Diane Has the Right Shape (Diane a les épaules)

Watch this.

Jimmy Connors!

Come here!

Jimmy Connors is actually American, not Irish, you know.

Oh really?

Are you sure he's not Irish?

Oh my god, I'm so stupid.

You know I'm such a stupid girl.

But you're clever, I can see it.

Yes, you are. It shows.

Why do you put your hand here when you laugh?

Sorry?

Why do you do that?

Yes, you have your...

You still wear braces?

Oh, I get it. You have shit teeth.

You should use both hands in fact.

You don't have dentists in Belfast?

Is that why?

You should get...

How do you say "health insurance"?

Jimmy!

Wait!

I can kiss you without thinking of your teeth.

Really.

I can separate my mouth from my brain.

We'll check the crown-rump length.

That means its size from here to here.

The length is... 60 mm.

Six centimeters.

It that normal? Isn't it small?

For a 12-week fetus, it's normal.

It's not big, we're in the lower range.

A midget like you.

You idiot.

If you want, I can tell you the sex with a 70% accuracy rate.

No, we want to wait for its birth.

Actually, I think I'd like to know.

I mean, would you mind?

No. But I thought we agreed?

Yes, but...

It's up to you guys.

I don't mind. Whatever makes you happy.

I'm sorry, but we really don't want to know.

Okay.

Let's carry on.

Lie back down, please.

The next ultrasound will be between June 6 and 20.

What days are you free?

Jacques, for the next ultrasound... when do you get back?

Excuse me...

Come here a sec.

Here, hide this. I don't want Thomas to know.

What is it?

A song my mother used to sing to me.

If you listen to it, maybe he'll get used to it.

He or she.

He didn't want me to bother you with this.

Thank you.

DIANE HAS THE RIGHT SHAPE

He's bonkers.

Mom? Hang on.

Can you tell Dad that...

Hello?

Can you hear me?

Hello?

Can you send me the number of those idiots who repaired the roof?

Dad must have the bill.

Hello?

Shit, what a pain.

Ouch!

Shit!

Excuse me. Sorry.

No, it's nothing. I just walked on...

- On? - Fabrizio.

Yeah, Fabrizio. The electrician. He started today.

I had the gas turned on too.

For the contract, I can fake Dad's signature,

but I need your bank details.

Hello?

I can't hear a thing. It's too annoying, I'll call you back.

Did you see sawdust falling down from the beams?

I didn't pay attention.

You have beetles?

Yeah, out on the terrace.

I had sawdust falling on my face all fucking morning.

Hey, I like the music. Who is it?

An Austrian group. But they sing in French.

- Are you Austrian? - No way.

But I lived with an Austrian girl.

So how are Austrian babes?

I'll make coffee. Want some?

Sure, thanks.

The gynecologist is a friend of Jacques' parents.

No, I don't realize.

It doesn't look like much yet.

Yeah, right.

Morning sickness, yes.

And I'm tired.

Damn right.

Here we go.

Stop comparing...

I don't want to hear about your pregnancy.

There's no comparison...

I'll be back tomorrow around 11.

You should have electricity in your room.

Great! Thanks.

Bye!

Stupid fucking forest.

third month

Sure it's not a load-bearing wall?

The beam looks like it's sagging.

Calm down. It doesn't bear anything at all.

This part of the house was added on.

- What's wrong? - I dislocated my shoulder.

Holy shit!

You okay?

I have to put ice on it.

- Here. - That's sweet. Thanks.

That's pretty impressive.

Especially the first time.

You don't move at all?

No, you don't move. Not at all.

It relieves the pain.

You know, in Chinese medicine...

they say that arthritis

is due to weak energy circulation.

- Do you go there often? - Yes.

I mean, I used to.

I used to go often.

I don't have time anymore.

You went just for your whatchamacallit thing?

- It's called "Yi Quan." - Sorry.

My master is in Peking.

Can you break this?

- Yes. - How cool. Go ahead.

- No, not here. - C'mon, please. Real quick.

It doesn't work like that.

C'mon, shit!

Too bad.

Not even a baby brick? Real fast, with your nose.

No. But I can rebuild your wall if you want.

Thank you, Mr. Expert, it's cool.

I'll manage.

How about inviting you for dinner? Can I do that?

Let me think a minute.

You the owner?

It was my grandparent's place.

It's nice.

- The grounds are nice too. - But we can't sell it.

Oh yeah?

You shouldn't sell a place like this.

It's too expensive for my parents.

- You don't want it for yourself? - No way.

I'm just passing through.

Just long enough to fix it up.

Turn around.

What are you going to do? Some Chi Quan behind my back?

Relax.

Let your arms drop.

That's it.

What are you doing?

Hmm... that feels nice.

Oh yeah, that's good.

It feels...

- That was quick! - Sorry.

I thought you'd at least finish your beer.

Come here.

Yeah, that's nice.

Stop! No, stop!

Stop, I'm too excited.

You have fantastic breasts.

They're fake.

Go on, light your cigarette.

Let me have a hit.

- I'm trying to stop. - Oh yeah?

My sister stopped with hypnosis.

It worked?

Yeah. But she put on 22 pounds.

Now she wants to go back to lose weight.

What do you do, besides fixing up houses?

Oh, let's see...

I went to lion-taming school.

But I didn't graduate, I fell out with my big cat teacher.

You're putting me on.

Yep.

I work in a bar. I'm a waitress.

That's funny. I imagined you as something else.

Oh yeah? Like what?

I don't know, something more specific.

No.

I'm never specific.

Your energy feels ambitious.

Feeling people's karma is your thing?

No, I just didn't picture you as a cocktail waitress.

Nope.

So.

You feeling less excited now?

Want to start where we left off?

In fact, it's more like yoga.