Ghudchadi (घुड़चढ़ी)

Presenting my semi-modern Kalyani Residence.

Age, 103 years.

Location, Delhi.

Three generations live in this house.

All three have different reasons to have good mornings.

One whose mornings begin with chanting the name of Lord Krishna,

is my old-school sweet-strict grandma, Kalyani Devi.

Let me introduce you.

Meet. Colonel Veer Sharma.

My father.

Though he's retired from the army,

he never misses his target.

And this is me.

Tall, fair, sexy, loveable, handsome, desi boy Chirag.

Not him.

Over here.

My mornings are spent among these beautiful people.

They remind me

that life is an ocean of hardships.

But when you have people on your side,

you can always throw a pool party.

Have more butter, mom.

Or people will say Veer doesn't look after his mom.

Since when did you start caring about what people said.

Radhe-Radhe, papa.

Radhe-Radhe, grandma.

God bless you, son.

You won't become shorter if you bend a little more.

Touch her feet correctly.

Radhe-Radhe, grandma.

Son, bending over helps keep your back and knees flexible.

Is it?

Then you should touch my feet, grandma.

Because your knees and back are always stiff.

Mom, he'll never understand your wisdom.

Get him married.

And watch.

He will be literally prostrating in front of his in-laws.

"Hello, mom. Hello, dad."

I can even prostrate before you, grandma.

If you find my type of a suitor.

What is your type?

Someone who plays Honey Singh's rap music every morning.

And even makes you sway to it along with me.

- Idiot. - And someone who likes

to spend money instead of saving it.

Right, dad.

No jokes.

Someone who doesn't know how

to cook or look after the family.

- Right? - Right.

What?

I see...so you two are a team.

Grandma...

I didn't do anything.

Mornings in Kalyani Residence

begin with such sweet arguments and laughter.

Where the grandma is worried about her grandson's marriage.

Son worried about his mother's health.

And me...

I am worried about my family's happiness.

How much longer?

Hello, uncle.

Hello, Chirag.

You idiot!

Make it rounder.

It's a wedding, not a funeral.

How about now, brother?

Yes. Amazing.

Now make sure all the others are like this.

Or uncle will pay in instalments,

on the 32nd of every month.

32nd?

Right, uncle.

Absolutely.

Hello, father.

Only a few lucky ones have children like you.

What ever.

Because all parents work hard alike.

It's normal with him.

Right, son.

See you, uncle.

Okay bye.

Do it properly.

What are you doing? Hurry up.

I am, sir.

It's a time to celebrate,

and your father is brooding.

In a love marriage, you only get the girl.

My father had dreams of a TV, fridge and an expensive car.

Why?

Has he lost hope in you

that he has to depend on someone else?

Leave it, bro. You know how it is.

I mean with my father.

Right.

Your father wouldn't waste a cup of tea with a fly in it.

Think about the meeting.

Have faith in your bro.

He will handle it.

Okay.

I don't think he can make it.

Looks impossible.

No chance, sir.

Bhatia, what looks impossible to you,

I will make it possible.

Watch.

What a shot, sir.

Fantastic. Amazing.

I have sworn never to make a bet with Mr. Sharma again.

Until the day the Indian tricolour flag wasn't hoisted

on Mt Everest, it seemed like an impossible climb.

Gentlemen.

When you get rid of impossible

from your vocabulary and think it's possible,

life will become easier.

Great, sir. Very well said.

I've a question.

Why aren't you coming to Manali with us?

Please, no.

Last time, you guys left me alone in the room in Kerala.

And went sightseeing with your wives.

No, no, that's wrong.

We all played Antakshari that night together.

Did you sing any song on friendship?

We've to return to our wives after Antakshari.

We cannot take the risk of angering them.

I am lucky.

I got over this fear 20 years ago.

Please come, sir.

No.

I've to take my mother on a pilgrimage.

What?

Mom says after turning 60,

the more you think of God,

the lesser punishment you will receive.

Let's think about punishment in heaven,

let's have some fun down here first.

The best underwear...

Cool Underwear.

Every underwear has a story.

Be it winter, summer or monsoon,

Cool Underwear elastic

never lets you down.

How is Cool Underwear better than the rest?

Cool Underwear is not just any underwear.

It's a doctor on call.

Do you see these tiny holes?

It's called a hydro-oxy purifier.

Those who wear Cool Underwear,

have 80% higher fertility count than the rest.

And Kool Underwear gives us the energy

to stay active 24/7.

And most important,

Kool Underwear is 100% smell-proof and soundproof.

So you can quietly and easily... release (fart).

And no one will know.

Not just in India alone,

but it is approved and prescribed by US doctors as well.

And their motto is, "If the underwear is right,

the future is bright".

- "Bright!" - Impressive.

Thank you.

I am the best. I am the best.

Yes.

- I met Khurrana. - I see.

He was complaining about you.

You see, Mr. Sharma.

Pills are effective only until man has gusto.

As for Khurrna,

he's turned 60 now.

Illnesses will catch up to him sooner or later.

He is not sick.

I heard his wife won't entertain him.

I heard his silencer works on silent mode.

What are you saying, Mr. Sharma?

Khurrana is trying to drive at this age.

Why would he be embarrassed in driving his own car?

You should be ashamed.

Why?

Because you keep tossing and turning

in your bed all night.

Mr. Sharma, would you prefer

an injection or whiskey.

Whiskey.

- No, no, - Why?

The bride's family is coming over tomorrow to meet Chirag.

Yes.

If they say yes,

we'll drink the entire bottle.

-Done? -Done.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Grandma.

We found them on Bharat Matrimony.

Mister, hope you didn't have any trouble getting here.

Nothing special.

Actually, the map wasn't willing

to give us the directions to your house.

Chirag, find out who this map is

and who doesn't know the directions to Kalyani's residence.