The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini

Cecily, my dear. Looking lovely, as usual.

Hey, wait a minute. You're dead.

You've been dead for 30 years.

32, Hiram, baby.

Hiram, baby?

Well, you look lovely, just the same.

Hiram, let me clue you in.

You have a terrible problem.

Good heavens, my dear girl, what problem could I possibly have?

I'm very wealthy, I'm very healthy....

And very dead!

I beg your pardon?

No need to. You're dead, just like me.

You know...

I don't like this one tiny little bit.

No one does, Hiram, baby.

That's why I'm here, to help you get up there.

Is there a chance for me?

What do I have to do?

Why don't you just get out of your nice little coffin...

and I'll give you the scam?

You have 24 hours in which to mastermind one good deed...

if you want to spend eternity with me.

A good deed? Good heavens!

I'm a little out of practice. I wouldn't know where to begin.

I can't coach you.

It has to be your idea, pussycat.

And another thing: You can't leave the crypt.

I can't.... Then how can I do a good deed?

Anything you want done, I'll do.

And if you're successful, there's a bonus in it for you.

A bonus? Tell me, what is it?

You'll notice there is a discrepancy in our ages.

Since you've mentioned it, if you look closely...

yes.

That's because I stopped aging when I was in the accident.

And you, my poor friend, kept getting older and older--

Never mind that, tell me about the bonus.

The bonus is, if you succeed in doing one good deed...

they promised you'd be young again.

Young again? Oh, Cecily, my dear.

Then once more, you and I could trip together hand in hand...

through the sweet smelling fields of new-mown clover...

to enjoy the moonlight of a warm summer's night....

Let's not get sickening, chickie-baby. Time's a-wasting.

You've got to pull off a good deed, remember?

Yes, I know, I'm thinking.

Wait a minute.

How long have I been dead?

You're hardly cold. One week.

One week!

Then tomorrow, the reading of my will takes place.

And if I know Reggie Ripper, my attorney, he'll try to keep all the money for himself.

What you have to do is to see that my rightful heirs get the money.

That will be my good deed.

Are you sure they'll make me young again...

up there?

- They never go back on their promise. - Good

The first thing for you to do is to try to get into my house.

But how will we keep in touch with each other?

We should have a walkie-talkie.

I have something better. Remember the old crystal ball shtick?

It never worked.

Try it again.

Not bad.

First of my heirs...

Chuck Phillips, not very bright, but a nice boy.

Heir number two, Lili Morton.

Not very bright, either, but a beautiful figure...

so I've been told.

And heir number three, Myrtle Forbush.

What can I say about her in front of you?

Reggie Ripper, my wicked attorney...

and his vile sidekick, J. Sinister Hulk.

Really, my dear chap, when you threw in with me...

I told you there might be risks involved.

I know, I know, and I'm game, but listen.

- Is this joint really haunted, like they say? - Certainly not! Don't be ridiculous!

Hulk, there's a million dollars involved in this estate, plus the house...

and your job is to take care of the other heirs. Follow me?

I'm way ahead of you.

The job will be done very neat and tidy, or my name ain't J. Sinister Hulk.

My associates are on their way now.

I hope they get here soon. My guests are due any minute.

They will.

This is the greatest bunch of cutthroats I ever had the pleasure of working with.

Once they eliminate the other heirs, the fortune will be all mine.

Ours!

Mine.

Ours.

Mine, old bean.

- What? - Yours, old bean.

That, my dear Cecily, is the enemy.

For my good deed, you're to harass them and protect the young people.

Gotcha, Hiram.

You'd better be leaving, my dear.

My heirs are arriving for the reading of my will.

As you say, Hiram.

Wait a minute. The door's that way!

Who needs it?

Well, well, well, here we are.

All four heirs to this house and fortune neatly assembled.

What goes on?

A séance.

I think it's only fitting to thank to Mr. Hiram Stokely.

- Am I right, buster? - If you insist.

I don't insist, but I get very mean when I'm crossed...

so sit down and be sociable.

- All right. - I hope this works.

I normally don't communicate with ghosts until midnight.

Night rates cheaper?

This is so silly. Why do we have to sit--

I'm surprised at you, Cookie.

After all, Hiram invited us to come. We are his heirs!

No one is officially an heir unless present at the reading of the will...

and that won't take place until midnight. So get on with it.

All right.

Let's start holding hands.

- I think I'm going to be sick. - Quiet! Please!

Ghosts do not like noises.

Now, if you'll close your eyes and concentrate.

Oh, Hiram Stokely...

we are all sitting around waiting for you.

Dear, sweet Lili Morton, Chuck Phillips...

your respected attorney, Reginald Ripper...

and me, Myrtle Forbush.

Please, won't you visit us, Hiram?

We are so anxious to talk to you.

If you hear my voice, give us a sign.

What the....

- It's a knife. - It's a note.

What a ridiculous way to send messages.

- What's it say? - Is it from Hiram?

"Those who remain here tonight...

"will not be around tomorrow."

Wait a minute.

- Somebody's trying to scare us out of here. - They've succeeded. I'm leaving.

But if you leave before they read the will, you'll forfeit your share.

- It seems I've reconsidered. - Delighted.

Perhaps you'd better go along without me, Miss Forbush.

Maybe I'm interfering with you communication.

All right.

Here, hold hands.

Have we displeased you, Hiram.

What can we do to make you forgive us?

Please, speak to us, Hiram.

Send us a friendly message.

Friendly message?

Good heavens. Everybody all right?

Yeah, we're all right.

And whoever did that, we're not scared.

Speak for yourself, John.

Let's not go blaming people for these strange happenings around here.

This is a very old house, and chandeliers do fall.

Sure, all the time.

And the mail arrives on knives that stick themselves in chairs and people!

Goo-Goo.

Come here.

Hi, Aunt Myrtle. Well, we finally made the scene.

It's about time.

This is my dear little nephew, Bobby.

Nephew?

Bobby, this is Mr. Ripper, our host.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Hey, come on, gang. Geronimo!

Cecily, my dear...

that sinister face, pay no attention to it.

It's just Malcolm, my butler.

Terribly inefficient, I might add.

Geronimo

When you find

- When you find - You're in trouble, you need help

- You need help - On the double

One thing

- One thing - Just remember to do

Let yourself go

Yell Geronimo

That's when I'll

Come a-runnin' to you

Geronimo

When you need me

When you want me

Hey, baby, let's go

G-E-R-O-N-I-M-O

Baby, let's go

G-E-

R-O-

N-I-M-O

I'll be there

- I'll be there - Right beside you, to help

- You to help - And to guide you until

- Until - Baby, we see it through

- Don't you know - Don't you know

Hey, Geronimo

That's when I'll

- Come runnin' to you - I'll come runnin' to you

- Geronimo - When you need me

- Geronimo - When you want me

- Geronimo - Hey, baby, let's go

G-E-R-O-N-I-M-O