Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

I'll get it

In the name of the elders of Vandor,

- prepare to die! - What?

Take this Gorgo,

and this!

Wait! No! I'm not Gorgo!

- You're not? - No!

So this isn't the fortress of Wolfrik.

No, this is one thirty-three Collins road.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Am I embarressed.

So you're not going to kill me?

No, no, no,

there's been a terrible mistake.

We recently merged with another hoard

and interdepartmental communications has been horrible.

I'm sorry to have troubled you.

Oh, that's okay. It was no trouble.

Believe me, I'm going to ream those guys in despatch.

Hey, you forgot your thingy.

Sorry.

S01 E23 The Crucible

Fuelled by the flames of vengeance and persecution,

the Salem witch trials lasted a year.

By the end of sixteen ninety-three, twenty were hanged

and the town had seen it's darkest days.

Okay, two notes on tomorrows field trip to historic Salem.

The bus will leave Saturday morning at eight a.m.

Eight a.m. on a Saturday!

That's just wrong.

And pack lightly,

you'll be provided with period clothing when you arrive.

The idea is for us to fully immerse ourselves in the repressive culture of the time.

Do you wanna sit next to me on the trip tomorrow?

I know all the good bus songs.

- I'm not even sure I'm going. - You're kidding,

don't you wanna see where the witches lived?

Big deal!

Touchy.

- Hey Adam. - Hey.

He is so into you.

- I know. - Has he asked you out yet?

Not yet but it's only because he's shy.

Adam's not the kind of guy who would ask

a girl to do something.

She has to make the first move.

So when are you gonna do it?

In Salem.

It's the perfect exotic setting to let Adam know I like him.

Have you ever dated a baseball player before?

Oh let's see, football, hockey, soccer, lacrosse,

badminton... No!

What about Carl,

we could invite him?

Erck! He always wants to bring his skunk familiar

Hey, what's going on?

We're thinking of having a little Texas

I had a hankerin' fer a seven witch chilli.

It's good eatin'

We'll save you some for when you get back from your trip.

Oh, I don't think I can go.

- Why not? - I'm sick

See?

A bed of nails,

why am I like this?

- Because you're a faker. - Huh?

You know, an Indian mystic,

a Fakir.

This is a very painful pun aunt Hilda.

The point is, you're not sick.

Aw! Oh! Okay, I'm not but I've been thinking about it

and Salem sounds like a dangerous place for a witch.

The Salem witch trials had nothing to do with real witches

Besides, that was three hundred years ago.

There's nothing to worry about now

except for over priced souvenirs.

- Really? - Go and have a good time on your field trip.

Eight bottles of beer on the wall,

eight bottles of beer.

You take one down and pass it around,

seven bottles of beer on the wall.

Okay that's enough, we're here.

Can't we finish the song?

We were so close

Sorry Harvey, no more singing,

ye be puritans now.

Okay, I'm going to hand out these envelopes.

Which each contain a card.

Don't open them yet.

On each card is a role for you to play

while at Salem village.

Most of the cards say 'townsperson'

but one or more may say 'witch

Witch!

If you really play your roles

we can make history come alive

Open your envelopes

but don't reveal your card to anyone.

I'm a townsperson, what are you?

Who cares?

I'm not even looking.

Hi everybody.

What's Mr. Pool doing here?

He must be one of our chaperones.

What wont he do for money?

Jenny, art thou chewing gum?

I... art.

Well, out with it.

Had the puritans known chewing gum

you can bet they would have been against it.

Good morrow townspersons and welcome to Salem.

Over there is ye olde inn where ye will eat and sleep

and yonder is the meeting hall,

where we'll discuss the towns issues.

Now before we spread out I want everyone to pick a buddy.

- Buddy? - Better be.

Libby, I'll be your buddy.

No, I wanna be your buddy.

Be each others buddies.

I have someone else in mind.

You were my next choice.

- Hey slugger. - Hey.

Listen Adam, I know you're shy

so I'll make it easy for you.

Will you be my buddy?

Thanks Libby

but I already asked Jenny.

- What, like as a joke? - No

- Hey buddy. - Hey.

Hey Libby.

Hey yourself.

So does everyone have a buddy?

Not me.

We can take care of that,

I'll be your buddy Goody Chessler.

I feel like I'm falling down a well.

All right, let's change our clothes and begin our morning chores.

I'm starving,

I'm glad the puritans had chips.

Me too.

Man those chores were tougher than baseball practice.

Yeah, I'm really going to feel that churning tomorrow.

So has anyone been accused of having a witch card?

No, and I hope no one is.

- Why not? - Because..

first you start looking for witches,

the next thing you know it turns into a witch hunt.

Do you mind if I sit with you buddy?

So, are ye all enjoying puritan life?

If I'd wanted to do chores

I would have stayed home this weekend.

Well, life was hard then.

You know it wasn't unusual for a woman your age to be married

and have a kid.

Hey Jenny, can I talk to you outside? It's important.

Alone? that's forbidden.

Don't worry, no harm will come of it.

Do you see that!

It's disgusting

I can't stand this,

Jenny is going to be so sorry.

where are you going?

To channel my anger into something productive.

But before I tell you this

you have to promise not to repeat it.

Upon my soul.

I could get put in the stocks for this but

you look really cute in that outfit.

Thanks, so do you.

Ah-a-a-a! unless ye be married there will be no holding of hands.

eez, ye be really into this.

- What was that? - It came from the attic.

Libby, what's wrong?

She did this to me!

Jenny's specter flew in through the window

and braided my hair.

- Why? - To make me look dorky.

Her spirit also threw my shoes out the window

and I'll prove it.

There! See what Jenny's stupid specter did to my shoes.

I wasn't lying, that's proof.

Of what?

That Jenny's card says witch.

That's ridiculous, Jenny's not a witch.

True or false, the puritans would have taken

these allegations very seriously.

That's right, so as puritans

you have a choice.

You can either deal with the witch accusation or..

go back to your chores.

- I saw Jenny with the devil! - I saw Jenny with the devil!

I saw Jenny with the devil!

Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch!

Hey guys, what's going on?

Come on, run.

Witch! Witch!

Witch! Witch! Witch!

What was that all about?

They think you're a witch.

Really? Cool.