The Baker

- In a moment, when I say the number three,

you will enter a state of deep relaxation.

All the stresses and worries of the day

will fall away

and you will feel completely relaxed...

As you fall towards a state of tremendous well-being,

deeper and deeper.

One...

Deeper.

Two...

Deeper.

Three--

Morning, melville.

Here you go.

Blam.

- What did you want to be when you grew up?

When you were a boy, I mean.

Rich.

- I must say, that's mission accomplished.

What do you want?

What do I want?

What does anybody want?

Happiness, love, world peace.

That's the $6 million question, isn't it?

You want $6 million?

- No. - These things take time.

It's all tied up in stocks and shares.

Shut up.

Please, don't kill me.

I'm not going to.

You're gonna disappear.

You change your name, you take nothing with you,

you tell no one, and you never--

and this is the important bit--

you never, ever come back.

I hear Brazil's nice.

Very nice.

- If you fail in any one of these conditions,

I will find you.

Thank you.

- Don't thank me. Just do it.

- No, really. Thank you.

I haven't crapped for a week.

Ooh.

Shit.

What are you doing here, bjorn?

This was my job.

Your ass is mine now, Milo.

When management hears about this,

I'll have your head on a plate.

Well, make your mind up.

Is it my head or my ass you want?

A bit of both.

Why not do it now, then?

- I don't want people accusing me of acting unprofessionally.

I'll wait for the paperwork.

And when I have it,

no one will be able to save you, not even Leo.

I've been waiting for this day ever since Amsterdam.

- Hi. My name's Milo.

I'm 33.

Hi.

Hi, my name's Milo.

I'm 31.

I like going out to restaurants.

I like going to the cinema.

I love clubbing.

Uh, reading, writing, arithmetic--

shit.

My name's Milo.

I'm a professional hit man,

and I have been for too long.

What I am looking for?

Well...

Someone to--

someone to share things with.

A life without secrets.

A new beginning, I suppose,

if it's possible.

I've no idea what I am looking for.

I'll know it when I find it.

Hello?

- I don't think I can go through with this.

- What are you talking about, Leo? Through with what?

- Have you seen what happens to people when they retire?

Leo, we've been through this.

Don't see it as an end; See it as a new beginning.

Life is there for the taking.

- What do you think I've been doing for the past 20 years?

- That wasn't quite what I meant.

- You wouldn't say that if you were sitting where I am now.

And where is that?

I'm in my future.

I'm in the Autumn sun retirement village

with Stanley.

Anyway,

that's not why I rang you.

You're in deep trouble, Milo.

So it would seem.

- Are you having a nervous breakdown?

Leo, can we--

can we talk about this another time?

It's not--it's not really convenient right now.

- You have to acknowledge that you have a problem

before you can fix it, Milo.

In the meantime, get out of town.

Use the biscuit tin.

Go to my place in the country.

Melville!

- "And there went out another horse.

"And power was given to him that sat thereon

"to take peace from the earth

"and that they should kill one another.

"And I heard a voice

"in the midst of the four beasts say,

"'a measure of a wheat for a penny

"'and three measures of barley for a penny

and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.'"

amen to that.

"And I looked.

"And behold, a pale horse.

"And him that sat on him was death

and hell followed with him."

What are you gawking at?

Huh?

Smack! - Ooh!

Oh, shit.

Shit!

How are you feeling?

Come on, lucky. Off you go.

Who are you?

- I was gonna ask you the same question.

- Where am I? - In my house.

- How did I get here? - My car.

You can let go of my arm now.

A sheep exploded.

They don't normally do that.

- The question is, what were you doing up there?

Why is that the question?

- Sheep don't blow themselves up.

You think I did that?

I've got better things to do with my time.

Is that right?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

- Where do you think you're going?

- Thank you for all your assistance.

I don't want to take up any more of your time.

You're not going anywhere.

I'm sorry?

- Not until I know for sure it wasn't you.

- You're serious? - Deadly.

Just look me in the eye and say it wasn't you,

then you're free to go.

- Do you treat all your guests like this?

- You're not a guest. You're a suspect.

Go on.

How hard it can be to look someone in the eye

and tell them the truth?

It wasn't me.

That wasn't too hard, was it?

You can go now. - Thank you.

- I'll give you a lift if you like.

That won't be necessary.

- I know. Come on.

Slam!

It's a Glock 17.

It's made almost entirely of plastic,

making it UN...De...Tec...Table

by metal...Detectors.

For this reason alone,

it is the hand gun of choice

for professional assistants.

For professional assassins.

Thanks again.

- Take these. Painkillers.

They're for dogs.

So if you get an urge to cock your leg on a lamppost,

don't worry, it'll wear off.

Welcome to gwynfyd.

What I am looking for?

Someone to share things with.

Oh, Milo.

Hello.

Nice hat.

- Boy, she's a beauty, isn't she?

Were you on the moors?

That's right.

Give longshanks a right kicking.

Historical reenactment society.

Longshanks?

Edward I, king of england,

1272 to 1307.

I can see you are not an historical gentleman.

No, I'm afraid not.

It's you, isn't it?

- What's me? - You're him, aren't you?

I thought so.

- I think--i think you might have made some sort of mistake.

- Oh, no, no. Not at all. Not at all.