Murder Mindfully (Achtsam morden)

I chopped up my… …free.

I chopped up my… …felt more free.

I chopped up my… …felt more free.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I chopped up my client and I never felt more free.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I chopped up my client and I never felt more free.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I knew it. I knew it.

I knew it was you all along!

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it was you all along!

- - Huh?

- - I knew it.

- - I knew it.

I knew it. I knew it was you all along!

- -

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it was you all along!

MURDER MINDFULLY

A FEW MONTHS LATER

Family vacations are wonderful.

They're an opportunity to argue about the same things you argue about at home,

but in a different place

that's more expensive and has worse Wi-Fi.

Even so, the three of us had decided

to embark on this social experiment.

We all wanted to get along, and we were trying our best.

Our efforts thus far has resulted in a lovely holiday.

Even I, as a criminal defense attorney, daycare operator,

and the newly minted boss of two crime syndicates,

was getting the long-awaited break I needed.

Come on! Hurry, you guys! Hurry!

I was quite satisfied with the Austrian Alps.

Sure, for a month's salary, all you got

was a tiny room in a drafty hovel with a communal shower

and a bed that had survived two world wars,

but the scenery was delightful.

Papa, are we there yet?

Soon.

Look, Em.

That mountain hut on the ridge, do you see it?

Yeah.

When we get there, we're going to have some yummy Kaiserschmarrn,

an Almdudler,

and a Landjäger.

Wait, who's a land jäger?

- Hm? - Who's a land jäger?

Landjäger's not a person. It's just a tasty sausage, sweetheart.

- Can you carry me again? - On my shoulders?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Hold my hat, please.

- Yeah. - One, two, three and up!

All right.

Last stretch.

- Let's go. - I am a giant!

Uh, coming down!

- Weee! -

Wow.

Mm.

This is great.

Mm.

I'm glad we decided not to go to Mallorca, aren't you?

Yeah, definitely.

Whoa.

- Hungry? - Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'll put your bag over here.

- What was that? - Kaiserschmarrn.

I'll run to the restroom.

Mm-hm.

That's crazy.

How's it going?

Yeah?

Should we, uh, come inside to order food, or will you come out to serve us?

Yeah, in a sec.

- So you'll come out? - Yeah, yeah, in a minute.

Sorry, I just wanted to know if you were going to--

Yes, man, and I just want you to know I said I'd come.

Okay.

My family and I are sitting out on the terrace, but you'll see us.

- No one else is out there right now. - Yeah, yeah.

Sure.

I'm on vacation, dammit.

So the guy was here?

Hm?

Did the guy take your order?

No.

Hm.

Papa, can we play another round of "I Spy"?

Hmm. I certainly don't spy with my little eye any waiters.

You're funny.

I don't spy with my little eye anything that looks like a unicorn.

Mm.

- Björn? - Yeah.

Get two orders of Kaiserschmarrn.

- For Emmi and me? - Mm-hm.

- With applesauce and no raisins. - Yeah.

- I'm going to wash my hands, okay? - Okay.

I don't spy with my little eye anything that is my mom.

Hi, guys, how are you?

Hello, ladies.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

- And there you are. - Thanks.

Everything okay here?

Menus. Let me know when you're ready to order.

Uh, we… we don't need one. We want to order.

- What? - We can order now. We know what we want.

Gotcha. But first, I need my tablet from inside.

Ah, it's not much.

You can remember it, I'm sure.

No, no, no, no. You can calm down for a minute.

Okay?

I'll be with you very soon.

What an asshole.

No, you calm down.

Well?

- Did you order? - Sadly, no.

Papa said the waiter is an asshole.

- -

I mean, he needs a tablet to remember three things. I'm sorry, no.

Björn, don't get mad. We're on vacation.

Exactly. We're on vacation, and he isn't.

Oh, yes.

So…

Fellas, you must be thirsty. What can I get you?

- A beer, please. - Four beers? My pleasure.

- Ah. - You heartbreakers, what would you like?

Thank you.

Uh, hey!

Ex… Ex… Excuse me?

- I'm hungry. - Yeah.

I know.

- All right. - Here we go.

Four beers. Here we go.

- You're welcome. -

- What have you decided? - Two beers.

Two beers? I'll be right back.

- I'll be with you in a moment. - Stop! It's our turn now.

- Don't touch me! - Björn!

I'm sorry. My husband, he gets irritable when his blood sugar is low. I'm sorry.

Your husband isn't the only guy in the world.

Yeah, I know. Sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm ready now, sir.

And what would you like to have today?

- We'd like three Kaiserschmarrn. - Want or stewed plums or applesauce?

I'm sorry?

Stewed plums or applesauce with your order today?

With applesauce.

No raisins.

- No raisins. - No raisins.

- No raisins. - No raisins, sure, yeah.

Uh, three Almdudler, cold ones.

We'll see about that.

And one Landjäger.

- Gladly. Thank you. - Thank you.

You're welcome. Be out in a second.

Thanks.

Dumb Germans.

- What? - That was unacceptably rude, Björn.

- Could you have handled it differently? - Yeah.

Of course.

Don't want anyone dying of thirst, do we?

Prost.

Wonderful. Thank you.

- - Yeah.

- Here you go. You're so welcome. - Thanks.

I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I'm hungry!

- Yeah. - He's coming.

- Thank you. - Of course.

- Here's one Almdudler. Another Almdudler. - Thank you.

- And for our good sir. - Yay!

- Here's your Kaiserschmarrn. - That looks good, huh?

- Let me grab silverware. - And here's yours.

And yours.