How to Please a Woman

Loneliness

Blast it. Who's got the vinegar?

Yep. Well, I need something.

It's really stinging. You should wee on it.

I don't think I could manage the angle.

I could. No, thanks. It's fine.

Oh, go on, give us a shot. I don't want you to wee on me.

So, what do you want for your birthday?

To not be having another birthday.

All right, gotta go. I've got to be at work by eight.

Oh, I thought you had the day off today. Yeah, that turned into

a half day off. Happy birthday me!

Mm. Bye. Bye.

Do you think she suspects anything?

Happy birthday, Mum. Thanks.

So you're old enough to retire now, right?

Ha-ha, Chloe.

There's no way they can cope without me. I can't even get a full day off.

And is Dad spoiling you?

Oh, he will, don't you worry. Oh, it's just started snowing here.

London is so amazing. I can't believe I had

to grow up in Australia. Thanks, Dad.

Oh, Mum, hey, sorry, I've got to go. Oh. But have a great birthday.

Already? Oh. Love you.

Bye, Dad. Bye, honey.

She seems happy. I hope that doesn't mean she's gonna stay. Of course she's happy.

She's having a great time ignoring her studies.

Just stop that, please.

I love this stuff! Oh.

Lack of food waste, high nutrition profile

and portion control.

It's so good you're doing it.

Wanna open that?

Go on, spoil yourself. Happy birthday.

Lovely. Now, can we go?

I've got court first thing.

Sorry.

Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I've just very quickly separated out

the ones that don't qualify for business recovery.

Dina!

Thanks.

I'm under the pump on that, um...

removers there. "Pleased To Move You."

We need to file for insolvency like yesterday.

Got it.

Where's the rest of it? Er, left it on-site.

So could you...

I'm really busy right now. I was due to finish at lunch time today,

and I do have a client report to finalise.

It will only take you a minute.

Gina? Thanks.

I - that's - yeah.

Hello?

Hello?

Whoa! Hey, hey, Ben! Sorry.

Ben, watch where you're going. Did you get your driver's licence

on the dark net?

You're really gonna have to learn how to reverse in here.

I don't like reversing. It's easy. It's like going forwards,

except backwards. Can't even do that.

We've been waiting for someone to show up.

I just came to get a file that my colleague left behind.

Tea? Biscuit?

Oh, er, well, no. I'm actually on a bit of a -

well, it's a diet box.

He makes his own ginger snaps. Kinda chewy in the middle,

but just the right amount of bite in the bite.

If you don't mind, I'll just collect the paperwork.

You have no idea what you're missing out on.

I don't know what file you're talking about.

Well, I can see it. It's just - Oh, you're the one

that's gonna shut us down.

Oh, no. I just do the organising

and the things that other people forget to do

like bringing such paperwork back to the office.

You know, if you file that today, we're all out.

Boys are owed money. Will see none of it.

I'm really not the person who makes those decision.

I just need the paperwork. Well, you can't have it.

If you don't let me have the paperwork,

I can't tell if we're able to help.

What, you can help us?

I love a good spreadsheet.

Well...

you won't like this one.

I wonder what she means by loving a spreadsheet.

Gina.

I think you must have the wrong Gina.

Er, Gina Henderson?

Yes. Um...

Happy birthday.

Er, stop that.

Now, please.

Please.

Don't you like it?

Oh, no, you're very good. Just...

Please.

Are you sure you want me to stop?

I-I'm sorry. Um...

I don't think you understand. I'm your birthday present.

Well, could you put that back on, please?

And re-buckle your belt.

Well, you've got me for two hours.

Two hours?

How long does it take you to get undressed?

Well, I undress the way you want me to undress.

And then I'll do anything that you want me to do.

Anything.

I'm very open-minded.

Anything?

Totally.

Really?

Completely.

Do you think you could clean my house?

What? Well, you said...

anything.

Yeah, not that. You said you'd do whatever I wanted.

No way, man. This is a prepaid service, right?

So I think that's a contract in sales terms.

Come on. Are you sure you wouldn't just...

rather I just take my clothes off? I'm married.

It doesn't stop most people.

Could you start by doing the floor?

Pony

You're enjoying this.

I'm not.

It's not illegal to look, you know?

Here, let me show you. You can't just rub away at it

and hope for the best. You have to...

be gentle. Yeah.

So-so go in circles.

Not so fast. Slowly.

Start gently.

Circles.

That's your two hours.

Yep. Thanks.

Um, it was, er, so not my pleasure.

Happy birthday. Oh, yep.

I'll, um... I'll let myself out.

Yeah.

They want me to be equity partner.

Why didn't you say?

I'm telling you now.

Didn't wanna jinx it. That's fantastic.

You've worked so hard. You'll be perfect.

I've never slept with a senior partner before.

Honey...

I've got a bit of a headache.

Can you get the light?

Good night.

So...

was he gorgeous?

Thank you very much, everyone, for the sex worker

you sent to my home address.

Come on, you sly dog.

No, no, I-I paid for the premium version.

They said if you get that, you can have anything you want. I...

Oh, my God.

So, what did you ask for?

I asked him to clean my house.

What?

What was I supposed to do?

Thank you for thinking of me, but if I want that I'll find it

in my own marriage.

Farley was fantastic for that, I'll have you know.

Farley was over a year ago. Some things happen in their own time.

Yeah, no, I mean, she's right, guys. It's not like any of us singles

are getting any. Apart from you, of course, Hayley.

It does. It sounds amazing, actually,

having a man clean your house.

Did he have a six-pack?

Oh, please tell me he at least took his shirt off. Did he?

It was a four-pack.

Oh, yes! Yes, Gina!

Whoo!

Brett, I was looking at those removals figures

and I think we're missing a bit of, um...

It's just fatty tissue.

Sorry. So, um, I thought...

Oh. You know you haven't remembered my birthday for five years.

There was a restructure.

My hands were tied.

I'm sorry.

You'll get picked up straight away.

There will be some sort of package.

Who else did you let go?

Just yourself at present.

Here's your copies. Now I'm almost done reconfiguring

the report system, and you need to get a social strategist.

Can I get you something, Gina?

Yeah, you can take your double D cups and you can piss off

back to your own department.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Do you think she's OK?

OK. I've got you a little cheer up present.

Oh... Now, it is a remote-controlled

internal vibrator.

So you wear it inside. Oh, I...

No. It's movement controlled, Bluetooth enabled.

It's amazing. I... No, no, no.