The Kid Detective

Subtitles by explosiveskull M_I_SForEver

Hello?

Are you still in bed?

No. I've been up for awhile.

Hey, man.

Hey. We brought you some groceries.

Thanks.

Jesus.

I know, it's not me.

So, what's new?

Your moms biopsy came back benign.

Really? Cool.

You should go get your moles checked out too.

Yeah, definitely.

How are your finances?

They're okay.

Credit card?

Could be worse.

You know we're not bailing you out again?

I had a big case last week.

Really, what was it?

You know I'm not supposed to talk about that stuff.

This gay guy wanted to me to find out

whether another guy was gay.

Was he?

Yeah. A little bit.

Oh, that's nice.

What's on your mind, Abe?

Should I be worried if my pee smells like fish?

Yeah, maybe.

You know Rory Beans is in the back, right?

So what?

Just leave, man.

We're not gonna judge you.

I used to be loved.

I used to be a kid detective.

When I was 13,

I solved the case of the missing fundraiser money.

It was Rory Beans, the neighborhood knucklehead.

Get him, Rory.

In the beginning

I ran my trade out of a tree house.

Somebody stole the basketball magazines

from my desk.

Can you remember what else was in the cubby?

My pencils, erasers, some peanut butter cups,

a photo of my bird...

But, nothing else was taken?

It was Clive Cunningham.

How do you know?

He's the only one allergic to peanuts.

Wow, thanks Abe.

Whenever we watched movies as a family

I would always spot the bad guy.

It was the bald man.

And guess the ending in the second act.

She poisoned his drink.

Seth Barret used to be nice, but now he's mean.

I need you to find out what happened.

Somebody keeps borrowing my bicycle

without asking permission.

I found this in the park.

I need to know what it is.

I noticed some blood on my dad's car.

I want you to find out what happened.

Are you sure?

I saw that Constable Cleary was in the yard again.

He wanted to catch me up on the latest cases.

Oh, that's so cute.

Son, we want you to know how impressed we are.

I've never seen a young person take such initiative

for the sake of their community.

I was 12 when

someone finally chopped down my tree house.

The town raised enough money

to set me up with a real office,

in the middle of main street.

The mayor's daughter, Gracie, was my secretary.

I used to pay her in soda pop.

Abe Applebaum's office.

Oh, hi Daddy!

He's in with Principal Erwin.

Want me to take a message?

Someone stole the cashbox from the school fundraiser.

What was it for?

Animal rescue.

Rory Beans was bit by a dog last summer.

Someone's been sneaking up the clock tower,

changing the time.

Sounds like the Red Shoe Gang.

Don't you have a boy on the inside?

Not anymore. He kept getting grounded.

I was often in one of those situations

where you're looking for evidence in a house,

and then you hear

the owner come home, so you have to hide.

And it keeps seeming like they're going to open the closet,

but they don't.

And then you sneeze

and give yourself away.

Oh my God, that's adorable.

Bill, come and look at this!

One day, while taking a stroll,

it suddenly occurred to me

who had robbed Mr. Hepburn's candy store.

I was awarded free ice cream for life.

Here ya go, Abe.

Thanks, Mr. H..

Good morning, Abe.

Hi, Abe.

As a reward for all my hard work,

I was invited to play drums for Sharkwater

at the annual Fall Barbecue.

Sometimes I would lie awake all night

and wonder if I was the smartest person in the world.

Oh my god, I met this super cute boy

at the record store last weekend.

You're always meeting cute boys.

It's driving me up the wall.

- See you later. - See you later.

It's been nearly two weeks since the abduction

of 14-year-old Gracie Gulliver,

and the local anxiety continues to mount.

I can't believe it.

She comes in my store all the time.

Things like this aren't supposed to happen here.

The mayor and his wife released

this emotional statement on Tuesday.

Hello?

Hey Abe, it's Mindy Martingrove.

Oh, hi.

I was just wondering how much longer

do you think it'll take you to find Gracie?

Um...

I'm not sure.

My mom told me not to tell you this,

but we're all really counting on you.

I know you can do it.

Constable Cleary still hasn't called me back.

Try and get some sleep sweetheart.

You have to stop torturing yourself.

She knows you're thinking about her.

Hello?

Where the hell are you?

It's Sunday.

No. It's not.

Fuck!

Morning, Mr. Ackerman.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Who did that?

Some idiot I got suspended, 20 years ago.

He stole the fundraiser money from the principal's office.

And he's still pissed?

His parents were about to buy him a hunting kit.

The widow Gulliver was here, but she got tired of waiting.

Is she coming back?

Didn't I just find him?

That was a year ago.

So you're worried he's been hit by a car or something?

If it was a simple accident,

somebody would have called, wouldn't they?

He's wearing his tags.

Well, we're coming up on Halloween.

It's possible he was used in some kind of satanic ritual.

What?

This is Willow Brook,

and you know what kids are like these days.

This guy in my homeroom,

Henry Hooper, claims he was in New York over the summer

and practiced with the Mets.

I need to find out if he's lying.

He's lying.

I have a $50 bill...

Let me see it.