Away from Her

She said,

"Do you think it'd be fun if we got married?"

And what did you say?

I took her up on it.

I never wanted to be away from her.

She had the spark of life.

Careful.

When did we last wash that sweater?

Right after the war.

Christmas.

In the '50s sometime or the '60s.

Shut up.

I'll go make the fire.

"You climbed the bank and said,

"'This is how you touch other women,

"the grass cutter's wife, the lime burner's daughter.

"And you searched your arms

for the missing perfume and knew--"

Don't worry, darling.

I expect I'm just losing my mind.

Shh-shh.

"What good is it to be the lime burner's daughter,

"left with no trace

"as if not spoken to in the act of love,

"as if wounded without the pleasure of a scar.

"You touched your belly to my hands in the dry air

"and said, 'I am the cinnamon peeler's wife.

Smell me.'"

When I look away, I forget what yellow means.

But I can look again.

Sometimes there's something delicious in oblivion.

I think you're supposed to be able

to put your fingers inside the curled petal

and feel the heat.

Well?

I can't be sure.

I can't be sure if what I can feel

is the heat or my imagination.

The heat attracts the bugs.

Nature never fools around just being decorative.

Yes?

I don't quite know how to introduce myself.

I used to see your husband at Meadowlake.

I'm a regular visitor there myself.

Those are lovely flowers.

I've never seen those purple ones before.

Hmm.

The earth there must really appeal to them.

What?

You could just open the drawers.

Remind yourself.

What?

Maybe all the labels and lists

are defeating the purpose.

If you stopped thinking about things

the moment you write them down,

maybe that's the end of your need to recall.

I heard a story at a dinner party

about the German soldiers on border patrol

in Czechoslovakia during the war.

I heard it from that Czech student of yours.

Veronica.

We spoke once at a dinner party.

Don't be nervous.

It's a good story.

She told me that each of the German patrol dogs

wore a sign saying "hund."

"Why?" said the Czechs.

And the Germans replied, "Because that is a hund."

It was one of those craft shows

where you look around and wonder that the laws of supply and demand

can allow for the production of so many macramé ducks.

Oh, God, those things are everywhere.

What do you do with them? Oh, come on, Phoebe, you've got one of those.

You use it as a-- what do you call it--

a light fixture holder or som--

I do not. Phoebe, in the...

Oh, yes. Wait a second, I do.

Fiona gave it to me.

Yes, I did.

Would anybody like some more?

Mm.

Ween...

Wai-- Wain--

No, but I'll have a touch of wine.

Yeah, Fiona, that would be lovely.

Some more wain.

The thing is...

half the time I wander around

looking for something which I know

is very pertinent.

I can't remember what it is.

Once the idea is gone, everything is gone.

I just wander around

trying to figure out what it was

that was so important earlier.

I think I may be beginning to disappear.

And what year is it?

2003.

Fiona, if you found a letter on the street,

addressed, with a stamp on it,

what would you do with it?

I'd mail it.

And where would you put it to mail it?

And if there was a fire in a movie theater,

and you were the first person to spot that fire,

what would you do?

Well, we don't go to the movies much anymore,

do we, Grant?

All those multiplexes showing the same American garbage.

Have you seen my coat?

There it is, dear.

It's on your chair.

Oh, yes.

Fiona, would you mind

if I asked you a few more questions?

Would you mind taking a seat?

I was just feeling a little cold, that's all.

What an ugly baby.

When did we move into this cottage?

Was it last year or the year before?

No. It was longer than that.

It was when I left the university,

20 years ago.

Hmm.

Well, that's shocking.

Let's just see how it goes, shall we, hmm?

Hmm?

How is your husband doing?

Okay.

He and my wife struck up quite a close friendship.

I heard about that.

So, uh,

I'd like to speak to you about something.

If you have a minute.

My husband did not try to start anything with your wife,

if that's what you're getting at.

He did not try to molest her.

He's incapable of it.

And anyway, he wouldn't.

From what I hear, it was the other way around.

No, uh, that isn't it at all.

I didn't come here with any complaints.

Oh.

Oh, well, I'm sorry. I thought you did.

Maybe you should come in.

It's not as warm a day as it looks.

"Never let a person make you feel guilty

for your anger with God."

Hmm. Random.

I can't even see what the point is.

We can't be certain this is what--

You're far too young.

"Should the patient afflicted with the disease

"remain at home...

the caregiver will very often be the spouse."

"The caregiver must preside over the degeneration

"of someone he or she loves very much,

"must do this for years and years

"with the news always getting worse, not better,

"must put up sometimes with deranged

"but at the same time very personal insults,

"and must somehow learn to smile through it all.

"Caregivers must be able to diagnose

"a wide variety of ordinary ailments

"under extraordinary circumstances.

"Imagine the person you love the most

"suddenly upset about something,

"but completely unable to communicate the problem

or even to understand it himself."

Sounds like a regular marriage.

Hello, there!

Oh!

Hello, there.

We are at that stage, Grant.

We are at that stage.

Well...

if we do think of it...

if we do...

then it must be as something that isn't permanent.

A kind of experimental treatment or...

a rest cure of sorts.

All right.

All right.

We can think of it that way.

We have to sit in the kitchen, where I can hear Aubrey.

Well, you might as well have a cup of coffee.

Thank you.

My son put him on the Sports Channel a year ago Christmas.

I don't know what we'd do without it.

Must be a struggle.

Well, you know.

You know what struggle is by now.

You're sure? I'm sure.

You don't want to just get a sense of the place?

I don't want to make this decision alone.

What place?

Just kidding!

Fuck off.

You're not making this decision alone, Grant.