Ernest Goes to School

Hail to the Muskrats!

The mighty, mighty Muskrats.

How ya doing?

Hail to the Muskrats.

The mighty, mighty, daunting muskrats,

Someday the Muskrats prevail.

Here the might warrior goes, to the C, to the Chickasaw...

Come on, ladies, put a little effort into it.

Chickadee

Whoa!

OK, girls, hit the showers.

Yeah!

Hail to the Muskrats.

Hail to the Muskrats.

Hail to the Muskrats they do what all they do the Muskrats.

Cheer for the Muskrats, we're for the Muskrats.

Hail to the Muskrats!

Wah!

Ow!

Ooch ow!

Ow, ow! Ow!

Ow ow.

Ooh, Oh ow.

Can anyone I need help.

Way to hustle out there Cardell.

Good hit, Raymond.

Fane, Fane, Fane, you gotta use both hands when you punt.

Spinx, you've got to keep your eyes open.

You're not seeing your secondary receiver.

I must be doing something right, tomato head.

We haven't lost a game this year.

Yeah, but...

And if we win next week, we'll be in the district finals.

So when I want your advice, I'll rattle your cage.

I was just trying to give you the benefit

of my vast years of experience.

And open my giant storehouse of football savvy, know I mean?

If you'd like later I could give you some pointers.

No.

Yeah, a football field is 100 yards long,

but it's a game of inches, of mere inches.

Plus football ain't a sport, football is a art.

And it's all in the fundamentals,

like blocking and tackling.

Suppose I had this little problem to tackle.

What I need to do is block it.

Then we put the hammer down.

And hold that line.

Yep, the right tool for the right job

and a firm belief in the fundamentals.

Yeah, I remember that cold rainy night when coach Brasswell

walked up to the bench I was warming and says,

Crazy Legs, what we need is a miracle.

Yeah, Coach Brasswell always knew who to call on when there

was a tough job to be done.

Crazy, he'd say, he always called me Crazy...

Huh?

Uh.

Oh!

Oh, uh.

Good morning, Chickasaw Falls.

Hello, Muskrats.

The question of the day is who put the snake

in Karen Turpin's locker?

And where is that snake now?

Oh my god, it's huge!

Can Rodney escape the hideous clutches of the reptile?

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion

of Rodney, King of the Jungle.

Chickasaw Falls High School is the glue that holds

our entire community together.

Closing it down now would be a fatal blow to the town.

I answer to the taxpayers of the entire district.

And the only way to cut costs is to consolidate the

obsolete schools like this one.

I realize the building needs work.

But our students and our faculty are second to none.

Let's cut to the chase here.

The board is giving you a four week

probation period to see if there's anything worth saving.

And personally, I don't see it.

Really?

I think you'll be surprised what you find.

We are on course to graduate every senior this year

and that's never been done by any school in the district.

That reminds me, Procter, new regulations.

From here on, all school employees must

have a high school diploma.

No problem there.

Our faculty is fully accredited and of the highest standards.

You have an Ernest P. Worrell here.

My records indicate he never graduated.

Well, yes.

But, but he's not faculty.

You see, he's just...

I don't make the rules.

The regulations say, all employees.

Here we go.

Excuse me.

Your name wouldn't be Worrell, would it?

That's me and boy are you in luck.

You're just in time for a personal demonstration

of supremo vac, the world's most powerful vacuum

cleaner.

Maybe some other time.

Your loss.

Ernest, turn that thing off and get in here,

please!

A job well done.

I'm sorry, sir, it never acted like that before.

And wouldn't you know it, it's just out of warranty.

We've got a problem, Ernest.

Oh, the leaky faucet in the locker room?

Don't worry about it.

It's been taken care of.

Seriously, they've changed the rules.

All school system employees must be high school graduates.

Or, or what?

Or you have to go.

But, sir, this is my life.

This is my career.

This is my spiritual fulfillment.

It's, it's my job.

It's either that or you have to go back to school.

Oh no!

Not that!

Anything but that!

Not back to school!

Good morning, Chickasaw Falls.

Got something special today.

Got a new student.

A man I like to call Ernest.

Lets all give him a big Muskrat welcome.

Good morning, ladies.

So you're going to give it a try?

Yes, sir.

You know what that famous Dr. Frankenstein said,

a brain is a terrible thing to waste.

Good morning

Good luck, Ernest.

You can do it, Ernest!

No problemo heir teacher a-scientificus.

Go ahead.

Don't be late.

Ah, he doesn't stand a chance.

Nah.

Nope.

152, 152, 152.

152!

There you are my little locker of love!

My little personal port in a storm of knowledge.

My little sanctuary far away from the teeming masses.

OK, Ernest, you ready?

Yeah.

Let the games begin.

All right, good luck.

Thanks.

See ya later, okay?

Thanks.

Go get 'em.

Quick review, lets see.

Homeroom, mathematics.

This is supposed to be memorized, bud.

No, I need that.

What's the matter, Ernie, did your mommy

hold you back a couple years?

More like a couple of decades, huh?

Ow.

Here we go.

That's go all my room numbers.

I can't find my way around without...

Get out of the way, buddy.

That's got my classes on it.

Not too close.

I don't know my way around, yet.

Come one, guys.

Please, I I need that.

I get lost, I, I, can't find my way around.

Hello?

Is anybody there?

Does anybody know where math class is?

Math class is room 205.

Thanks.

Hey, you'll need a hall pass.

Thanks.

All right, class.

Blackboard problem.

A produce truck has a trailer 12 feet wide

by 10 feet high by 20 feet long.

It carries the load of oranges, which

are packed 48 to the cotton.

Each cotton is one feet wide by one feet high by two

and 1/2 feet long.

If...

the trailer is fully loaded, how many oranges does it hold?

Who has the answer?

Anyone?

Yeow!

All right, Ernest.

Why don't you step up to the board