice dream.

You know, you're going to wake up in the backseat

with your-- with your dick in your hand.

Oh, whoops, sorry.

You don't have a backseat or a dick.

Yeah, I'm-- I'm gonna cruise.

-Take care, dudes. -All right, stay black, bitch.

Have fun at Jiffy Lube.

Hey, you need a hall pass.

I'm dropping out.

Screw y'all.

I'm his mother. Made him with my own vagina,

if that's okay with you.

He's alive?

Someone said he was dead on text.

Did you save him?

Yeah. I think he got hit by a car.

What happened was, uh, I saw him on the side of the road,

and then I carried him and brought him here in my truck.

"He is not dead yet.

Y'all are so dumb, LOL, BRB."

You're a savior.

He probably won't make it, though.

"Doesn't look good, prob dead."

-Oh, God. -You're here.

Did you get the insurance deal?

I just printed it. It's the free one,

but it covers indoor lighting, and room-temp water deaths.

Did he drown?

Looks wet.

Oh, God, he drowned.

No, I'm-- I-- I think he's gonna be okay.

I don't know. Our family dies easily.

God, I loved him.

And you'll love that insurance money.

I know what you're gonna get.

-Hmm. -Something God didn't

give us 'cause he don't love us.

Are you going to take the insurance money

to buy yourself a wiener?

Why, are you selling?

No, I need mine.

What do you need it for?

Yeah, what do you need it for?

All right, got to run.

Ponderosa's having crab leg night,

and we get one free entrée if we're there by five.

Ah.

All right, I'll hang with him. I'll-- I'll

- keep an eye on him. - Let's go.

Can't believe he's dead.

Did my mom stop by?

Um...

No, I don't think so yet.

But, you know, I'm sure she will.

I'd be surprised if she does.

So what's your name?

Steef, with an F.

Steve? Where's the F at the end?

Steve. Stevef?

-Steef. -Stevef?

-Steef. -I'm saying it, Stevef.

Am I saying something different?

Steef.

Steef, do I have to spell it out?

-Yes. -S-T-E-E-F.

-Wrong. -It's Steef.

Well, that's good. Steef is... yeah-- I'm Markie.

So I don't know what to do. Do you want me to

...call your school, say you're not coming or?

I-- I just quit.

If you wanna come down to my job,

we're always looking for a new hand.

Do you like fancy restaurants?

No reverb.

Yeah, some pumps pumping.

Hey, Mr. Troy, I just wanna say thanks

for all the work, man. It's a blessing to be working here

near fine dining, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

I was kinda wondering if, um...

...maybe you could help me with, like, a raise

or some benefits or something, uh...

Inflation's been kicking my butt,

and my mom's on my case, about paying for her sex change.

Yeah, uh... In due time, pal, okay?

In due time.

I don't think you remember a couple of years ago,

I was giving you a college credit.

Yeah. It was awful nice of you.

I should have been in college.

Listen...

...the truth of the matter is, I can't put your legal name down

on payroll because somebody might know your daddy

and come snooping around.

And I don't need that kind of aggravation.

But I'll tell you what I will do...

Two fist pumps.

Here we go. There you go.

Boom, boom.

Feel better?

Ah, listen to that flow.

It's beautiful.

Whoa, spoke too soon.

That sounds like...

Bichon bones?

Nah, I know that rattle.

Jeez, I wish this was Jeopardy.

I'd win, right?

What are dentures, Alex?

It happens a lot.

Some dude squeezes out a big dump

and then, uh, he turns around to peep his bulwark and plop.

His teeth fall in.

Yeah. Alex is dead.

I think his wife killed him.

-No. -Speaking of death,

Markie's worrying himself into an early grave, sir.

He's got to take Pam on an anniversary date this week

and he doesn't know what to get her.

Oh, jeez.

Give it a kick, will you?

Yeah.

-Yeah. -Boom.

Good kick, but you're gonna need a hammer for that bulge.

-There you go. -Oh,

bet I can get it in six swings.

No way. There's too much BM in there.

But you know what?

You want a raise, so I will bet you $20

that it takes you ten swings.

You're on.

Hey, Markie.

Ooh, he says four swings.

Hammer time.