Better Call Saul

- Name? -Charles McGill.

Client visit.

Here's Johnny.

Heh, heh. Hey, I knew you'd come.

All right. You're a sight for sore eyes. You're looking good.

- Jimmy. -Sorry you had to come all this way.

- It's a long way, right? -it's a long way.

Yeah. Sorry.

Only two things I know about Albuquerque:

Bugs Bunny should've taken a left turn there...

...and give me a hundred tries, I'll never be able to spell it.

Anyway...

Uh, as you can see, I'm in a-- A bit of a pickle.

You certainly are.

Forget the property damage and assault charges.

You face being labelled a sex offender, Jimmy.

- It will follow you for the rest of your life. -That is insane.

Okay?

That is a trumped-upload of horse crap, Chuck. Come on.

Is that what I tell the judge? "Load of horse crap"?

I'm not the lawyer here.

It was a Chicago sunroof. Sex offender? That's not even remotely a...

Let's talk strategy, okay?

Because I need you to work your magic and make this whole situation go "poof."

You got a plan of attack? Huh?

Come on, I know I haven't made it easy for you...

...but you are-- You are the man.

Right? I know you've got a million legal loopholes...

...that we can dance through, big bag of tricks.

You know, any clever technicalities, huh?

Reasonable-doubt-type stuff? Come on, Chuck.

I haven't seen you in, what, five years?

We barely hear from you. Now that you're in it up to your neck...

...you can't even call me yourself. You have Mom call me?

Mom took it upon herself to call. I was letting her know where I was.

- You didn't cry to her on the phone? -What? No.

You didn't cry and beg Mom for help?

Wha--? Jesus. She hears what she wants to hear, okay?

I'm gonna cry on a payphone in the middle of Cook County Jail. Jesus.

Can we--? Can we talk strategy here, huh?

Look--

I know I'm a lousy brother.

I'm a lousy brother, I'm a big screw-up.

And if I was just a better person...

...I would not only stop letting you down-- You know what?

I'd stop letting me down.

And it's about time that I started to make both of us proud.

- Am I right? -Guard.

Wait. Chuck, wait, wait, wait. No, no, you can't leave me, no.

If I don't get out of this, my life is over.

So long as you understand that.

Yeah.

Jimmy, if I do this-- If.

-Do not make a fool out of me.

I promise I won't.

Everything you're doing...

...everything you're involved with, that's over.

Just tell me what to do.

Whatever it is, I'll do it.

Just say it.

Please, Chuck?

Help me.

- Hello? Hey, it's me.

Unh. Jimmy? What's, uh...?

Jesus, what time is it?

Clock says 2, but I think that might be Ho Chi Minh's time zone.

What? What's happening? ls Chuck all right?

Yeah, Chuck... Chuck is Chuck. All right?

Everything's all right. Ahem. I just wanted to call you.

So, uh...

Hey. What you doing?

Jimmy...

No. I'm not talking dirty to you.

What? You think that's the only reason I would call you at this time of night?

I mean, can we just--?

Give me a little bit of credit, okay?

- And you're not talking dirty to me either. -Okay, bye.

- I knew it. - I'm joking.

Just joking, having fun with you.

I am calling you tonight with quality, PG phone conversation.

- PG-13 at worst. -Uh-huh.

Hand to God. You know?

But, uh, if you hang up now and drive straight over...

...limited time only, I'm offering a free pedicure and foot bath.

Is that right? Wow.

- Maybe next time. -Hey. More for me. Ahem.

Uh, you're, uh, probably swamped with work anyways...

...what with that big, fat giant case falling right into your lap.

Which case is that?

I don't know. Some, uh... Some county official or something?

It was in all the papers.

- Craig Kettleman. -Craig Kettleman.

Yeah. The primo client...

...your dipwad boss stole right out from under me.

Nobody stole anybody.

- The Kettlemans made a choice. -So did the Donner party...

-...when they took that shortcut. - Come on. Hamlin is not that bad.

And I'm gonna be second chair if it ever goes to trial...

...so be happy for me.

Hey, uh, how much exactly did Kettleman get away with?

Mm, excuse me. Innocent until proven guilty.

Uh, excuse me, but I'm a taxpayer in this county.

I think I have a right to know.

And besides, it's not like I'm his lawyer or anything.

I have to go to sleep. So do you. I know you have court in the morning.

He got away with a million, million six, at least?

I'm not talking details of a case with you. Good night.

Where did he stash all that dough? Besides for buying that idiotic boat.

Hello? Guilty.

- Hanging up now. - This guy is...

You know, he's probably a target.

Somebody might get some bad, bad ideas.

You know, if Ketfleman isn't careful with that money, I mean...

...his whole family could be in danger.

What do you mean, danger?

- Jimmy, why would you say that? - What?

You said the family might be in danger.

I did? l...

I... Ahem. I'm-- I'm drunk. Heh.

So I'm just, uh...

I'm thinking out loud. I'm not spinning, uh...

I'm spinning thoughts.

- You sure? -Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh...

So I will see you down in the court bowels mafiana.

Good night, Kim.

Good night, Jimmy.

I'm no hero.

Hello! You've reached Team Kettleman!

Leave a message for Craig-- Betsy--

Warren-- And Jo Jo--

-after the beep!

Hello! You've reached Team Kettleman!

Please leave a mess--

Hello?

Kettlemans, you're in danger. You're in danger.

I'm sorry, what?

- Craig, who is it? -I'm not sure.

Wait, say--? Say that again, please?

They know about your money.

- Watch out. -Yeah, what are you trying to say?

This is a warning. You're in danger. They're coming for your money.

This is a friendly stranger. Your whole family is in danger.

The money. They know about the money.

You have a terrible connection.

I'm warning you. They know about your money.

- Be careful. -Can you call back on a better line?

Kettlemans, you're in danger.

They're coming for your money. Bye.

What did he say?

- We're-- -In danger.

“They're coming."

Who--?

Who's coming?

Okay, how about this? Time served plus counselling.

Can't do it. -it's his first offence.

Can't do it. -"Can't do it, can't do it."

- Would you work with me here? -I'm listening, aren't I?

Well, you're kind of a captive audience.

What'd you eat for lunch, the whole roast beast?

- Funny. -Okay. Okay. Hear me out.

Wow.

The 3O he's done, which is a 60 credit, plus 60 additional days.

- Can't do it. -Best offer.

Six months plus the time he's done, halftime for good behaviour...

...out in 90, that's my final.

- That's never gonna happen. -Oh!

Come on. Now, are you joking?

Now, that is the best deal you're gonna get.

I can't do it.

The guy drove drunk into a shopping centre...

...and killed three people.

Shopping centre? Desmond Rojas.

Armed robbery, liquor store.

He assaulted a cashier with a bottle of Kahlua.

Oh, I was thinking Darryl Redwood.

Yeah, okay, my bad. Desmond Rojas.

Okay, go. Start over.

I am not starting over. I'm busting my nut here for 700 a throw...

...inhaling your B.M. straight from Satan's bunghole...

...and you can't tell one defendant from another?

Ninety days with good behaviour. We're doing this.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Say it. Say the words "I accept the deal."

Yeah, I accept-- I accept the deal.

Good morning.

What do you mean, what did I mean?

No, I told you, I was drunk. I just--

Kim, why are you asking me this?

Oh, damn it. Here. I'm in a real rush. I didn't have time to get the validation.