Splatter University

Let's not jump to conclusions.

He might be in the recreation ward.

I sure as hell hope so.

It's more likely to lose our boy in the halls.

Sometimes for hours.

Miss Collins?

Yeah?

We were wondering if you know-

- William Grayham missed our appointment this morning.

Do you know where we can find him?

I haven't the faintest idea.

I'm on my coffee break.

Thanks.

See what happens when you cut staff?

- Well, it doesn't look like he's in here.

No.

I'll alert security.

Why don't you talk to these people?

Maybe they know where he is.

- Yeah, listen, don't forget to check the bathrooms.

Last week, we found one guy

trying to take bath in the toilet.

Have you seen William Grayham?

- Ain't gonna get much off of this bunch.

What about you?

Locked.

Would you go down to Dr. Brookheart, please,

and get the key?

Right away.

Anybody in there?

You in there, Grayham?

What the hell are you doing here?

Come on.

Come on.

- Hey, where do you think you're goin'?!

I told you to sit in the fuckin' corner!

Mark?

Who is it?

- You gonna come to the ice cream parlor after registration?

- Nah, me and Doreen, here, we're gonna party hard.

Is that all you's two can do?

- Hey, what else do you go to college for?

Hey, Johnny boy.

Heard you had to take Sociology again.

My stupid teacher got killed.

What a pain in the ass.

Hey, don't I know it?

I wonder what this new teacher's gonna be like.

Betcha she's gonna be a real pip.

Excuse me.

Can you tell me where Father Jensen's office is?

I can't seem to find it.

You're in the wrong hallway.

You go down here and make a left

and then it's the third office on your left.

Okay, thank you.

Hmm.

Come in.

Please, sit down.

Margaret, we'll have to cancel the meeting for today.

Reschedule it tomorrow at two o'clock.

Yeah, two.

How are you today, Miss Parker?

Oh fine, thank you.

Father Janson, I was wondering if you-

- Yeah, Margaret, if she can't make it,

you'll have to tell her to see Father Perkins personally.

He'll straighten it out.

Yes.

Look, I can't talk right now, I have an appointment.

I'll call you back later.

Right, goodbye.

I'll just be a minute.

Okay.

Let's see.

You graduated Cum Laude.

Transferred once,

transferred three times.

Well, I switched my major

and decided to finish my undergraduate at NYU.

- Is this your first teaching position?

Mhmm.

Nervous?

A bit.

- Well, after reviewing your application,

I find that you have all the qualifications for the position

and I'd like to welcome you to our staff.

Oh, that's great.

Thank you.

- I'm sure you're going to find this position

both challenging and rewarding for your career.

Any questions?

No, none at the moment.

Okay.

Maybe you could spend the rest of the day

just sort of familiarizing yourself with the university.

Oh, okay.

Busy.

Just a minute, Miss Parker.

There's one more thing I think I should tell you about.

You'll find out anyway, so I may as well tell you now.

What is it?

- You're not superstitious, are you?

- Superstitious, no, of course not.

- Well, apparently, several of the other applicants

for the position were.

They pulled out of the job at the last minute.

Really?

Why?

- Well, there's a silly rumor going around,

probably started by the students,

that the classroom you'll be using is jinxed.

Jinxed?

Oh, that's silly.

- I trust you heard of the tragedy last semester.

No.

Mmm, I thought not.

Well, a young teacher, Janet Phillips,

was attacked in the class you'll be using.

It happened late one night

and we're not sure how or why it happened.

- Well, did they find out who did it?

- No, unfortunately, her death remains a mystery.

Death?

You mean she was murdered?

Yes.

Now, we're certain that her death was an isolated incident

and no one connected with the university

was involved in any way.

I hope this hasn't influenced your decision

about accepting the position.

No.

Just a minute.

Who is it?

Who's there?

Miss Parker?

Oh, Mrs. Bloom.

I didn't know who it was.

Come on in.

- I guess you didn't hear me knocking.

Is everything all right?

- Yeah, would you like some coffee?

I'm sure there's still some hot on the stove.

- Oh, no thanks, I can only stay for a minute.

I just wanted to come to remind you

to make sure that you lock the front entrance door

when you come in at night.

Some of the other tenants have been complaining

it's being left open and you know,

I really don't blame them with all the kooks

running around killing people they don't even know.

You know it seems to me if you're gonna kill someone

you at least know them real well.

You know, that's very strange.

There was a woman killed in the school I'm teaching at.

It happened a few months ago.

Do you know anything about it?

Yes.

I saw pictures of her body in the newspapers.

Blood all over the place.

It was awful.

Oh, I don't even wanna talk about it.

Now, you take when Mrs. Crawley decided

to do away with her husband.

Mrs. Crawley, who's she?

- Oh, she lived here a little over a year ago.

Now, all she had to do was put some arsenic

into Mr. Crawley's prune juice.

Went just like that.

Didn't feel a thing.

That's a much nicer way, don't you think?

Yeah.

- Of course, it did take me a whole week

to air the place out.

- Is there anything else, Mrs. Bloom?

- Oh, I guess you wanna finish your unpacking.

I'll stop by later and we'll chat.

Yeah, okay.

Have a nice day now, ya hear?

Bye bye, Mrs. Bloom.

I got the beers.

- About time, where the hell were you?

I'm gonna get something to eat.

You want something?

- Yeah, can I have a Coke, please?

Cut it out, Goddammit.

You never howl at me like that.

- I really shouldn't be drinking this, I'm on a diet.

- Cut the shit, we all know you're an alky.

Have some beer.

I don't want any, thanks.

You need a shave.

That's why they call me Wolf.

Thanks.

Hey, how's it goin'?

- Forget it, Jim, she's already got somebody.

Yeah, who?

Tom Scavelli from Pace.

Tom Scavelli?

You mean that asshole who knocked up Sue Ann McCarthy?